What Not To Watch: Cyborg Cop II

I think Jill Pierce said it best when she said “Everything you touch turns to sh*t!” to David Bradley in Cyborg Cop II.

While other action stars are held in the highest regard on this site, David Bradley is not among them.  And the reason for it… movies like Cyborg Cop II. And it is not to say that some of the action stars we admire so much haven’t made a bad film in their careers. If anything, a quality action star can make bad films great. And they do it with their personality and their charisma and their screen presence. Three things Bradley is lacking in.

So when you combine a D level action star with a bad movie it is the perfect combination for a What Not To Watch feature…

• Rolling Over In His Grave: Let’s start off with the name of David Bradley’s character in this film… Jack Ryan. Are you kidding me? They name his character Jack Ryan! Why not just name him Indiana Jones? I think at this point in the world, people associated the name Jack Ryan with the character created by Tom Clancy. A character that was brought to life on the big screen by Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford prior to the original Cyborg Cop even being released.
• Misnomer: And what about the name of the whole Cyborg Cop series… Bradley is the cop battling cyborgs in this movie. He himself is not a cyborg, so there’s not actually a Cyborg Cop in this film. But the title would make you believe that this is some sort of Robocop ripoff. Instead the title is just two words mashed together.

• What Not To Wear: David Bradley’s wardrobe in Cyborg Cop II can be described as Greaser with a fanny pack. I guess the leather jacket was to help back up his catchphrase “I was born for trouble.”
• Slo-Motion: Alright, so the star is unappealing, the acting is wooden and the story about a death row inmate being chosen for this cyborg experiment leaves you scratching your head. But this is an ACTION movie… the action is what makes or breaks it… well the action isn’t all that great either. In fact, some of the scenes look like the guys are moving in slo-motion. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the Scott Adkins’ Ninja movies where fight scenes are concerned.

• No Support: I don’t want to lay all the blame on this heap of garbage on David Bradley. It isn’t as if though they surrounded him with a quality cast (a luxury he had in American Ninja 3 and American Samurai). Morgan Hunter as the death row inmate turned crazed cyborg looking to make an entire race of cyborgs is not spending his weekend polishing his numerous acting awards. And the “cyborg voice” they chose to use is annoying.  But I think the worst actor of the bunch is Adrian Waldron who plays Jon Travis. He’s awful, just awful.
• The Bitter End: You would think by the time I got to the end of this awful movie I’d just be happy that it was over… but instead our hero, the little kid who is some how associated with him and tough chick Liz McDowell all run away from an exploding nuclear power plant. I don’t want to sit here and get too detailed in my thinking of the type of carnage and destruction that an actual nuclear power plant exploding would cause, but I think it is safe to say if you were within a few miles of it, you would be screwed. Yet, those three just run away… maybe because they only blew up a model of the nuclear power plant and not the plant itself. That’s right, you can add horrible special effects to the list of garbage in this movie.

As always, learn from my mistakes people. Do not watch Cyborg Cop 2.