The Unrelenting Power of the Leather Jacket
I’ve always believed in preparing for the worst. I have a “go bag” in my basement filled with supplies, a collection of firearms that rivals most National Guard armories, and my most valuable commodity; my leather jacket hanging in the closet. If you’ve ever seen an action movie than you should know that in order to be a full-on badass you really do need to be wearing a leather jacket. Charles Bronson knew that to avenge the death of pretty much every person he’s ever met that he would need the magic of the cattle-skinned armor on his side.
Nicolas Cage has dabbled in the revenge business on more than one occasion and he knows better than most that a good leather jacket is worth more than a nuclear warhead if you wear that shit right. All you have to do is watch his movie Rage/Tokarev to see for yourselves. When he’s finally ready to go wild with rage he first pulls his trusty leather friend out of his closet and cloaks himself in its glory.
Dwayne Johnson is one of the biggest action stars alive today and he spent the entire duration of the film Faster killing a bunch of jabronis that offed his brother and sent him to prison but he didn’t do shit till he popped on his leather jacket and climbed behind the wheel of his American muscle car.
Tom Cruise, that ageless lunatic, has squeezed into a leather jacket so many times that he’s barely recognizable without one. For his role as Jack Reacher, he didn’t quite have the size to match the character, but after going through a couple of leather jackets throughout the film he was able to kill the bad guys, save the girl, and thwart the plans of that European guy that I can’t remember all thanks in part to the good graces of Xenu, but also because of that kick ass coat he wore!
The leather jacket has been around for years. The Greek hero Achilles wore a bomber-style leather jacket as he crept from the inner belly of the Trojan Horse to surprise the people of Troy a few thousand years ago. George Washington shielded his face from the misting waters of the Delaware River minutes before he led his men into the camps of the enemy on Christmas morning. The New Testament mentions the Romans stripping Jesus of his leather jacket before his crucifixion. So you see, the leather jacket is far more than just a fashion choice or an accessory to be worn by just any old man. There is a great deal of responsibility that comes with the acceptance of such a gift and while many men have used their leathers for evil, there will always be a hero who steps forward, guided and shielded by the supernatural powers of the tanned hide.
Gotta have that jacket!
Knocked out by an 80 year old man! Assist to the leather jacket!
