5 Questions: Cobra

I know Cobra is not among Sylvester Stallone’s top films. I also know that many fans are extremely critical of the movie.

While it is not First Blood it is also not Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.

I can see both sides of the argument for Cobra, while I personally enjoy the film it does include some elements that a person could  question…

1. Is anyone else surprised that Stallone hasn’t done more voice over work in his career?

In all seriousness, why would you start your movie with Stallone reading crime statistics in his Stallone voice? The only worse option would be if you had Vin Diesel do it in his Dom from Fast & Furious voice. Is that really the first impression you want your lead character to make on the audience? Morgan Freeman has nothing to worry about.

2. Who in the world cuts their pizza with a pair of scissors?

Cobra goes back to his home, he gets a pizza box out of the fridge. There’s one slice left. He takes it, grabs a pair of scissors and cuts off the tip of the pizza and eats it. Just the tip?! (That’s what she said) Is that how he always eats his pizza? does he basically just eat the center of it, throwing away most of the pie and all of the crust each time? This is worse than eating a candy bar with a fork and knife.

Bonus question, why does it take him several minutes to remove his sunglasses when he gets inside? I’ve always heard there are two kinds of people who wear sunglasses indoors and Cobra wasn’t blind.

3. Can someone explain the whole robot photo shoot to me?

I know it was the 80’s. I know I’m also not the artsiest guy on the block, but I can not wrap my head around what the photo shoot Brigitte Nielsen’s character Ingrid was partaking in was going for? Were these just shots for her portfolio? Was she modeling for the company that made the robots? I need an explanation.

4. Did Cobra realize it was setting a trend of late 80’s action movies that take place during Christmas time?

In 1986 Cobra did what Lethal Weapon would do the following year and what Die Hard would do in 1988 (and again in 1990) and have horrible things happening during the most wonderful time of the year.

So for those moviegoers who talk trash on Cobra, at least you can say it was a trendsetter!

5. Did Sylvester Stallone have to go to stunt driving school for the final scene in the movie?

I mean where else does one learn how to drive between the rolling credits so precisely?