Bullet Points: Hardcore Henry
There are some movies that turn out to be amazing theatrical experiences. I know, for one, I made an effort to go see Avatar in 3D and for the most part I thought it was a really fun movie. A more recent film that was really cool to see in theaters was the newest Star Wars flick. Mostly because I grew up watching the series and tried to go in having watching nothing but the trailer a couple of times and abstaining from viewing all 4,000 clips that were released prior to its debut.
Hardcore Henry is a film that we discussed on this site months before it was released. I had seen the work from director Ilya Naishuller’s music videos and thought it was cool as hell. How it would work for a 90 minute movie was anyone’s guess, but there was plenty of excitement when Henry came out and it wasn’t long before a couple of my friends returned from the multiplex with their own curse-laden reviews. They weren’t happy.
Synopsis: You just woke up in a laboratory, surrounded by a bunch of weird equipment and a hot blonde chick who says she is your wife and that you are now a cyborg. Also, your name is Henry (not that it really matters). Moments later a group of villainous looking dudes bust in and attempt to kill you and kidnap your wife. Soon you’re plummeting to your death from an airplane, car-chasing through the city with 6 different versions of Sharlto Copley, and killing an obscene amount of people in order to get your wife back. Sounds like a pretty average day, I guess.
- Good Move: The scene in the lab of the scientists wife putting together Henry’s appendages reminded me so much of Robocop that it put a smile on my face. Any movie that can start off by reminding us of Robocop is already on pace to be the greatest film of all time!
- It Didn’t Take Long: By the time that Henry is on the run from the albino kidnapper dude, I was already getting sick of watching a movie in POV. I loved the music videos by Naishuller but those were only five minutes long and I knew that 96 minutes of this film might give me an aneurism. Action scenes and porn look totally awesome in POV but I don’t want to see an entire movie like that.
- I Got Jokes: They should have called this movie “Hardcore Headache” because I was already feeling a bit queasy in the first 10 minutes.
- Millennial Turd Sandwich: This movie is very much a product of this current generation. It’s obvious that something like this wouldn’t have flown 20 years ago and ,without looking, probably didn’t make a crazy amount of money with this group. Watching it is so reminiscent of the 3rd person shooter games that kids these days are playing constantly that I can’t separate it from the generation of disrespectful youth that continue to call me derogatory terms every time I try to join in a game on Call of Duty.
- How Many Sharlto’s Do You Need: Sharlto Copley has become one of my favorite actors to see attached to a movie. I’m not saying that he’s A-Lister material but he’s one of the best guys around to put in your movie in a random role and see what he comes up with. Hardcore Henry must have felt the same way as me because we get so many versions of Copley that I thought that I had been drinking too much Jack and all the actors looked alike.
- Check out this Rig: Apparently this is the type of stuff that most of the movie was filmed on. Not only does it look super uncomfortable, it also looks like some night vision goggles from some early 80’s Cannon movie. Sharlto Copley, on the other hand, looks cool as shit in that ghillie suit.
- Queen Rules: I knew the moment that I heard the song “Don’t Stop Me Now” from legendary rockstars Queen that the metaphorical shit was about to hit the fan. My first thought was on the scene from Shaun of the Dead which features the same song but it quickly subsided and I was in the moment to watch Henry kill a ridiculous amount of guys.
- The Finale: The final 20 minutes or so of the Hardcore Henry is dominated by the insane action that I expected the film to highlight. In fact, there was so much action in the movie that I was actually hoping for some more story and plot development by the third act. I know…that sounds like something that comes out of the mouth of some pussy film critic from Rotten Tomatoes or something but even I appreciate a bit of dialogue at times. It’s like listening to an ass-kicking album from Black Label Society and saying, “you know what, this ballad by Zakk Wylde is pretty kickass.” I don’t want an entire album of him swooning over some chick or whatever but stuffing one or two on an album of 13 other rocking tunes is something that I can get behind.
The Verdict: I am still kind of on the fence about Hardcore Henry. At times, I loved the POV style action. The car chases and the shootouts in the multi-level building were very cool. On the other hand, I just don’t see it as a way to film an entire movie. It really did feel like it was missing something; whether that is dialogue from the lead, plot development, or just a scene where we actually find out some information on why the villain is weird looking and such a dick. I would certainly check out some of the trailers for the movie before watching and if you’re not in the mood for 96 minutes of that, then you should skip it. If you just love pure shoot’em up POV action, then Hardcore Henry is for you.
