Bullet Points: I Come in Peace
There is no shortage of Dolph Lundgren films out there but somehow this one never gets brought up in conversations concerning the actor (you guys also have conversations about Dolph’s filmography, right?). I Come in Peace came out in 1990 but it might as well have been an 80’s movie. I think if it had it would get a little more leniency when it comes to the crazy story anyways. We tend to think of the films from the 1980’s with a little more nostalgia than the ones from a few years later. The same is done with music. Even though most of the bands from the 80’s were complete shit they still have “80’s Music Nite’s” at all of the local college bars and the 19 year old girls love them even though they weren’t even born yet. Stupid kids.
The Gist: Dolph Lundgren plays Jack Caine, the most action movie name of all time and a badass cop who gives a grand total of zero shits when it comes to the rules. While attempting to take down the Houston heroin peddling gang “The White Boys”, Jack gets partnered up with the yang to his yin in FBI Agent Smith. No, not the one from The Matrix. They begin their investigation when an alien shows up and starts shooting people up with heroin and mining endorphins from their bodies to sell as drugs on his home planet. Now Jack and Smith have to deal with both of the bad guys and stop the alien before all of his buddies show up for a quick score.
The Cast: It was only after writing that synopsis above that I realize just how bat-shit crazy this movie sounds. It’s actually played much more straight-forward than it needed to be and it might have been a little funner if the characters didn’t just outright accept that an alien was doing all this stuff. That doesn’t mean that the actors present didn’t do a good job, though. Dolph is exactly like every other movie cop….he’s pretty much just John McClane. This movie is most fondly remembered by me for featuring former Duke Basketball great Jay Bilas as the “Good Alien”. I don’t believe he ever did anything after this and I can’t imagine it was because of his experiences with this film because who wouldn’t want to be a part of a movie like this?
Smith was actually much more competent than he needed to be.
The Villain: Matthias Hues plays the excellently named “Bad Alien” and he does so with the grunting and weird eye contact that I’m used to seeing in poorly made pornos. Rarely does Hues speak but when he does he’s so full of shit because he keeps telling people that “I come in peace” when obviously he doesn’t. I would have liked a scene when he first arrived to Earth where his victim jokingly says “I come in peace” to him before being killed. That would set up the line instead of him just appearing already fluent in English. Another issue I had that shouldn’t have been an issue is when Hues just jumps in a police car and starts driving like Tony Stewart (minus the vehicular manslaughter) after Dolph and his crew in what would turn out to be a decent little car chase complete with NOT ONE BUT TWO explosions. Hues is all Predatored up with a bunch of alien weapons including a charged up gun (kinda boring), a hose for sucking out body fluids (unique), and a flying compact disc (awesome). It had to be a Kenny Loggins disc, right?
Hues always sounds like he’s trying to clear his throat. Someone get this man a cough drop!
The Action: Car chases, a bunch of explosions, Dolph roundhouse kicking a guy, and throat-slitting CD’s should fulfill your need for entertainment. The absurdity of the story never gets out of hand and most of the action is quick and keeps you from having to actually think about how ridiculous the film is. Dolph gets plenty of opportunities to show how rugged and badass he is by not following police procedures and wearing a jacket with no shirt underneath. Hues walks around downtown Houston at 6’5″ with white hair, white eyes, and an amazing duster jacket but somehow doesn’t even get questioned by a police officer. If he had just been a black guy he wouldn’t have made it three blocks before he was facedown on the pavement with a drug dog sniffing his asscrack.
Jay Bilas looks like he sneezed so hard his hair moved backwards 4 inches.
Take it Home:
- Too many titles: The project was initially titled “Lethal Contact”. It was released internationally as “Dark Angel” and later in the U.S. as “I Come in Peace”.
- Blue Devil Nation: No matter how many times I have tweeted this picture of Jay Bilas out to him he hasn’t yet replied. Don’t tell me he’s embarrassed of this film.
- You’re smarter than that Dolph: He tells Smith “Never trust nobody”. C’mon man!
- Higher Education: Dolph’s first partner tells the bad guys that he went to “The University of Suck My Dick”. I’m going to need to see a transcript.
The Verdict: This movie is something of a hidden gem. Most people haven’t heard of it but if you’re into the type of film where a rogue cop takes down a drug-dealing alien with a killer CD flying out of his arm then you’ll love this. I know I sure do. It fits right in with other alien films of the late 80’s/early 90’s. Do give this one a try. You won’t be disappointed.
