What Not To Watch: Rogue Strike
Rogue Strike is a movie about sinking to new lows. And Rogue Strike is a movie that did sink to new lows even by our already low What Not To Watch standards.
- The Premise: A Russian submarine carrying Project Prometheus (the most powerful nuclear weapon in history) has sunk to the lowest portion of the ocean floor. Conveniently after this happens, a guy named Jay, who has developed a one of a kind mini-submersible named the Trident II, is in the midst of testing his vessel and documenting it with the help of documentary film maker Scott. The Trident II’s revolutionary design will allow it to go to depths no other vessel has been able to achieve… it will also allow someone to retrieve Project Prometheus. Captain Jay and Scott begin their descent into the abyss . Meanwhile on top side, the ship the Trident II launched from has been taken over by a group of radicals led by a woman named Svetlana. Svetlana is threatening to execute all those aboard the ship including Captain Jay’s son and Scott’s pregnant girlfriend, if the two man Trident II crew does not retrieve Project Prometheus for them.
- You My Friend Are No Bruce Willis: Rogue Strike has a run time of 86 minutes. Roughly 60 of those minutes feature back and forth dialogue between Captain Jay and Scott as they sit on their mesh back office chairs aboard the Trident II. I’d like to point out that Scott is played by Kerry Beyer. Beyer is also the director of Rogue Strike. Beyer also wrote Rogue Strike. Kerry Beyer also served as executive producer, cinematographer, special makeup effects artist and camera operator. Kerry Beyer may have also made the cast and crew sloppy joes for lunch but Kerry Beyer is NO action hero. But at least he realized that, since he was the guy who wrote the line for the movie’s #1 villain, Svetlana, when she on two occasions tells him he is no Bruce Willis. And speaking of Beyer’s writing, the man has a darkside…
- Rogue Writer: Amidst the “witty” repartee and lame attempts at humor, Rogue Strike will throw things at you like Captain Jay lying about having stage four lung cancer, or Svetlana making a female hostage confess to having an extramarital affair at gunpoint, then having that hostage call her husband and tell him that she has been cheating on him and then after that torture, Svetlana shoots the woman in the head. And if that isn’t bad enough, Scott’s pregnant girlfriend is raped, possibly on more than one occasion. Yes… just a funny, quirky, action movie from Kerry Beyer.
- The Numbers Game: When your name is Eric Roberts and you star in dozens of projects each year, odds are that at some point at least one of the projects you are in is going to be a total piece of crap and Rogue Strike more than qualifies as a total piece of crap. Roberts is only in the film for a few minutes total and it appeared all his shots were done in front of a green screen. So if he was even on set for more than a few hours I’d be surprised. He probably didn’t even get one of the sloppy joes that Kerry Beyer probably made. I will say that the green screen effects used in Rogue Strike were better than some of those I saw used in Pound of Flesh. If you really want to see Eric Roberts in some underwater action check out Depth Charge starring Roberts and Jason Gedrick of Iron Eagle fame.
Rogue Strike is a terrible movie and an even worse action movie, because the action is limited to military stock footage and computer generated action. The “crew” of the Trident II is about as unlikable as two people can be. I kept hoping that Brick Tamland would show up and kill Captain Jay and Scott with a trident. In fact the scene in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy that I am referencing, had 85% more action than all of Rogue Strike combined.
Rogue Strike was a rough one to get through. When Svetlana talks about giving Scott’s girlfriend “the most painful and agonizing death possible”, I assumed it involved having her watch Rogue Strike over and over again. Rest assured I will never watch Rogue Strike again and you should never watch it either.
Here’s a few more reasons to hate the film…
- Accentuate the Negatives: The Russian accents are awful in this movie.
- Underwater 911: In the middle of the Pacific Ocean at incredible depths, Scott calls and gets through to 911. Give me a break!
- Seems Legit: Check out Deke Anderson’s IMDb profile picture. Very professional.
- Memorable Quote: “Doctors. Schmoctors.” – Captain Jay
