Bullet Points: Re-Generator

Fans that are well versed in the world of action entertainment have undoubtedly seen an action movie or two starring Olivier Gruner. Now I consider myself a well versed fan of the action entertainment genre, but even I didn’t know that Mr. Gruner had some directing and writing credits to his name until I came across the 2010 movie, Re-Generator. 

From my research, it appears that Gruner made his directorial debut with the movie One Night. Ironically, it appears that One Night was re-generated into the movie Re-Generator. Not unlike the Steven Seagal movie Harvester that turned into Attack Force.

But unlike Attack Force, I was able to finish Re-Generator…

• The Beast: In the past I’ve mentioned that the key to making a watchable Olivier Gruner movie is to limit Gruner’s dialogue. Well Re-Generator takes that theory to the extreme as Gruner’s character “The Beast” never utters a line. I don’t think he so much as grunted. The Beast is a government experiment (known as Project S74) that has gone horribly wrong. The Beast is a killing machine that the military figured out how to activate, but for some reason they haven’t figured out how to deactivate.
• Camp Crystal Mountain: After The Beast escapes captivity, he is wandering around in the woods. The very same woods where a bunch of pot smoking, sexually active teenagers are camping for the weekend. Those poor teenagers had planned on redefining what getting wasted meant that weekend, well all of them did get wasted… by  The Beast. The Beast goes full on Jason Voorhees on the teens killing them off one by one.

• Needs More Logan: Before I hit play on Re-Generator I made the cardinal mistake of judging a movie by its cover. I was confident that Olivier Gruner was going to be the villain in this story and then when I saw that Paul Logan was also in the movie, I incorrectly assumed that he would be the hero of the story and we would have an epic Gruner/Logan showdown to end Re-Generator on the highest not possible. Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Paul Logan’s role is extremely limited in Re-Generator. There’s a scene with Logan’s character Captain Rob Stevens being briefed about the Project S74 incident by his commanding officer General More. The only other Logan scene features Stevens talking to some seedy characters and getting their permission to bomb the top of the mountain that The Beast is wreaking havoc on. I am not entirely sure why those two guys had to approve of the military plan to destroy The Beast. What I am sure of is Re-Generator could have greatly benefited from more Paul Logan.

• The Glue: As the narrator of the story, the character of Mr. Karr (Brad Potts) proves to be an essential one. Karr is a no-nonsense kind of guy with powerful connections. When there’s a gigantic mess that needs to be cleaned up (or covered up), you want to call Mr. Karr in. Potts plays Mr. Karr with Dragnet like deadpan and was easily my favorite character in the movie. I love that Karr is as serious as a heart attack, no matter how ridiculous (or profanity riddled) the things coming out of his mouth are.

I’ll be honest, I would not recommend this movie for everyone. But if you are a fan of genre mash-ups (Re-Generator combines action, sci-fi and a little bit of horror) or you believe that the government is experimenting with human beings in hopes of making an army of super soldiers and you want evidence to argue against such experiments, then you’d probably want to check out Re-Generator.

Also, if you are a huge fan of Olivier Gruner, you would definitely want to check out Re-Generator. And if you are a huge fan of Olivier Gruner, I would absolutely love to interview you for the site so I can ask you things like, “Why do you love Olivier Gruner?” and “What is it about Olivier Gruner that made you a fan?”. I find the topic absolutely fascinating.

Now allow me to fascinate you with some bonus Bullet Points…

• Technological Advancement #1: You have probably heard of the smokeless ashtray (if not go watch Gremlins right now!), but Re-Generator introduces us to the world of the smokeless airplane. That’s right, the plane that was carrying The Beast crashes in the Rocky Mountains and there’s not a single puff of smoke.

• One Question: Why does the raging alcoholic Carl Johnson refer to himself as “Old Man Johnson” when he calls the police to report the plane crash? Props to him for embracing the nickname bestowed upon him by the people of Juniper Point, but this seemed a bit strange to me.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see a General point out the wet spot on the front of a Senator’s pants, then this is the movie for you.
• Best Phallic Euphemism: Baloney Pony
• Soundtrack: Re-Generator features a campfire song entitled “When you put out.” To the best of my knowledge the song has never been released.
• Hyphenated: I want to compliment Re-Generator on its use of the hyphen. I don’t hand out hyphen compliments like candy either, the only other time I did it was for Marcie Dahlgren-Frost.
• Technological Advancement #2: Our intrepid reporter Katie and her cameraman Derek, have some sort of camera that can instantly cut into their station’s broadcast signal. The only equipment they have is what appeared to be a high-def video camera and a head set. Yet, at a moment’s notice when Katie tells Derek to start shooting, she is appearing LIVE! on television.