Bullet Points: Officer Downe
Pardon my ignorance, but up until a few weeks ago when I was looking for upcoming action movies coming to VOD I had never heard of Officer Downe. I didn’t know there were Officer Downe graphic novels and that the character was following in the footsteps of many comic book heroes and making the leap from print media to motion pictures. Mind you I don’t get to my local comic book shop like I used to… a nasty side effect of having a full time job and a sacrifice made when most of my free time is spent watching action movies. And while I’m confessing to ignorance, I also had no idea one of the dudes from Slipknot, M. Shawn Crahan, was a movie director. Also, I don’t think I could name a single Slipknot song, but that is neither here nor there.
I felt like Frank Costanza going into this movie because I was going in fresh (plus my guess is Frank Costanza also couldn’t name a single Slipknot song). It was nice sitting down with no preconceived notions about the movie. I knew I wouldn’t be complaining how it didn’t match the source material, although that complaint seems unlikely since the writer of the movie is also one of the writers/creators of the comic, Joe Casey. All I knew, is it was about a cop who could not die. He just keeps coming back… that was enough for me.
- You Can’t Keep a Good Man Downe: Officer Terrence Downe is played by Kim Coates. The Canadian born Coates is probably best known for his more recent work on the Sons of Anarchy television series, but many action fans will remember him from his role in The Last Boy Scout. Coates comes across as the grizzled hard ass he should. We are introduced to his character as he is orally pleasing a naked female. But duty soon calls and Officer Downe is off to a warehouse that is producing the street drug Super Crank. This illegal operation is run by a real lowlife named Headcase Harry. While Harry may in fact be a headcase, he does believe in the mantra that the captain goes down with the ship. Instead of allowing Officer Downe to bring him to justice, Harry hits the self destruct button, incinerating the entire facility and all those who resided inside it.
- One Downe, One To Go: We are then introduced to our next major character in the film, Officer Gable (played by Tyler Ross). Gable is a young rookie cop who is recruited personally by Police Chief Berringer (played by Lauren Luna Velez of Dexter fame) for a special assignment. Gable is given quite the introduction to the new world he has been asked to join by seeing an extra crispy Officer Downe brought back to life deep in the bowels of the police station. Gable is part of a team of four cops that shadow Downe when he is in action. Their main function is to clean up when Downe is done. They are under no circumstances to intercede while Downe is doing his thing. You try telling that to an eager beaver like Officer Gable. Gable goes above and beyond, even finding out the secret to how they are able to regenerate Downe. Spoiler Alert: It is through telekinesis. Gable’s character is such a major part of the movie that the movie could have been named Officer Gable and it would still make sense. The Gable character gives this movie heart and the audience a character it can relate to, since I don’t think anyone of us can really relate to a reanimated super cop.
- Downe with the Sickness: The villains in this movie are as over the top as the premise. They are basically people with animal heads. The name of their nefarious crime organization is the Fortune 500. The Fortune 500 is all kinds of pissed that the LAPD sent in their super cop to shut down Headcase Harry’s operation, an operation they had a piece of because they have a piece of all the illegal goings on in Los Angeles. Knowing Officer Downe is a force to be reckoned with, the Fortune 500 calls upon a teacher of killing machines, Zen Master Flash, to come down from his mountain with his students and kill the unkillable Downe. Flash is a bad mo fo. To get Downe’s attention, he and his ninja students go to a hospital and slaughter everyone. Downe, true to form, shows up but before long we find out it was all a trap and this time Downe may be dead for real.
The stylized way Officer Downe was both shot and edited give the movie a real graphic novel feel. I assume fans of the comics would eat this movie up. From my perspective as an Officer Downe newbie, the movie felt like it was trying too hard at times to be cool. There were absolutely no subtleties to this movie. It is an in your face action movie with a good amount of gore too.
Like Officer Downe himself, this review is not finished, so get ready for some bonus Bullet Points…
- If You Ever: …felt that the one thing that was missing from action movies all these years was an orgasm counter at the bottom of the screen, then this is the movie for you.
- Familiar Face: Sam Witwer plays Branham, the scientist that works with the telekinetics that power Officer Downe. I’ll always remember Witwer from his work on the CW’s original superhero show, Smallville.
- Going Downe: Officer Downe has to hold the honor of having the most scenes involving oral sex in any action movie in history.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see gun runners who dressed up like nuns, then this is the movie for you.
- Lethal Reference: Martin Riggs and the movie Lethal Weapon are referenced in Officer Downe.
- Punch It: At one point in the movie, Officer Downe punches his radio to stop the music. I felt the same way, except for the scene where they used Billy Squier. Probably my favorite scene of the whole movie. I think this review could use a little Billy Squier too, so enjoy…
