Bullet Points: Streets of Rage

Not all action movies are just mindless action scenes followed by mindless action scenes.  Once in a while you will come across a movie that champions a cause, even uncomfortable subjects. 1994’s Streets of Rage is one such film that gives a voice to the child victims of homelessness and prostitution. While there might not be more heinous crimes than those against children, we sometimes need to be reminded of the horror out there in this world.  Still not convinced to watch? Mimi Lesseos. That should be enough to get you to watch. Not only do we get to see Mimi do her normal kick assery on screen, Magnificent Mimi also wrote and produced Streets of Rage. And while the subject matter might be despicable, Streets of Rage presents it in an action packed form with a enough light hearted moments that you will be giving Mimi a standing ovation. So join me in doing it Doobie Brothers style as we are takin’ it to the streets.

• Smooth Sailing: Melody Sails (Mimi Lesseos, Pushed to the Limit) is a lowly research assistant dreaming of becoming a full-fledged reporter for what appears to be a very small newspaper. I say appears because we only ever see five employees. Besides Melody there is a Perry White-ish boss Harrison (Tony Gibson in his first of only two acting credits,) a veteran reporter mentor Max (Lee Wessof in one of his last of nine acting credits,) an on again off again love interest Nick (James Michael White in his second of fourteen acting credits,) and Sara the secretary with loose morals (Cheryl Anne in her last of three acting credits.) Melody desperately wants to be a reporter and since Harrison is not giving her any assignments she takes Max’s advice and decides to find her own story.

• Pay to Play: Melody comes across some underprivileged kids and their struggle provides a perfect story. Steven (Ira Gold in his first of seven acting credits) is a homeless twelve year old that wants to stay out of trouble but is willing to be interviewed by Melody. Candy (Juli James in her last of two acting credits) is a 16 year old prostitute that is also willing to be interviewed. Through the pair of street kids, Melody learns that Lunar (Oliver Page in his first of eleven acting credits) is that main pimp in the underage hooker game. Lunar is never seen out of his car so nobody knows who he actually is. All of Lunar’s dirty work is done by his driver and bodyguard Gokor (famed fighter Gokor Chivichyan in his first of twelve acting credits.) Flash (Shenin Siapinski in her only acting credit) is Lunar’s main girl, but once she wants of the whore game, Lunar frees her from all of responsibilities if you know what I mean.

• Three’s Company: While Melody is trying to write the perfect story and unravel the mystery behind the child prostitution ring, she is also dealing with three different suitors.  One of the potential love interests is also potentially Lunar and we as the audience don’t know either because we never see his face until the end. Nick her co-worker and boyfriend is not a stand-up guy, cheating on Melody with the office secretary. The detective in charge of the police investigation, Ryan (Christopher Cass in one of twenty-one acting credits – over twenty! that must be a mistake) begins courting Melody after they meet, but we don’t know if he is trying to get too close to Melody because of an ulterior motive. Finally, there is Scott, a rich Texan oil tycoon, who is either more than he says or is just another red herring. (That is for you to watch to find out.) Scott and Melody do engage in the most erotic conversation about the Pulitzer Prize ever on film, so kudos to them both. I also shouldn’t leave out Steven’s infatuation with Melody and he constantly calls her Wonder Woman to show his crush.

• Mimi MOREeos: Like I said at the top, Mimi Lesseos is the reason to watch Streets of Rage. Going into a Mimi movie you expect quality fights and Streets of Rage doesn’t disappoint. Seeing Mimi beat up wave after wave of street thugs never gets old. However, if fights are not enough Streets of Rage also adds even more of Magnificent Mimi. After Melody has Steven and Candi sleep over and the two kids go to bed, the audience is immediately treated to a shower scene of Melody in what I can only image is her washing that homeless street filth off every inch of her body. Was it a little creepy to see it immediately after watching Melody trying to help the kids? Maybe, but there was definitely something raging after watching that scene in Streets of Rage. Bonus points for also seeing Melody puking out of her car while driving home after a night of drinking. Did I mention that Mimi Lesseos wrote and produced Streets of Rage?

Streets of Rage is an entertaining action film that sheds some light on unpleasant subjects. Don’t let this deter you from watching because Mimi Lesseos shines like always and the action and comedic moments are the real focus of the film and it is always satisfying to see a psychotic villain like Lunar get what is coming to him. Spoiler alert, Streets of Rage has a happy ending! Since we know that everything is better with a happy ending, enjoy these Streets of Rage Bonus Bullet Points!

• Book of Genesis: Streets of Rage is also the title of one of the most famous Sega Genesis (or Mega Drive outside of North America) games. If you are wondering, the game came first being published in 1991.

• Who could ask for more?: Streets of Rage was directed by Richard Elfman, and also gets a screenplay credit with Mimi Lesseos. You might recognize him as one of the founders of Oingo Boingo, but not as Aristide Sumatra, the name he was credited for as director.

• Bon Apetite: I am pretty sure Melody was cooking a chicken on a garbage can lid in her oven. No wonder Nick stood her up.

• Carship Trooper: Does Mimi actually own the Isuzu Trooper she drives in all her movies? Is just a big fan of Troopers? Was this product replacement for a five year old vehicle?

• Comic Sans: Wonder Woman isn’t the only female comic hero for Melody to get compared to. There is a rare shoutout to reporter extraordinaire Brenda Starr.