Bullet Points: Kounterfeit
When you hear a title of a movie that is a word with a definition that means making an exact imitation of something of value in order to deceive or defraud you would think that you are in for another copycat action movie. That is until you see that the spelling is slightly different. While this is commonly done by changing S to Z, successfully in Soldier Boyz and unsuccessful in Hot Boyz, the producers of Kounterfeit went with the bold choice of changing C to K. Kounterfeit is not completely original and may have some similar action movie themes and plot points, but just like the spelling, it has that little extra spice that makes for a fun time. I just happen to have some Bullet Points from the 1996 film (or are they just an exact copy of someone else’s, I’ll never tell) so join me on a journey to Kounterfeit.
- Kast of Kharacters: Kounterfeit begins with an unnamed counterfeiter being robbed and killed by two men in camouflage hockey goalie masks. The thieves are looking for more of the funny money that the counterfeiter doesn’t have. Low level thug Hopscotch (Andrew Hawkes) has the money and is looking to offload the paper for some real currency. Hopscotch isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer so he looks to his good friend and mentor Frankie (Bruce Payne, Re-Kill) to help him out. Frankie is an experienced criminal who knows his way around the underworld and his handy with a gun. Frankie also has what I assume is a counterfeit mop on top of his head masquerading as a wig. Payne excels at playing a guy up to no good, but that hair was no good and only brought me pain. Frankie runs a strip club and many of the meetings with Hopscotch take place there so all is forgiven. Hopscotch has set up a sale of the fake bills to Paco, who is really undercover cop Danny (Mark-Paul Gosselaar.) Danny is setting up the sale at his house when his sister Colleen (Hilary Swank) shows up and he is forced to stash her in the bedroom.
- Kollecting the Kash: When Hopscotch and Frankie show up at Paco/Danny’s house they find two other men already there. Danny thinks they are FBI agents in on the bust, but things soon end up sideways and a firefight takes place and everyone is murdered except Frankie and Hopscotch, who is shot. It is hard to watch the scene because first some of the gunmen must of had what I assume were counterfeit guns because the room was no bigger than a phone booth and Frankie was standing in the middle and nobody could hit him and second THEY FREAKIN’ KILLED ZACK MORRIS! Colleen witness the killings and believes Frankie is the man behind the murder of her brother. She goes to the Danny’s boss Captain Evans (Michael Gross, Tremors 5: Bloodlines) and the detective in charge and former lover Vic (Rob Stewart.) Hopscotch goes to his brother Marty (Corbin Bernsen) to help patch him up.
- Kapturing the Krooks: Colleen doesn’t believe the police are doing enough to find Danny’s killer. If you know anything about action films that should probably send up a red flag in your brain. Colleen sees Frankie snooping around Danny’s house and follows him back to the strip club. Colleen eventually auditions to work at the club in order to get to close to Frankie and I assume the dance instructor for Hilary Swank was a counterfeit because she performs possibly the least erotic dancing ever seen. When Colleen tries to kill Frankie she finds out that Frankie didn’t kill her brother that it was the fake FBI agents who were actually hitmen hired by someone else. I won’t spoil it but there were three other famous actors that were mentioned earlier that may or may not have something to do with the murders. Spoiler alert they do.
Kounterfeit is not the greatest action film ever made and it isn’t the greatest copy of an action film. However, it is enjoyable with enough action scenes and twists and turns to keep the audience interested. And at only 90 minutes there is not any time to be upset. It is never explained why the movie is spelled with a K but I can only assume it was a gimmick to get people to watch. I won’t leave you with any gimmicks or fakes, just some good old fashioned honest Bonus Bullet Points.
- First Film: Kounterfeit was the debut film for Ben Foster. He plays Travis, the wisenheimer neighbor of Marty and he does impersonations that aren’t very good but they make me laugh.
- Dumbest Question: “Ever have sex with a Taser?” I don’t want to know the person who has said yes to that question so that is why you should never even bother asking.
- You Might Want to Rethink That Name. What? Oh, They Did: One of the production companies behind Kounterfeit was Fatal Glimpse Inc. Why would you make a deadly reference to watching something when the whole purpose is for people to see your movie? That must be why Kounterfeit was the only movie produced by Fatal Glimpse Inc.
- Bill’s Kind of Bartender: Bridgette the bartender at the strip club was played by former Miss America Elizabeth Gracen. She was also Miss Arkansas and she has alleged having a one-night stand with the former President and Governor from that state.
- First Film: Kounterfeit was the directorial debut of John Asher who has gone on to direct and act in many things, but I’ll never forget him as Smart Ass Mohawk in Double Dragon.
