Bullet Points: The Cutter

Hypothetical situation… you are at your favorite watering hole and it is “action movie trivia night”. You are asked if you can name the legendary Chuck Norris’ most recent leading man role. Would you have the correct answer? Or would you be like me and think Chuck’s leading man days ended when Walker,Texas Ranger signed off?

It turns out that after Chuck Norris was done dispensing law and order on television for 9 seasons he had one more feature film left in him… 2005’s The Cutter.

• Cutting Edge Aeronautics: As the opening credits roll, we see Dirk (Daniel Bernhardt of Bloodsport II fame) flying on an Ultralight (or Microlight if that is your region’s preference). Dirk has arrived at the site of an archaeological dig in the Sinai Desert, where a group of archaeologists have unearthed a rare breast plate of Biblical proportions and a pair of jewels like no one has ever seen. Dirk may as well have been named Dick, because he sure acted like one. Dirk shows up to the dig and kills everybody and I mean everybody including the lovely mole he had on the inside who tipped him off about the location in the first place.  Dirk then takes the spoils for himself and hops back on his Ultralight.

• A Cut Above: Chuck Norris plays John Shepherd, a former cop and now a private eye who specializes in finding missing persons. When we first see John he is trying to rescue a young girl who has been kidnapped and being held for a two million dollar ransom by some evil Russian dudes. Shepherd is too late when he finally tracks down the girl’s whereabouts, but this doesn’t stop him from kicking some Russian ass. Shepherd takes out all the kidnappers including defenestrating one of them. Shortly there after, the joint task force that was investigating the Russian baddies shows up that includes Special Agent Parks (Todd Jensen of Ninja fame) and an old friend of Shepherd’s from his days on the force, Detective Moore (played by the great Marshall R. Teague of U.S. Seals 2 fame). Parks reads Shepherd the riot act for ruining their investigation, but Shepherd can give two shits, he is too focused on letting down the family of the kidnapped girl. To show you the kind of guy Shepherd is, when the girl’s family goes to pay Shepherd his fee for finding their daughter and at least giving them the opportunity to properly bury her, he refuses the money and instead donates it to the church.

• The Cutter’s Way: While all this is going on Dirk has made his way to the United States (Spokane, Washington to be exact). Dirk is working for Col. Speerman a former Nazi. Speerman wants the rare jewels to be cut so they’ll fit the equally rare breast plate (obviously he picked up Hitler’s obsession of religious artifacts) and he has tasked Dirk to not just find a cutter, but find THE CUTTER *DING*! We get to see Dirk in a variety of disguises as he goes around town looking for a diamond cutter who once was forced to work for the Nazis while he was imprisoned in Auschwitz named Zalman. This diamond cutter perfected a cut that no other diamond cutter in the world was able to do, thus making Zalman the only one who can help our evil doers pull off their evil plan. Dirk eventually finds out that Zalman had changed his name to Isaac Teller when he moved to the United States. Isaac Teller is played by Bernie Kopell, who is most famous for playing Doc on The Love Boat.  After some due diligence, Dirk shows up at Isaac’s door one afternoon and offers Isaac the opportunity to work on some of the rarest jewels the world has ever seen… Isaac can’t turn down an offer like that but it all turns out to be too good to be true and Isaac is having horrific flashbacks as he finds himself once again imprisoned and forced to work for an evil Nazi.

• Cut From The Same Cloth:  Joanna Pacula of Marked for Death fame plays Isaac’s niece, Elizabeth Teller. Elizabeth ends up hiring John Shepherd to track down her missing uncle, despite the fact that the two didn’t have the most amicable first encounter in movie history.  Not one to hold a grudge, Shepherd agrees to help Elizabeth and the two become a team of sorts as they unlock the clues to why Isaac Teller was targeted and where Dirk is holding him. So if you ever were hoping for a Chuck Norris/Joanna Pacula team up… then The Cutter is the movie for you.

It would be totally unfair to compare The Cutter to Chuck Norris’ work in The Way of the Dragon with Bruce Lee or the movies in the prime of his Cannon years including Missing in Action, Invasion U.S.A. and The Delta Force. Chuck Norris was 65 years old when The Cutter was released, so there’s no way a rational person could expect a 65 year old Chuck Norris in 2005 to do what Norris was doing in the 70’s or the 80’s or even the 90’s.

And with that in mind, I thought The Cutter was a decent little action movie. Norris still mixed it up but it was done so in a realistic and believable way. The supporting cast filled with fellow action vets allowed Norris to share some of the load. Props to Daniel Bernhardt, who proved once again his versatility in being able to play either an action hero or action villain.

Now it is time for me to prove once again that reviews on this site are always a little bit better with some Bonus Bullet Points…

• Familiar Faces: You may recognize  the bad guy who was posing as the repairman that attacked Shepherd in his home and later showed up as the limo driver for Col. Speerman as Deron McBee. McBee was Malibu on American Gladiators (one of the worst male Gladiator names in history). He also played Motaro in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and was the star of two of his own action flicks, Time Barbarians and The Killing Zone…  The lovely Tracy Scoggins plays Alena, a cop and friend of John Shepherd. I’ll always remember Scoggins as TV’s original Cat Grant in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, but you may remember her from the Babylon 5 series and movies or the 1984 version of Toy Soldiers.
• Innuendo Filled Quote: When Shepherd is talking to his lawyer/friend Eddie about Alena, Shepherd utters the phrase “Been there. Done that.”
• Maximizing His Minutes: Marshall R. Teague may have had a small supporting role in The Cutter, but there is no denying the man’s presence every time he appears. I especially enjoyed when Teague’s Moore calls Shepherd’s about his defenestration of the Russian a “Die Hard”. Classic Teague!
• Ultra Links: I mentioned the Ultralight aviation scene earlier in this review, but for those of you unfamiliar with this form of aviation I encourage you to click here. And if you are in the mood for other action movies that feature this form of aviation, may I suggest Legion of Iron and American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Chuck Norris and Daniel Bernhardt fight inside a bus, then this is the movie for you!
• Missed Opportunity: How did the marketing people over at Just For Men never tap Chuck Norris to be a spokesperson?