Bullet Points: Marshal Law (1996)
Just because an actor is likeable doesn’t mean that he’ll make for a good action star. I hate to say that is the case with Jimmy Smits but it isn’t far from the truth. With an amazing career playing a detective on NYPD Blue and his time on LA Law and The West Wing, Smits has probably worn more cheap looking suits than any actor in Hollywood but how would he do with finally putting on his asskicking boots and laying the smack down on some punks? Let’s find out…
Synopsis: Not far from the swanky hills of Los Angeles, a new secure and expensive housing expansion has just been built. A massive earthquake opens a path for a psychotic group of convicts to invade the area and put the lives of former Marshall Jack Coleman (Jimmy Smits) and his family at risk. It’s up to Jack and a reluctant sidekick to stop the convicts from killing everyone in the newly christened neighborhood.
- Welcome to Paradise: What do rich people need? A place to live all to themselves. Apparently, that isn’t something that already exists so these dudes build a neighborhood out in the middle of nowhere and hire Jimmy Smits to keep all the Mexican laborers working round the clock. The movie opens with them celebrating the on schedule completion of the work, which is already unrealistic if you’ve ever worked in the construction industry, and quickly evolves into a nightmarish few hours for anyone unlucky enough to be hanging around.
- Pretty Boy Psychos: We’re supposed to believe that Cougar (James Le Gros) and his crazy friends are something to be feared but they look like a bunch of rejects from a Disney audition. They seriously couldn’t have hired a less threatening group of people if they tried. I had to look up the guy’s name because I didn’t remember it minutes after finishing the film. A good action movie can heavily rely on the charisma of the lead character but it can never be great unless the villain can produce a little fear. It’s the biggest mistake in Marshal Law.
- You Call That Security: The entire neighborhood is going to be a gated community but that does jack shit to keep out these escaped convicts. In fact, the morons off a couple of cops before they ever get to the housing area and are never really chased throughout the entire film. By the end of the movie, a few bicycle cops show up like they’re going to do something but this ain’t no Pacific Blue!
- Not That Deadly: Cougar and his friends start killing a few people and other than trashing the new houses, don’t seem to really have a plan. The biggest tension that the movie tries to build is by having Jack’s kids holed up in a panic room while the marauding psychos search through all the homes. It means Jack has very little time to stop them before his kids are found and murdered. Too bad the movie never gives us a good reason to believe that will actually happen. Other than them killing the annoying dude from the beginning, they barely ruin the party.
- Partners?: Jimmy Smits is the best part of the movie, by far. He’s the only character who isn’t an idiot and the only one that acts normal during the movie. Everyone else does some totally illogical shit but Smits decides to go all Liam Neeson on their asses. What you might not have expected is his pseudo-sidekick Weathers. He’s the pizza man who tries to swindle Jack earlier in the film but ends up earning way more than a $2 tip in the end. I would have liked a little more interaction between Jack and Weathers, played by Vonte Sweet, but it only comes about in the final act of the film.
- Stompin’ a Mudhole: When Jimmy Smits finally gets his hands on Cougar, he barely stops himself from beating him to death. Maybe that would have been a better idea than just walking away from his battered body but Jack’s too good of a guy to squeeze the life out of him. It comes back to bite him, of course, when Cougar rides a damned horse in and tries to shoot Jack but TV movies like this rarely end on a bad note and this one is no different.
The Verdict: There isn’t much to see in Marshal Law. It’s a poor Die Hard knockoff that is short on the dying and just hard to watch. I do like Jimmy Smits but he isn’t given enough action to look badass and the bad guys are a bunch of sissies. It’s a shame because I love a good Die Hard ripoff. Skip this one and watch any number of decent ripoffs from that era. Oh wait… it does have Kristy Swanson in it so there’s that!
