Bullet Points: Wolf Creek 2

I am usually not a fan of watching sequels before I watch the original.  There are some exceptions, like the time a good friend of Chris the Brain would not shut up about her love for the 2013 Australian action horror film Wolf Creek 2. I pretty much had no choice in watching, but it turned out to be well worth the 106 minutes watching because Wolf Creek 2 is a gripping ride filled with action, gore, enough swearing to make a sailor blush, and furthers many of the negatives stereotypes of Australians that I enjoy, mainly that they are crazy criminals in the outback with big ‘knoifes’ (but Wolf Creek 2 was made by Australians so they can’t be upset… good on ya, Greg McLean.) You may have a choice, but hopefully you will join me on a down under journey to Wolf Creek 2.

• Second Verse, Same as the First – Wolf Creek 2, like the original, follows the exploits of crazed Australian serial killer Mick Taylor played to perfection by John Jarratt.  We are introduced to Mick when a couple of Aussie coppers pull over Mick, not because he is speeding, but because they are bored and like messing with people and keeping up the quotas. This was their first… and last mistake. We get to witness a cop driving a car after getting his head completely blown off and his partner getting burned alive after getting a knoife to the back. I should let you know before I continue that if you watch Wolf Creek 2 and find this first scene too gruesome you are better off not watching the rest.

• Achtung, Baby – Two German hitchhikers, Rutger and Katrina, are making their way from Sydney to the Australian outback. Thankfully, Wolf Creek 2 gives the audience a hitchhiking montage because all we need to see is the exciting bits and who doesn’t love a montage. The pair make it all the way to Wolf Creek Crater, a real life crater located in western Australia that is now off my Australian travel itinerary. Finding no luck getting a ride they decide to camp out. This was their first… and last mistake. Everyone’s favorite outback killer, Mick Taylor, comes across the campers and quickly stabs Rutger and ties up Katrina looking for his own down under adventure. Rutger isn’t dead and interrupts Mick and summarily gets his head chopped off for his trouble. With Katrina knocked out we get to witness Mick cutting Rutger into pieces (while Patsy Cline’s “I Fall to Pieces” is playing… clever.) Katrina is able to escape why Mick is having way to much fun dismembering Rutger.

• Pommy C**nt – British traveler Paul (Ryan Corr) nearly runs over Katrina while she is escaping and he ignores the first rule of the outback, “never, ever stop.” That was Paul’s first… and spoiler alert it won’t be his last, but he still ends up a loser (watch Wolf Creek 2 if you don’t get the reference.) Mick is none too happy with Paul taking Katrina away because he has some fun and games planned with her, at least Mick thinks it will be fun. This begins the action packed crazy hunt of Paul by Mick, spoiler alert we lose Katrina along the way thanks to one of the least chivalrous acts by Paul. We also lose two old-timers that we barely met so forget about them. Once Paul is captured the film takes a turn towards mild torture porn, but Paul’s limericks, the “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” duet, and the quiz game Aussie History make up for the blood, finger grinding, deadfall, and all around gore if you are feeling a little queasy. The ending, along with most of the other outcomes in Wolf Creek 2 is hard to predict but does not feel forced or gimmicky.

Wolf Creek 2 fits very well into both action and horror movie categories. Action fans will get a kick out of the car, semi, and horseback chases. There is enough knoifeplay and gunplay to keep weapons enthusiasts enthused and we also get to see cars and trucks exploding. Horror fans, and especially those that prefer practical effects, will enjoy the copious amounts of blood and guts. The performances are what really puts Wolf Creek 2 over the top. Ryan Corr shows why some think he is one of Australia’s finest young actors.  However, as good as Ryan Corr is John Jarratt as Mick Taylor is even better. It is a rare movie that can make a murdering, swearing, drinking psychopath a character that you end up rooting for… or maybe that is just me and I am as crazy as Australians. Either way, Mick Taylor lives on with both a Wolf Creek television series and 3rd installment of the film franchise. The Wolf Creek 2 Bullet Points live on with some Bonus Bullet Points.

• Best Mick Taylor Simile – “Dry as a nun’s nasty.”
• Sorry, Skippy – Kangaroos are some weird looking animals which is why I didn’t feel too bad getting enjoyment while watching kangaroos getting blasted and run over by a semi-truck.
• Soundtrack – Wolf Creek 2 has a small but surprisingly good soundtrack with the Steppenwolf “Born to be Wild” hitchhiking montage and The Tokens “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” kangaroos getting slaughtered scene as two highlights.
• Best Way to Tell if You’re Dealing with a Pommy – The person is weak as piss.
• If You Ever… wanted to see a German man getting his bratwurst chopped off with a crazy Australian wondering if the kraut was “part bloody donkey” then Wolf Creek 2 is for you.
• Quote Most Likely to be a Sign in an Australian Airport – “Welcome to Australia, cocksucker.”
• Best Drinking Toast – “Here’s looking up ya bum.”