Bullet Points: Ninja in the Dragon’s Den
Does love at first sight really exist? This topic has been debated forever. There have even been scientific studies surrounding “love at first sight”, but I had all the proof I needed that love at first sight existed after watching the 1982 film, Ninja in the Dragon’s Den.
I loved the movie from the very start with a group of ninjas popping out of the sand to kick off a ninja training montage that played under the opening credits. All the while the Alfred Chen Singers belted out the epic tune “The Legend of the Ninja”. But Ninja in the Dragon’s Den did more than make a good first impression thanks to some interesting characters, inventive action like I had never seen before, great music and one memorable line after the other providing an element of comedy to the action packed proceedings.
- Enter the Dragon: When we first see Jay (Conan Lee, Eliminators) he is doing some impressive rope based exercises to show off his athleticism and core strength… in fact if Jay has one flaw it is that he is a show off. Jay is an exceptional martial artist and he wants the world to know it. With that in mind it is no surprise that Jay gets into a very public fight at a local festival. Jay goes to the festival with his perverted friend Charlie (Tai-Bo, Police Story), who spends most of his free time reading dirty books and drawing dirty pictures. While at the festival, Jay takes exception to some performers on stilts reenacting the story of the mythological Eight Immortals… when one of the performers decides to go into business for himself and veer away from the story as everyone knows it, Jay calls him out and what follows is some mind blowing action with Jay and his opponent running, jumping, flipping and kicking all with stilts on! …A similar situation would happen later while Jay was hanging out at a local establishment where Master Leong was demonstrating his “God Powers” to those on hand. Jay called bullshit on the whole thing, which led to Jay and Master Leong getting into fight that left Master Leong looking like an absolute fool. An embarrassed Leong would warn Jay that his father, the man who taught Leong the “God Powers”, would come for revenge!
- Enter the Ninja: Jen Moo (Hiroyuki Sanada, Rush Hour 3) is a rogue ninja from Japan, who travels to China with his wife Akane, to find and kill the man he believed killed his father. The man that Jen Moo believes killed his father just so happens to be Jay’s uncle, Uncle Lee. With Jen Moo trying to kill his uncle, this opens up the door for some Jay vs. Jen Moo action and we get plenty of it. The battle between Jay and Jen Moo almost becomes the Hong Kong version of Itchy and Scratchy show as they fight, they fight, they fight, they fight, they fight using ninja tricks, booby traps and their martial arts prowess to best the other.. but nobody ever comes out on top.
- The Truth of the Matter: After several attempts on his life by Jen Moo are thwarted by his nephew Jay, Uncle Lee drinks some poison and then goes to clear the air with Jen Moo before he dies. Lee reveals that he did not kill Jen Moo’s father and that Jen Moo’s father was actually his best friend but after a battle that left Jen Moo’s father dead, Lee took the cowardly way out and went into hiding instead of accepting defeat like a true ninja. This leads to a pretty emotional scene between Lee and Jen Moo, with Lee pleading with Jen Moo to kill him and put him out of his misery… and who happens upon the scene just as Jen Moo chops off Uncle Lee’s head… you guessed it.. Jay! And the fight between are two warriors is on all over again with Jen Moo trying to no avail to explain the situation, but Jay having none of it.
- Come Together: The fight eventually spills out to the balcony of the tower that Jay calls home and both men find themselves hanging precariously off the tower about to meet certain doom. And it is at this point Jay notices that both men are wearing half of Uncle Lee’s “Smiling Buddah” pendant around their necks. Jay finally accepts the fact that his Uncle wanted he and Jen Moo to be brothers and together they save themselves and avoid plunging to their deaths and none too soon… because Master Leong’s father shows up with his army of disciples looking to get revenge!
This sets up a final battle that encapsulates all that is great about Ninja in the Dragon’s Den with one major difference, we are finally getting to see Jay and Jen Moo team up to take on (and slice up) an assortment of interesting characters. One of Charlie’s sex books and two of Akane’s breasts even get involved in the final battle, because as Charlie so eloquently put it…
“You can do battle with your strength. You can do battle with your wits. But no weapon can beat a great pair of tits!”
For more memorable quotes from the film, check out the Bonus Bullet Points section…
- Name That Tune: The movie features some of John Williams’ music from Raiders of the Lost Ark and some of Jimmy Page’s music from Death Wish II.
- Favorite Insult #1: “You ugly stinking skunk fucker!”
- Disturbing Quote #1: “When I get a little practice, I’ll cut your balls off!”
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Conan Lee light another man’s ass on fire, then this is the movie for you.
- Favorite Insult #2: “If you keep falling on your ass like that, you’ll suffer brain damage.”
- Disturbing Quote #2: “When I get through with you, your balls are going to be so swollen you’ll get flat footed carrying them.”
- Directed By: Ninja in the Dragon’s Den was the second film directed by Cory Yuen. Yuen would go on to direct No Retreat, No Surrender, Above the Law, No Retreat, No Surrender 2 and The Avenging Fist.
