Bullet Points: Stickfighter
What would you say if I told you I was about to review Kely McClung’s first starring role in 1994’s Stickfighter?
I would guess that 99.9% of you would say, “Who in the hell is Kely McClung?”
McClung entered the world of action movies after gaining some notoriety in the martial arts realm when he won the Full Contact Stick-Fighting World Championship. McClung made his acting debut with a supporting role in American Ninja 4: The Annihilation… four years later he would both write and star in Stickfighter!
- Stick it to the Man: The action starts almost immediately with John Lambert (Kelly McClung) and Alex Cartegenas, two cops with the DEA, storming an apartment, looking to make a major drug bust. There is no doubt that Lambert and Cartegenas kicked down the right door, as we see a guy cutting up some China White right on the coffee table and bad guys making time with bad girls in the background. Lambert and Cartegenas tell everybody to freeze, but before our two cops know it a bad guy with a shotgun shows up looking to protect his inventory. Lambert and Cartegenas open fire and bad guys start dying. When the shooting stops, Cartegenas searches the rest of the apartment and finds a suitcase filled with heroin… Cartegenas also finds himself DEAD after a second bad guy with a shotgun shows up from outta nowhere and blows Cartegenas away before taking off… Lambert is in shock, his partner is dead right in front of him and that is about the time his DEA boss shows up with a couple of uniformed officers and he’s asking Lambert if he read the drug dealing scum their rights (more on that later). An offended Lambert tells off his boss, his boss then informs him he is suspended without pay… Lambert does him one better and quits right on the spot!
- Sticky Situation: The first guy with the shotgun that was killed during the drug bust was the son of Los Angeles’ drug kingpin, Dirk Riley (Karl Johnson, White Ghost) and now Riley is out for revenge. Riley has put out a contract on John Lambert and for some inexplicable reason, the sister of Alex Cartegenas, Luella. John and Luella end up meeting after there is a failed attempt on John’s life in the lobby of the hotel he was staying at. A good chunk of the movie is spent with John and Luella on the run from the men looking to collect the price on their heads, giving our hero plenty of time to kick ass… much to the chagrin of local law enforcement, who have to deal with the fallout of John’s one man war. John and Luella eventually find safe haven in the apartment that is above the strip club owned by Mule (James Mitchum) an old friend of John’s father. This whole experience has thrust John and Luella together, so it probably should be no surprise that they succumb to their hormones and make sweet love in their apartment hideout. While this is going on, Riley’s right hand man Tucker is downstairs with some heavies interrogating Mule and the dancers that work at the strip club on the whereabouts of John and Luella… when Mule and his employees don’t cooperate they are shot. Thanks to the suppressors on the guns and Luella’s moans of passion, John is completely oblivious to it all… until it is too late. It is at that moment that John decides he is not going to run anymore, instead he is going to take the fight to Riley!
- Stick a Fork In Him, He’s Done: The big finale takes place in an abandoned building with badass John Lambert going it all on his own and having to deal with Riley, his right hand man Tucker, Riley’s other son Avro (the second guy with a shotgun who shot Alex Cartegenas at the beginning of the movie) and a small army of mercenaries. This is where Stickfighter goes into video game mode as Lambert disposes of the no name mercs pretty easily, and then has an increasing level of difficulty when he has to square off against Tucker and Avro… but instead of a big battle between John Lambert and Dirk Riley to cap things off… Riley runs off like a little bitch and hops in a car and drives towards one of the open bays in the building’s loading dock. I questioned why one of the dock doors was opened in an abandoned building, but that question was soon erased when the car inexplicably rides up an ill placed ramp and ends up upside down and outside of the loading dock with Dirk Riley trapped inside… John Lambert then does what any hero would do in this situation… he shoots Riley, confirms he is dead and then slowly walks away from the car (a car that is on fire in the close shot, but not on fire in the wide shot) as it blows up.
Stickfighter was not the worst movie I have ever seen, but I am not sure I could classify it as a great movie either. It is the type of movie I would only suggest to the most die hard DTV action movie lovers.
In Stickfighter’s defense, it felt like the movie was well aware of the fact that it wasn’t a great movie. In fact it felt like the decision was made to work in as much female nudity as possible to distract the audience from the plot holes, an action hero that was still greener than goose shit (although he did have some of the best 90’s hair I’ve ever seen) and the disturbing lack of stickfighting for a movie called Stickfighter and starring a guy whose claim to fame at that point was stickfighting!
There are topless bathing beauties around Dirk Riley’s swimming pool, there are the dancers at the strip club and even our main female protagonist, Luella Cartegenas bares all on more than one occasion. Knowing the audience for these types of movies is male dominated, it would make sense to keep a steady stream of boobs so that male audience would stick around.
And you should probably stick around for these Bonus Bullet Points, where I highlight some more positives that made Stickfighter worth watching…
- Familiar Face: Riley’s right hand man James Tucker was played by Jeff Celentano (or as he was credited in Stickfighter, Jeff Weston). Cannon fans will recognize Celentano as Wild Bill from the classic, American Ninja 2: The Confrontation.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Kely McClung turn another man into a human sled and ride him down a flight of stairs, then this is the movie for you.
- Miranda Rights: James Lambert had his own unique take on the Miranda Rights… “You have the right to remain silent! Anything you have, can be and will be used against you! You have the right to seek medical assistance. If you can’t afford it, medical assistance will be provided to you!”
- Renaissance Man: Aside from his athletic ability and his continued work in the movies, Kely McClung is an artist and photographer and he has had drawings and photographs appear in various exhibits around the country.
- Favorite Quote: “Later, dick wad!” – John Lambert
