Bullet Points: Columbus Day
Sometimes a movie title is so money and it doesn’t even know it. Columbus Day is celebrated in many countries in the Americas to remember Christopher Columbus’s arrival way back in 1492. Looking back, many people are none too happy with the colonization, slavery, genocide and all around nasty treatment of the indigenous populace by Columbus and his crew. Many places have nixed Columbus Day altogether or changed the meaning of the day to celebrate native and indigenous people. It reminds me of the trouble around the 2008 crime thriller Columbus Day. Writer/director Charles Burmeister put together an award winning script, excellent cast and filmed his movie, only purportedly for producer Elie Samaha to recut with more action. Allegedly Burmeister and some of the cast have since rejected these changes… Columbus can’t catch a break! It is shame we don’t have a Charles Burmeister cut for home video (Mercury Plains proves he knows what he is doing) but I can’t complain about more action so take the day off and join me on a journey to Columbus Day.
- Holiday, Celebrate – Columbus Day tells the aftermath of the biggest heist of John Cologne’s career. At first we don’t get to see Johnny (Val Kilmer) pull off the heist as he is laying low in Echo Park, Los Angeles. Flashbacks throughout the film fill in the details and are perfect to keep the audience guessing as to how and why things are happening. What things are happening to Johnny? Evading some nefarious dudes who want Johnny’s ill-gotten gains, managing his troubled partner Manny who helped in the heist, dealing with his girlfriend Cheryl who is in some hot water of her own, trying to reconcile with his ex-wife Alice and his daughter Alana who both don’t want much to do with him, getting Max the fence to help move his loot, and going around the park with precocious grade schooler Antoine. Columbus Day really shows how one man can make a difference in lots of lives all flavored with the backdrop of a heist.
- It’s Time for the Good Times – What really helps the story move along in Columbus Day is the cast, which is surprising because not all of the interactions were face to face, with Johnny making lots of phone calls on his cell phone and from a phone booth. As an aside, I know Columbus Day was first released in 2008, but I don’t know if any old school phone booths would still be in use and where was he keeping all those quarters. It wasn’t meant to be set in the past because of the contemporary cars driven. Having said that, I like the use of the phone booth as an artistic choice. Some of the standout performances, besides Val Kilmer natch, include Richard Edson as Manny (bad things happen when Edson gets around cars,) Ivana Milicevic (Banshee) as Cheryl, Marg Helgenberger going almost full sad-sack as Alice, Growing Pains’ own Ashley Johnson as Alana, and Fez himself Wilmer Valderrama as Max in a brief role… err… I mean a role in his briefs… err… I mean he is in the movie.
- One Day to Come Together – You might think that getting all that talent in one place is impressive, but don’t forget about the phone calls as most characters never share any actual screen time together. The highlight of the cast has to be Bobb’e J. Thompson as Antoine. Johnny and Antoine share the most scenes together and build a real father son relationship, or as much of a father son relationship that can be built over the course of particular Columbus Day in Los Angeles. And while it is a little creepy for someone Johnny’s age to be hanging out with a little kid he just met, the writing and acting allow the film to come across completely natural.
When a movie opens with a man shooting another man, like Johnny does, but you end up rooting for him, you know you are watching an engaging movie. Johnny does shoot a man, but forgoes the chance to kill him even at the risk to his own safety. Without an engaging well written Johnny, we as the audience would be waiting for him to get his comeuppance instead of the other way around. Columbus Day does an excellent job of wrapping up the different storylines Johnny is dealing with and does it with quite a bit of tension (and quite smartly to boot.) The film overall might be light on extended action scenes (but I did enjoy a garbage truck being used as an escape vehicle) and heavy on dialogue, but that is where Columbus Day shines. The script and actors are what make Columbus Day the type of movie perfect to watch on a day off from work. Bonus Bullet Points are what make the perfect ending to the Columbus Day Bullet Points.
- “What’s in the Box?!?!” – We never learn what is in the case that Johnny steals, which doesn’t hurt the movie at all because the item is not important to Johnny’s journey and it leaves mystery involved with the story. But if I had to guess I would say that inside of the case is a MacGuffin.
- Real Life Quote That Somehow Made the Script – Wilmer Valderrama’s Max bemoans, “I can’t drop a deuce in an hour.”
- If You Ever… wanted to see Val Kilmer talk on a cell phone while in a paddle boat with Bobb’e J. Thompson, than Columbus Day is for you.
- Best Ass Quote – “Hardline for biz-nass. Cell phone for piece of ass.” Learn in and live it, people… if you can find a hardline phone.
- Out of Context Ass Quote – “You picked my ass.”
- Familiar Faces – I don’t want to forget the underrated Jack McGee (Basic Instinct) as Paul the Pigeon Man and Lobo Sebastian as Jimmy Espinosa whom I always remember from Next Friday.
- Missed Opportunity – Columbus Day missed a great opportunity to name a character Christopher… or Nina…. or Maria…
