Movie Kumite: Hercules vs. Hercules in New York

The Movie Kumite has been the battleground for some pretty monumental movie melees but this time around we have a true clash of the titans as two Hollywood heavyweights, Lou Ferrigno and Arnold Schwarzenegger, engage in a herculean battle!

Ferrigno, who rose to fame as TV’s Incredible Hulk, was perfectly cast as Hercules in Cannon’s 1983 film. Schwarzenegger (who was following in the footsteps of one his bodybuilding heroes, Steve Reeves) was also perfectly cast as Hercules in 1970’s Hercules in New York.  But the question remains, which of these two imperfect Hercules movies is going to win this edition of the Movie Kumite?

THE HEROES

It is interesting that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lou Ferrigno both played the legendary character Hercules in their feature film debuts. But who was the better Hercules between the two?

Neither man wowed anyone with their acting ability in these movies. Their ability to read their lines with the necessary emotion and inflection was so much in question, that both had their voices dubbed over. (Although years later Hercules in New York would be released featuring Arnold’s original dialogue). So we are going to have to judge this one based solely on each man’s appearance. There is no question that two former competitive bodybuilders look the part of Hercules, but I don’t think I am qualified to judge who had the better physique… but you know who was qualified, the guys that judged the 1975 Mr. Olympia where Arnold Schwarzenegger defeated Lou Ferrigno!

HERCULES – 0     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 1

THE WOMEN

Both movies in our Herculean battle feature some beautiful women.Helen Camden in Hercules in New York had the whole girl next door thing going for her and while charming, it was not enough to overcome the pure lust one could feel for the evil Adriana, played by “The Queen of the B Movies” Sybil Danning. Danning commanded the audience’s attention with an outfit that nearly busted the constraints of a PG rated movie.

HERCULES – 1     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 1

THE BEARS

Hercules in New York features a ridiculous scene where Hercules and Helen are taking a romantic carriage ride through Central Park, when they encounter an escaped bear from the nearby zoo. Hercules hops out of the carriage and starts punching the bear and using some of his professional wrestling skills while Helen screams damsel in distress style.

Hercules takes the bear battle to a whole other level. Hercules battles a bear in the woods, but when it is all said and done he manages to giant swing the bear into outer space and the bear turns into a constellation! When it comes to bodybuilders taking on guys in bear suits, the scene in Hercules is quite simply out of this world awesome!

HERCULES – 2     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 1

THE MUSIC

1983’s Hercules featured music composed by Pino Donaggio. The score is exactly what you’d expect from an accomplished composer like Donaggio for a fantasy based film. But in all honesty, I did not find the music to be anything special. The music in Hercules in New York on the other hand was written by one time composer, John Balamos. Balamos’ positively Greek music is intoxicating! It is unique and pairs well with the unique take that Hercules in New York has on the classic character.

HERCULES – 2     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 2

THE CRITICS

We may be looking at some of the lowest critic scores in Movie Kumite history with two B movies featuring bodybuilders turned actors but as always it is time we consult two of the most respected movie related sites on the world wide web, IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes…

Hercules in New York has an average rating of 3.2, while Hercules has an average rating of 3.8 on IMDb.

Over on Rotten Tomatoes, Hercules has an average rating of 26%, while Hercules in New York has an average rating of 27%.

And the critic points are split…

HERCULES – 3     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 3

SIDEKICK BONUS ROUND

It is not uncommon for heroes to have sidekicks. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Hercules was blessed by one of the greatest sidekicks in cinematic history… Pretzie. Played by Arnold Stang, Pretzie got his name because he sold pretzels on the waterfront and that job allowed him to be at the right place, at the right time when Hercules jumped ship and arrived in New York City.

Lou Ferrigno’s Hercules didn’t complete his adventure entirely on his own, but there is no one person from that movie that I would consider a proper sidekick, so this is one category that Hercules in New York easily wins… and proof how integral a quality sidekick can be to a movie and a Movie Kumite!

FINAL SCORE: HERCULES – 3     HERCULES IN NEW YORK – 4