Bullet Points: Supervan
The 1970s were a great time to be alive if you were into pop culture crazes. Disco music is probably the most famous, but there is one fad that I find more memorable (and makes for a better action movie.) Fads are usually defined as having a short life span, think about pet rocks and bell bottoms, but there is one fad that is still going strong with no signs of receding (and makes for a better action movie.) So what is this craze that is both memorable and long lasting? Honestly, if you haven’t guessed it by the title of the movie and feature picture I envy your naiveté. Vanning is the love of vans, usually by customizing them with tricked out paint jobs (murals are always appreciated) and lavish interiors. If you don’t understand, you probably have never owned a van (but you 2% ers know what I am talking about.) If you still need a little convincing about vanning, I just happen to have some Bullet Points for the 1977 action film Supervan that expertly shows van culture while simultaneously being entertaining as all get out. Buckle up as we are riding high with Supervan.
- More Like Clint MorVan – Clint Morgan (Mark Schneider) is a young man that is not happy with his life and job at the family gas station in the middle of nowhere Missouri. The only real way to get out is not by going to college, or enlisting in the military, or even joining the Peace Corps, it is by winning the $5,000 top prize at the 2nd Annual Non-National Bicentennial Invitational Freakout sponsored by Mid American Motors. Clint has his beloved van, known as the Sea Witch with his good luck brodie knob that features an eye-patch wearing lady pirate. Clint likes to rub his knob for good luck, but be careful rubbing your knob while driving as you might end up with a couple of wheels on the grass and smokey on your ass.
- Vantastic Voyage – While on his way to the Freakout, Clint overhears some bikers attempting to rape a woman at a junkyard. You might be wondering how Clint would be able to hear this attempted rape while cruising in his van. Obviously, the bikers have a play-by-play man broadcasting the lurid details over CB radio. This leads to an excellent junkyard chase scene with motorcycles chasing the Sea Witch. As an aside, I love the potential action that a junkyard can provide for chase, particularly when a car crusher is involved just like in Supervan. With the Sea Witch now 86’d, Clint’s hopes of winning the Freakout are flattened, but he and the woman he saved, Karen (Katie Saylor,) continue on his journey with the next stop meeting Clint’s car genius friend Boseley.
- Van Wilder – Boseley works for Mid American Motors and was supposed to be designing a gas guzzling van for Mid American Motors owner T.B. Trenton. See, Trenton also owns Mid American Oil and has a vested interest in poor fuel economy. Boseley secretly was building Vandora the Supervan, a solar powered laser shooting van that Boseley gives to Clint so he can win the Freakout and Boseley can get the credit for designing the revolutionary vehicle. Of course, Trenton doesn’t want a solar powered vehicle getting out to the press so you better believe the chase is on with Trenton, the local cops (with one of the cops played by Uncle Leo himself, Len Lesser,) the vile vanner Vince and his van Gunrunner hired by Trenton, and you better believe the bikers come back for revenge. It is also a good time to mention that Karen just happens to be Karen Trenton, the daughter of T.B. Trenton.
- Happy Vanning – All the action comes to a head right before the finals of the freakout. I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you think a movie about vanners called Supervan is not going to finish with a happy ending, than I doubly envy your naiveté. Although, even the bad guys really end up getting lucky too, so it is a win/win for everyone. The final chase doubles down on the action as we see cars flipping over, cars driving wildly down hills and even cars blowing up. Van lovers will probably love the mud hill climb as much as I did. Now if Clint can only explain how the lowly sum of $5,000 will change his life.
Supervan is not a hyperbolic title. Vandora is a van that is super, and the viewing experience is downright groovy. The extended scenes of the customized vans, colorful CB language and vanners flat out having a good time is what makes it so much fun and the action really picks up towards the big finale. Supervan is a must watch for anyone into vanning, but don’t let the fact that you are not down with van culture stop you from watching. Likewise, don’t let the fact that the Supervan Bullet Points are over stop you from enjoying some Bonus Bullet Points.
- King of the Customizers – Vandora aka Supervan, was designed by legendary car designer George Barris. You might recognize some of the other Barris designed Hollywood automobile heavyweights like the 1966 Batmobile and the Munster Koach. Barris had a small role in Supervan as himself.
- Sold! – A 1966 Dodge Tradesman A-100 was the base platform for Vandora and the restored original on screen van was recently sold at a 2016 Barrett- Jackson auction for over $62,000.
- If You Ever… Wanted to see the Hulk smoke an unknown substance with Spock, then Supervan is for you.
- Soundtraxx – The songs in Supervan are part of a soundtrack that makes one wish that it was available on 8-track so I can listen on my Panasonic CX-601EU Quadraphonic 8-Track tape player.
- Best Insult That Probably Wouldn’t Be In a Film Today – “You look like you are running for president of the child molester’s society.”
- No Relation – Vandora is not related to the Ford Supervan which was an equally awesome van, although I was always partial to Ford’s Supervan 2.
- Word Up! – Supervan features one of the strangest cameos on film as poet and author Charles Bukowski has a small role during a wet t-shirt contest. You might best remember Charles Bukowski for the semi-autobiographical Cannon film he wrote, Barfly.
