What Not To Watch: Repo Jake

Having watched and reviewed countless movies from the PM Entertainment library over the years, I can honestly say I have never felt like I was scraping the bottom of the PM Entertainment barrel until the night I watched 1990’s Repo Jake starring Dan Haggerty.

Dan Haggerty is probably best known for his role as James “Grizzly” Adams on the television series, The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams. I can honestly I have never had a desire to watch the show and after watching Repo Jake, I have even less desire to watch the show, something I was not sure was even possible.

• Welcome to Lala Land: Haggerty plays Jake Baxter, a guy from Minnesota (home of the Minnesota Vikings) who finds himself in Los Angeles looking for work as a repo agent. Why is a guy from Minnesota looking for work as a repo agent in California? Well, the bank is going to foreclose on Jake’s business back home unless he can come up with $60,000 and there’s damn good money to be made in the repo business in California. Still, I can’t help but think Jake should have checked to see if Prince needed another bodyguard or if the Verne Gagne was hiring before he decided to move to one of the most expensive places to live in the United States. Shortly after getting off the bus in Los Angeles, Jake manages to neutralize a purse snatcher and return the purse to its rightful owner, Jenny (Dana Bentley). This act of bravery starts a domino effect as Jake soon finds himself renting an apartment in Jenny’s building and the building’s landlord (who seems to only want single men renting her apartments) points Jake in the direction of the nearest repo lot… because who doesn’t know where the nearest repo lots are in their area!?

• Love Story: Let’s talk some more about Jenny… I get that Jenny would be grateful that Jake was able to get her purse back her, but the wannabe actress/plant store employee falls hard for Jake Baxter. Jenny shows genuine concern that this burly man she just met has taken a dangerous repo agent job, even though he proved he could more than handle himself (you know the whole reason she has fallen head over heels for Jake in the first place). We even get one of the most awkward first dates in history when Jenny invites Jake to her apartment for dinner… I am still confused if the meal was delicious or garbage. But not as confused as I was about the entire Jake/Jenny relationship. I get that it is customary that a “leading man” has a “leading lady”, but this relationship felt forced and was completely unrealistic. At least the friendships Jake cultivates at his new job seemed more organic… Jake becomes fast friends with his fellow repo men because who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy named Skidmark?

• Second Rate: To recap, Jake Baxter stops a purse snatcher and gets involved in an awkward relationship as a result. Then Jake gets the unpopular job as repo man and all of this is supposed to make him an “action hero” in our eyes?! Well, if Jake Baxter is an action hero, he is a second rate action hero at best, so it only stands to reason that he has a second rate “action villain” to oppose him. And who better to fill the role of second rate villain than Robert Axelrod (Beyond Fear). Axelrod plays a guy named Lincoln King, but he is far from the guy sitting on the criminal throne, Lincoln King is nothing more than a nickel and dime crook.. Lincoln King’s main job is to produce porn flicks for his boss, but King often slacks off at his job so he can gamble over at the Saugus Speedway (a habit his employer is none too happy about). King’s gambling debts are probably the reason he can’t make his car payments and the reason Lincoln King and Jake Baxter become acquainted with one another.

• Need for Speed: After Jake repossess his car, Lincoln King is out for revenge so he goes after Jenny and uses her as bait to deliver an ultimatum to Jake… either he wins the Slam Track Championship or else! I am not sure how King knew about Jake’s relationship with Jenny, but it does make sense that King would get wind that Jake had agreed to fill in for his injured repo buddy, Blondie, in the illegal underground car race known as the Slam Track. I say it makes sense because the Slam Track Championship was being held at King’s favorite spot on the planet, the Saugus Speedway. But usually in scenarios like these, the villain (who wants to bet on a sure thing) asks the hero to take a dive… but Lincoln King does the exact opposite of what a competent villain would do.

I wish I could point to one thing that could be blamed for Repo Jake not working, but to be honest everything seemed a little off… the casting decisions, the motivation of the characters, the lack of logic through out the entire 86 minute runtime, even the overall tone of the movie was off… it felt like an action comedy that decided not to be funny right before shooting. Like I said in my intro, Repo Jake was scraping the bottom of the PM Entertainment barrel.

Let’s see if I can scrape up some Bonus Bullet Points…

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Dan Haggerty riding on top of a hood of a moving car, then Repo Jake is the movie for you.
• The Joker: The garage that Jake works at had an assortment of colorful characters including an old timer named Amos (Carme Filipi), who when he wasn’t repairing cars was busy laughing at his own seeing eye dog jokes.
• The Bronson Connection: Robert Axelrod was featured in small roles in three Charles Bronson movies… Murphy’s Law, Assassination and  Death Wish 4: The Crackdown. When it comes to Axelrod, I have found that less is more.
• Questionable Footwear: I did not understand why Jake showed up from Minnesota wearing a pair of loafers with white socks. It was like he was a lumberjack on top and the Michael Jackson on the bottom. Had Jake moonwalked at some point, the loafers would have made sense and the movie would have been exponentially better.
• Repo Jake Challenge: If anybody is going to the Santa Clarita Swap Meet (held at the famed Saugus Speedway every Sunday and Tuesday, rain or shine) see if you can track down a copy of Repo Jake… you’ll probably want to throw it out after you bought it, but how cool would it be to buy the movie at the very location  much of the movie was filmed at.