Bullet Points: Crocodile 2: Death Roll
Sometimes all you need to do is read the synopsis for a movie and you’ll know if it’s for you. That’s how I felt with Crocodile 2. Ever since I watched Predator as a kid I knew I had to see every possible version of that on screen; people being stalked through the jungle by a giant snake, a massive jungle cat, a sasquatch, and hell, why not an enormous crocodile. Give me a survivor story in any setting with folks being hunted by something and I will offer you 90 minutes of my time.
Synopsis: A group of bank robbers cause their plane to crash over a massive swamp on their way to Mexico. They gather up the survivors and make their way towards freedom but they soon find themselves being stalked by a monster crocodile. One by one, they become tasty snacks for the creature.
- Gimme Yo Money: The movie opens in an unexpected way with a group of men robbing a bank. I don’t know where this scene was filmed but it sure doesn’t look like it was in Arizona as it was meant to be. It’s actually kind of a cool scene. They end up having to shoot their way out of the bank and we get our first opportunity at some gunfire and breaking glass. A solid start, I must say.
- You Boys Like Mexico?: We’re next introduced to the lovely Mia (Heidi Lenhart) as she discusses meeting up with her boyfriend in Acapulco after her next flight. She’s a flight attendant and it appears that her and her man are going to give it one last try. I wonder if she’ll make it to Mexico without issue? It just so happens that those same bank robbers are hitching a ride on Mia’s plane.
- So Much for our Getaway: Those robbers are some serious dumbasses. First of all, they walk through the airport looking like someone spliced together the costumes from The Matrix with something from a 50’s greaser movie. They also sneak huge cases full of money and a bunch of guns onto the plane with them. They are definitely a crew of guys that you’ll look forward to seeing get eaten. Don’t worry, though. These geniuses end up shooting up the plane and cause the damn thing to crash over the swamp.
- Momma Croc Ain’t Happy: The survivors limp away from the crash but barely get a few feet when one of them gets bitten in half by a crocodile. They blast it and leave it belly up in the water but what they don’t know is that momma croc is going to find it and be super pissed. Think crocodile Liam Neeson.
- One Sneaky Crocodile: The rest of the movie is essentially the survivors sloshing through the swamp, having terrible dialogue with one another, and waiting for the croc to eat them all. Most of the deaths are when they get snuck up on, which should be much harder to do when the thing chasing them is the size of a small bus.
- Martin Kove to the Rescue: Living legend Martin Kove drunkenly agrees to fly Mia’s BF over the swamp to find the downed plane. The movie probably needed it more than the actual survivors of the crash. The film drags pretty badly as they trudge through the marsh getting eaten one by one. Kove and his new buddy finally show up and give us a reason to believe that someone will make it out alive. Kove instantly becomes the most interesting character in the movie.
- Get Me Outta Here: Are you seriously still reading this?? The movie lacks any really interesting characters so you’ll mostly be along for the ride just to see the asshole robbers get eaten. The finale is explosive…I’ve never seen water explode the way it does in Crocodile 2!
The Verdict: Crocodile 2: Death Roll or Crocodile 2: Death Swamp. No matter what the name reads on the title, the movie is not a good one. There are moments that I enjoyed. The practical effects look so much better than the non-practical ones that I mostly just wanted close-up shots of that fake croc that they had. Martin Kove was cool but he wasn’t in it long enough to bring the movie from “sub-par” to “not good”. There are better crocodile movies out there and you should probably exhaust all the other options before you jump on with Crocodile 2.
