Bullet Points: Leviathan (1989)

The people have spoken and they want more Peter Weller. They’re probably saying the same things about Ernie Hudson so I think I found the jackpot with Leviathan. While it has no connection to them, it feels like the offspring of John Carpenter and Ridley Scott. It’s that magical area where Deepstar Six almost went but didn’t quite make it. If you were a kid walking around the video stores in the early 90’s you’ll be very familiar with this one because movies like these really had a way of drawing you in.

Synopsis: An American deep-sea mining colony stumbles upon a sunken Soviet vessel hiding a horrific secret.

• What’s the story: The post-Alien days saw a great many movies attempt to be the next Alien. It was essentially the Die Hard before it came around and shook up the landscape of action cinema. By the time Leviathan was being made, we were already getting the creature movie knockoffs in different locations; creature in space, creature on a ship, and the obvious creature in the ocean. Gotta love the originality of Hollywood.
• George P. is the man: Leviathan is directed by George P. Cosmatos. Don’t know who that is? Well, he’s the man who has directed such action classics as Rambo: First Blood Part II, Cobra, and Tombstone. He passed away in 2005 but I don’t know why he didn’t make any more films after 1997.
• Meet the Crew: This is one of those movies that does a great job of introducing a bunch of characters quickly but in a way that makes them memorable. It helps that Leviathan has some great actors like Richard Crenna, Ernie Hudson, and Hector Elizondo but can’t help but love a movie that is smart. Well, mostly smart. They are a bunch of folks working on a deep sea mining crew.

• Exposure: Someone had to do it. Every one of these stories goes into motion because some member of the team does something and incredibly dumb. It just so happens that Daniel Stern was the man this time.
  Stern’s character hits on all the women, plays practical jokes, and jerks off a lot. He’s basically every guy I knew in the Army. They find an old sunken Soviet submarine and he just has to go wandering around in it.

• Killin’ everybody: By the time that the crewmembers really start feeling the effects of what killed the comrades on the Soviet sub, it’s already too late. Dudes are mutating and for some reason, this particular mining base doesn’t have a shitload of machine guns on it. That’ll teach’em! If I ever am in command of a mining facility 16,000 feet deep you better believe that I’m going to be packing heat!

• Don’t f*ck with Mother Nature: We should all understand this by now. If someone ever came to me with an idea for any genetic experimentation I would just slap them across the face. Add in the fact that they are almost totally helpless at the bottom of the ocean and you have the perfect reason to never start screwing around with DNA. Lucky for us, it makes for good entertainment.

• Time to fight back: Mining tools make for pretty decent monster killing tools. They have a plethora of saws, a flame throwers, and some future looking ax that we sadly never get to see used. Stan Winston is the magnificent bastard who designed the creature used for this movie so you just know you’re in for something strange and amazing.

The Verdict: In my circles, we’re all still looking for that movie to perfectly blend Alien and The Thing together and Leviathan just might be the movie to do it. It also has an amazing cast that make the most of the amount of time they have on screen. Peter Weller is instantly heroic and Ernie Hudson makes everything he’s in better. Meg Foster is good as the evil corporate person and I’ll never get tired of a movie that takes joy in getting Amanda Pays in her undies and seeing a lady get punched out by the hero.