Bullet Points: Knock Off
The career of Jean Claude Van Damme has taken a few dips and dives over the years. The late 80’s were great and the early 90’s were out of this world good but by 1997 his career started to see its first hiccup. It’s really a shame, too. Van Damme was still in great shape at the time and still very much in his prime. It’s just too bad that whatever decisions he made that led to movies starring alongside Dennis Rodman in Double Team and Rob Schneider in Knock Off happened in the first place. Thank God for the redemptive qualities of 2008’s JCVD.
Synopsis: A fashion designer who must join forces with a C.I.A. agent to combat terrorism.
- Knockoff dolls: The movie starts with some Russian guys diving underwater in search of a crate full of baby dolls. What is so special about these dolls? Well, it appears that someone has decided to put explosives inside these dolls and now we’re off and running.
- Rickshaw racing and ass smacking: Ray (JCVD) and Hendricks (Schneider) are a couple of fashion guys living it up in Hong Kong by getting involved in the knockoff game. It connects them with a few unsavory characters and now they’re balls deep in a situation where former KGB dudes are trying to kill them. Before all that happens, though, Rob Schneider spanks Van Damme’s ass with a large fish while riding a rickshaw….
- Undercover Rob: The thing that Knock Off does to try and keep you off guard is to have Schneider as the undercover CIA agent instead of the easy pick in Van Damme. It seems weird to me that the CIA is so invested in an operation like this but I guess it pays off in the end because some morons are trying to hide bombs in knockoff dolls.
- The old missile in the safe trick: Poor Marcus Ray is now buried deep in a situation where the Russians, CIA, and some other local baddies are after him. I don’t remember the reasoning for why Ray is such a badass and can beat up like 50 guys but it is what it is. You pay for Van Damme and you’re gonna get some sweet kicks! Sadly, one of Ray’s longest friends and fellow knockoff artist gets killed by the Russians in a most extreme way; they hide a missile in his safe. Poor guy never had a chance.
- Kudos to the stunt team: Whatever my feelings for the movie as a whole (they aren’t good), the stunt team deserves a special pat on the back for the work that they do. The film is directed by the legendary Hark Tsui who I remember most from his work on the Once Upon a Time in China films. For some reason, the action scenes here aren’t nearly as smooth as you might expect but there are some really dandy stunts being performed. Especially by whoever was doing Van Damme’s work.
- No standing still: Like many movies at the time, there aren’t a whole lot of shots of people firing their guns while standing still. Guys and gals blast away at each other while running, jumping, flinging themselves from buildings, and sliding on the ground. It’s like a thrift store John Woo movie.
- Hark and Sammo: Hark Tsui was the director but the awesome Sammo Hung was the 2nd Unit Director. What that tells you is that we need to shove some of the blame for the lameness of the fight scenes onto Sammo. It’s not that easy, though. Some further reading shows that Sammo and his crew filmed tons more footage of the fight scenes involving JCVD and others but much of it was left on the cutting room floor. Sorry Sammo. You’re off the hook!
- Big green boom: The film gets out of control by the end with just who is trustworthy and who isn’t. Most of the characters turn out to either be bad when we thought they were good or vice versa. Schneider and Van Damme act essentially how you would expect them to and it really feels like a film that doesn’t know what the hell it was doing. It came out the same year as Rush Hour but comes nowhere near being as good or as funny. You can’t have a movie with loads of bombs in it without setting them off at some point and we’re finally witness to the devastatingly green explosions that the baby dolls cause.
The Verdict: I am not a fan of this kind of Van Damme movie. It really feels like it was a bit aimless at times and the action doesn’t fit well with the strengths that the actors had. Paul Sorvino is in it and absolutely terrible. The story mistakes twists and character revelations for something interesting. Little worked for me and I would be lying if I said I liked it even a little bit.
