Bullet Points: Ninja Busters
Paul Kyriazi’s Ninja Busters has an interesting backstory. The movie was actually produced back in 1984… but thanks to some motion picture industry red tape, the movie was never released and found itself seemingly stuck in movie purgatory forever. Three decades later when the sole 35mm print of the movie was discovered, Ninja Busters suddenly had a second chance.
After experiencing Ninja Busters, I realized what a damn shame it would have been if the movie had remained lost forever…
- Prologue: The movie begins with a meeting between the two biggest baddies in Ninja Busters, Mr.Santos and the Dragon Lady. Santos is an importer/exporter who has made a fortune smuggling guns, gold, diamonds and drugs. Santos is no fool, he realizes that some of the underworld types he is dealing with may try to double cross him, so he goes to the Dragon Lady to put her army of ninjas on retainer. Santos with an army of ninjas at his disposal… you’d have to be an idiot to oppose him…
- Meet the Idiots: Chic (Sid Campbell) and Bernie (Eric Lee, Fists of Iron) are two friends who recently started working at Mr. Santos’ warehouse. On their lunch break they find out from one of the longer tenured employees at the warehouse that the warehouse is a front for Santos’ illegal activities. The warehouse chatterbox even tells Chic and Bernie that the “good stuff” is always in specially marked crates. Later that day, curiosity gets the better of the best friends and they start to pry open one of the crates to see what is inside… but before they can Santos and two of his heavies show up and Chic and Bernie get their asses kicked and get their asses fired. Things don’t get much better when Chic and Bernie make their way to a restaurant to grab something to eat and figure out what their next move is going to be… Chic and Bernie try to impress the waitress by claiming that Bernie is Bruce Lee’s prized pupil and that Chic actually trained Bruce Lee… the waitress seems impressed at first, but when a couple of bikers end up giving Chic and Bernie their second ass whooping of the day, she quickly realizes they are bullshitters.
- Girl Crazy: Chic and Bernie are either hopeless romantics or extremely horny… it really depends on your point of view. After getting their asses handed to them at work and then again at the restaurant, the not so dynamic duo happen upon a martial arts school… more specifically an all female class practicing. After fogging up the glass while on the outside looking in, the guys wander inside the school where they meet the Master (Gerald Okamura, American Streetfighter) and he asks the guys if they are interested in signing up for classes. Figuring it would be a good way to hook up with the ladies at the school, they agree to sign up… and so begins Chic and Bernie’s not so serious odyssey into the world of martial arts training begins.
- The Competitive Advantage: When Sonny (Frank Navarro), one of the bikers who got into it with Bernie and Chic at the restaurant, shows up at the martial arts school, it looks like he and Bernie are about to throw down again, but Master steps in and makes them both an offer… the only way he will allow the two to fight is if they both earn their black belts… three years passes by in no time (thanks to three awesome montages) and Ninja Busters gives us the battle between Bernie and Sonny, a battle that ends in draw with both men winning the others respect… it is a good thing too because Bernie is about to need all the friends he can get.
- Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good: One day while they are out and about, Chic and Bernie spot their old boss Santos and decide to trail him… it leads them to a junkyard where Santos is about to sell guns to a militant group, but the deal does not go smoothly and Chic and Bernie soon find themselves in the middle of a battle between the militants and Santos’ hired ninjas. Chic and Bernie manage to come out of the fracas unscathed… but an angry Santos orders his ninjas to kill Chic and Bernie and anybody they talk to. You know what that means… the good guys are going to have to bust some ninjas!
Ninja Busters was unlike any ninja movie I had ever seen before. The ninjas take a backseat in this one and at the forefront is the story of two lovable losers who turn their lives around thanks to the power of the martial arts. Ninja Busters is equal parts goofy and charming and it proves to be a winning formula.
Wrapping up a review with Bonus Bullet Points is also a winning formula…
- Multi-Talented: In addition to being one of the main players in the movie, Frank Navarro also composed the music for the film.
- Bust A Movie: Frank Navarro also showed off some impressive breakdancing skills! Ninjas and breakdancing in the same movie? I wonder if Menahem Golan was the man who made sure Ninja Busters was “lost”.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see a biker take off his boxer shorts without taking off his jeans, then this is the movie for you.
- Familiar Face: One of the instructors during the training montage scenes was Harry Mok of Rambo: First Blood Part II fame. I interviewed Harry a while back and Ninja Busters was one of the topics we discussed, you can check out the interview by clicking here!
