20 Reasons Why You Rock: No Holds Barred
The critics were not kind to No Holds Barred when it was released. Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel even named No Holds Barred one of the worst films of 1989. To this day, the movie only has an 11% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Is it possible that the critics are wrong? YES… it is extremely possible, because from where I sit No Holds Barred rocks…
#1- If you need someone to portray a professional wrestling announcer in your movie, who better to cast than the one and only Gene Okerlund. “Mean” Gene Okerlund was the quintessential wrestling announcer. We lost “Mean” Gene this year, but his booming voice will live on forever in his body of work, which includes the opening scene of No Holds Barred as Gene and Jesse “The Body” Ventura commentate as WWF Champion Rip Thomas (Hulk Hogan) defends his title.
#2- I believe Kurt Fuller’s Mr. Brell is one of the most underrated villains in action movie history. As the evil television executive (is there any other kind?) Brell was willing to do anything and everything to get what he wanted… his treatment of the Samantha character alone is enough to make him one of Hollywood’s most hated men.
#3- Every villain needs some lackeys and Brell had two of the best “yes men” I have ever seen… Unger (David Paymer) and Ordway (Charles Levin) even have great lackey names.
#4- Not many people would accuse Hulk Hogan of being a great actor, but as Rip Thomas he was pretty convincing playing the biggest wrestling superstar in the world who turned down a huge money deal from Mr. Brell to go to the competition. History proved, intelligent businessman Hulkster would have jumped all over that in real life. But in No Holds Barred, I truly believed his character would not take the money.
#5- Jim Johnston was one of the unsung heroes behind the scenes at World Wrestling Entertainment for decades. Johnston was the man behind some of the most iconic entrance music in sports entertainment history… so it was nice to see him get a shot at composing the movie, and you just know Executive Producer Vince McMahon loved the songs that were heavy on the saxophone.
#6- No Holds Barred features this memorable Q&A session… “What’s that smell?” – Rip …”Doo-doo-dookie.” – Evil Limo Driver
#7- Speaking of limos, Rip Thomas destroying the limousine from the inside out, including jumping THROUGH the roof of the limo was freaking awesome!
#8- Joan Severance (Black Scorpion) who played Rip’s love interest Samantha, was a welcome addition to the cast as the beauty among the beasts.
#9- The scene where Rip and Samantha go out to a fancy French restaurant managed to squash one stereotype and perpetuate another simultaneously. Rip Thomas proved that professional wrestlers aren’t all a bunch of dumb meatheads and the pompous waiter proved that French dudes are snooty frogs that look down on Americans.
#10- As a fan of action movies and professional wrestling, I love when wrestlers pop up in action movies… like when the Ultimate Warrior showed up in Firepower or Bam Bam Bigelow showed up in Snake Eater III: His Law or Kevin Nash showed up in John Wick. Considering No Holds Barred was about wrestling, it made sense that there were a number of wrestler cameos in the film including Jeep Swenson, “The Duke of Dorchester” Pete Doherty, Jos LeDuc, Bill Eadie (aka Demolition Ax) and a scene stealing Stan “The Lariat” Hansen.
#11- Two Words: Food Fight
#12- Rip Thomas’ in-ring rival was the monster known as Zeus (played by Tommy “Tiny” Lister). Zeus is remember for his lazy eye, his unibrow and the “Z” shaved into the side of his head… but I’m not sure Zeus gets the credit he deserves when it comes to his dramatic entrances. His first appearance when he kicks the door down during the premier episode of Brells Battle of the Tough Guys was awe inspiring and it is capped off with him saying his name for the first time, like only Zeus can. But Zeus’ dramatic entrances weren’t over… what about when he shows up uninvited at Rip’s charity event in a helicopter!
#13- Quality Insult: “There’s a couch in the lobby that has a better sense of humor than you do!”
#14- The pinpoint accuracy that Rip Thomas has when he throws the barbell into the CCTV camera at Zeus’ gym was something to behold. If throwing barbells at cameras were an Olympic event, Rip Thomas would be a gold medalist all day long.
#15- Speaking of Zeus’ gym… the dueling montages of Zeus training for his match with Rip and Rip helping his little brother Randy (who was damn near paralyzed by Zeus) rehab need to be applauded.
#16- Zeus backhanding the ring announcer mid-introduction!
#17- Long before the UFC made “The Octagon” famous, Rip and Zeus battled inside an octagonal ring!
#18- Not only did they battle in the octagonal ring, Zeus actually ripped one of the posts in half and tried to impale Rip with it… later when Rip made his big comeback he sent Zeus through the ring!
#19- I am not sure it was the first movie to do it, but I love that the audience members to witness the epic no holds barred grudge match between Rip Thomas and Zeus were dressed to the nines with their tuxedos and gowns on like they were at the Academy Awards.
#20- A high quality villain like Brell deserves a high quality death, and Brell gets just what he deserves in No Holds Barred.
