Bullet Points: Orcs!

There are a huge number of movies about orcs, elves, and dragons on the streaming services. I have to admit that I have watched several over the years and this one piqued my curiosity due to the fact that it was also a comedy. Let’s see what we’re working with…

Synopsis: When marauding orcs invade a US National Park, our collective fates lie in the hands of Ranger Cal Robertson and his side-kick, Volunteer Cadet Hobie, who must stop the wave of destruction before the whole world is overrun.

• The not-so-dynamic duo: Adam Johnson plays Cal, a Park Ranger who could have easily found himself as a character in Office Space or Super Troopers. He’s not what you would call a serious Ranger anymore. What makes it even better is when he is tasked with training Maclain Nelson’s Hobart Moss. He’s a young, naïve, wannabe Ranger who couldn’t be any more different than Cal.
• Protecting our parks: The duo set about a normal day for Cal in Balancing Rock National Park; giving small tours, cleaning toilets, and taking drugs from teenagers. Sure, Cal smoked all their pot but that could easily have been his way of “disposing” of it. Shit gets real when folks around the Park start turning up dead in the latrines, on the golf course, and randomly floating down the stream.

• Orcs!: The Orcs look about as good as you would expect them to on a budget like this. They wear loads of armor in order to cover up the majority of the prosthetics they would need and rarely are any of them shown close up. That isn’t a deal breaker for me, though. My expectations were never to see Peter Jackson-level orcs with drool spilling out of their mouths.

• The backup: The lovely Renny Grames plays a sexy protester and potential love interest of Cal’s. Her most important role is something much different, though. She’s the badass who saves the Day! She pops up and gives Cal and Hobie the muscle they need for when the orcs make their final push.

• Last Stand at Balancing Rock: The orcs run roughshod over the visitors and finally turn their full attention to Cal, Hobie, and Katie. There are way more orcs than you would probably guess and it makes for a much better action finale. The survivors get into the gun room at the station and have plenty of supplies to make one hell of a stand.

The Verdict: With a small budget, a short runtime, and three characters that were mostly likable, Orcs! succeeds at being entertaining for most of the film. Writer/Director Andrew Black has to be given credit for at least his casting decisions and at most his ability to hide that fact that most of the orcs had little to no makeup up on. Orcs! is a fun movie that finally gives Park Rangers the action they’ve longed for since they failed that Police Admissions test all those years ago.