Bullet Points: The Jurassic Games
Is it Jurassic World or The Hunger Games that we have to thank for this Uncork’d film? How about both? Throw in a heaping chunk of The Running Man and you’ve pretty well nailed down what you’re in for with The Jurassic Games.
Synopsis: In the near future, 10 death row convicts are forced to compete in a virtual reality game that pits them against dinosaurs and each other.
- Wise words: The movie starts with a quote from George Carlin. Not only is that a strange choice to make but it’s also a immediate acknowledgment that we shouldn’t be taking this movie seriously.
- Future: The near future world of this movie isn’t much different than what we have now. The biggest difference is the quality of their entertainment. The Jurassic Games is a reality show where they take criminals and toss them into a virtual reality world complete with killer dinosaurs and other man-eating creatures.
- Dino fun: What might be the best thing about this film is the look of the dinosaurs on screen. I was surprised that they looked so good. The Games are played in a series of stages, each with varying degrees of survivability. A major issue I had with the movie from the very beginning was that the criminals that are supposed to be so dangerous are not menacing in the least. This is the kind of movie that would have done well to get some former WWE guys or ex-MMA fighters in some roles.
- Raptors: You have probably guessed that the poster is total bullshit. There are not that many dinosaurs and at no point does some fully equipped soldier come into play. Luckily, we do get to see some raptors make mincemeat of some people, but I definitely wanted to see someone get impaled by a triceratops.
- Their own worst enemies: You know what I’m tired of? Watching a bunch of people who are stuck in situations like this fight and kill each other instead of teaming up. This movie may have figured a way out of that type of trope by having the contestants in a VR world while their living bodies were being held in a lab. It gave them the perfect opportunity to risk it all in an attempt to win the Games and not be killed. Sadly, none of the contestants ever capitalized on the stupidity of a few of the others and we’re left with the same old stereotypes running around getting eaten by theropods.
- Tucker the hero: There is an unnecessary side-plot with the character Tucker (Adam Hampton) who is the unfortunate victim of the American Justice system. His wife was killed and he was somehow locked up for it. I guess I was supposed to root for him since he is innocent, by all accounts, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about the character even a little.
- Final Stage: I was getting tired of the endless scenes of the show’s producers and interviews with Tucker’s kids by the end. All I really wanted was to see was a T-Rex eating people. Is that too much to ask? Finally, as all hope began to fade for Tucker and for myself, the movie delivers a Running Man-like finale and ends the movie with one of the best teases they could possibly muster.
The Verdict: A very predictable movie but not a terrible one. It could have used a few tough looking characters instead of the sissies they had. None of the actors looked menacing enough even though the actors did a fine job with the material. The CGI was pretty good for the size of the budget and I think the premise is just crazy enough to provide enough entertainment for a random Tuesday night. I would have done some things differently and found a way to kill some more folks but all in all, it wasn’t a complete waste of time.
