Bloodsport: Enter the Kumite
The Kumite represents the pinnacle of the underground, bare-knuckled, ass-kicking world. You’ll only end up here if you receive the mysterious invitation or are willing to bang one of those old Chinese dudes like Leah Ayres. Hong Kong in 1975 had very strict rules against outsiders so if you’re reading this outside of the city then you’ll most likely not have been invited. Lucky for you, I’m a compulsive gambler and have taken the time to compile a list of odds and breakdowns of each fighter. Let the shirtless brawling begin!!
Chong Li 2/1
The obvious favorite to win the entire tournament and a fighting god amongst men. Chong Li opens the film by doing some training in preparation for the Kumite in South Korea with his coach. You can tell how seriously Chong Li took the entire event because he rarely pays much attention or cares what goes on in the fights until he’s called upon to kick the ass of some sorry sack.
Pumola 9/2
He’s big. He’s mean. He’s not wearing a cup. Pumola had a pretty good route to the final and would have matched up well against Chong Li had it gone that way. You can’t say that Dux didn’t take the easy way out in his fight with the sumo champion after he Dim Mak’ed his gut and then straight up tiger-uppercutted his ballsack.
Paco 20/1
What a breath of fresh air seeing someone who looks like they may have had a chance against Chong Li. Paco is a champion Muay Thai fighter in Bangkok and deservedly so, makes it deep into the tournament. He eventually runs into the buzzsaw that is Frank Dux but before that Paco is a definite favorite to make it to the finals.
Frank Dux 20/1
He was somewhat of an unknown coming into the tourney but his martial arts pedigree is hard to ignore. Dux also showed up in tip-top shape and impressed the hell out of some of the local bookies with his Dim Mak presentation. It doesn’t hurt that Dux also broke Chong Li’s record for fastest knockout in his very first fight of the tournament.
Chuan Ip Mung 40/1
Despite his shiny pants, I don’t think that Chuan had much of a chance in this thing. He gets a bit of a bump because we see him fighting a few times and each time he is victorious, but he’s also slated to face Chong Li on his side of the bracket and that weak little Chinese frame has no chance against the juggernaut of Chong Li.
Jackson 40/1
Somebody get this man a beer. Jackson must have stolen his neighbors mail because he sticks out like a sore thumb in this tournament. Whatever the case, Jackson does a decent job pummeling tiny Asian guys and that ballet dude who slipped through the front door before he got curb stomped like he was in some direct to video American History X sequel.
Suen Parades 60/1
Parades showed quite a bit of promise in the tourney before he finally ran into the dominating Chong Li. He was the first to get a few shots in on Li and the only guy he fought the first couple of days that didn’t look like they wandered in off of the streets. Bonus points to Parades for being Tong Po actor Michel Qissi!
Ricardo Moura 60/1
It shouldn’t be racist to call his fighting style “monkey style” but it probably is. Ricardo had no reason being in this tournament since he barely topped the scales at 110 lbs. and his most memorable moment was when he got his back broken like a pretzel rod by Pumola.
Gustafson 100/1
He was the blonde-haired white guy who was shown a couple of times in the film wearing some of the baggiest pants in history. His short bit of training in the opening montage would have had you believe he stood a chance but he got his ass handed to him by Chong Li early on and I couldn’t even find a decent picture of him online.
Toon Wing Sum 1000/1
He was the training partner of Chuan Ip Mung and his school’s “Second most likely to succeed in the Kumite”. Sadly, his Kung Fu skills couldn’t match up with Paco’s Muay Thai badassery and he was dispatched on day 2.
Ng Yuk Shu 1000/1
He fought against Frank Dux on day 2 and couldn’t have had less of a chance at victory. The actor/stuntman is allegedly a badass in real life so he was commanded to take it easy on Van Damme on set.
Bloodsport is an absolute classic in the martial arts world and should be shown to all of your children as a way to deal with their bully issues. If you were planning on making a bet on the Kumite then you’re about 30 years too late as the film already told us that Frank Dux persevered that shit. He snuck into the country, evaded the American government, beat up some local police officers, got his little willy wet, and still had time to defeat the baddest man on the planet. What a long weekend for Frank and what a fantastic movie for us.
