Bullet Points: Vendetta (1986)

How far would you go to get justice for a loved one? Most people probably think they would go all out to get revenge but few probably get satisfactory retribution if it required personal sacrifice. That’s why I deal with the world of action movies. It is a world where, just for a random example out of the blue, an accomplished stunt woman would purposely get herself imprisoned to take down her sister’s murderers. Tell me how many people in real life would go that far. Luckily for you, nobody has to go to prison to enjoy the 1986’s Vendetta because I happen to have some Bullet Points for the action revenge film that just happens to deal with this exact premise.

• The Known Stuntwoman – Bonnie is visiting her big sister Laurie on the set of an action movie. Laurie (Karen Chase) is a stuntwoman for the movie and we are treated to a most excellent controlled burn to show off her skills. Filming has ended and Laurie and her beau Paul (Marshall R. Teague, A Dangerous Place) take Bonnie to the wrap party. Bonnie is making eyes at all the bad boys, even though Laurie tries to keep Bonnie out of trouble. Bonnie still manages to get lured into a pickup truck where some innocent kissing leads directly to rape at gunpoint. Completely off screen, Bonnie manages to get the gun from her assailant and kill the bastard. While I, and I hope to think that most people celebrate Bonnie, the local judicial system finds her guilty of manslaughter and Bonnie is sentenced to prison

• It’s a Hard Knock Life – The kind-hearted Bonnie is not suited for prison, but to be honest, I wouldn’t want to know the ladies suitable for the prison Bonnie is at… or the guards for that matter. Bonnie gets quickly introduced to the top dog prisoner Kay (Sandy Martin, Barfly) in the obligatory women in prison shower scene. Vendetta spices up the scene with Bonnie not taking a liking to Kay and then taking a punch at Kay followed by Kay slapping Bonnie. I have to say my feelings on this prison have started to change. Even though it was fun to see Bonnie punch Kay, you know that it was not going to end well for Bonnie and one night Kay and her gang beat Bonnie to death and shoot her up with drugs and throw her over a balcony.

• Let’s Go to Prison – The prison believes Bonnie’s death is a suicide and close their case, but Laurie is not satisfied. Laurie knows Bonnie wouldn’t use drugs and couldn’t have killed herself. Without any help from then law, the only way for Laurie to get to the bottom of the Bonnie’s murder is to go to prison. How to get sent to prison? While there are many options, Bonnie opts for the exhilarating “getting drunk on champagne and stealing the judge’s car” routine… also known as blondie in a hot rod Lincoln. With her stunt background, you better believe Laurie leads the cops on an exciting chase.

• Hard Time? – Having never served any time in prison myself, I didn’t think the prison that Laurie goes to was that bad… sans the murders of her sister. Sure there are some fights, with one inmate getting a meat tenderizer to the hand and another getting a dumbbell to the baby maker, but it is not set up like a traditional prison (being filmed at a community college probably has something to do with that). The prisoners get conjugal visits at a hotel, the prisoners get unsupervised use of a swimming pool and they get to work on a wind farm. And yes of course, prisoners are the most qualified laborers to work in the highly technical field of renewable energy. I also can never be upset with a prison that has an infirmary that allows the patients to convalesce in their unmentionables.

The action in Vendetta really kicks into high gear when Laurie finds out which prisoners were involved in Bonnie’s murder and starts taking them out one by one. Laurie is pretty damn good at killing, almost too good and she starts to realize that murder is not something she wants to be doing with her life. At the time of Laurie’s revelation, Kay finds out about Bonnie and Laurie’s relationship and it reminds of the time when the shit hit the fan… and a rapey prison guard never makes things easy. Vendetta ends with a riot natch, and with the protagonist and antagonist facing each other, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This Bullet Points will end with some Bonus Bullet Points, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

• Give It To ‘Em, Paul – Laurie: “Achieving honorable justice, that’s bushido.” Paul: “That’s bullshit.”
• Best Insult – It is a tie between calling someone the complex “a regular molotov cocktail… with balls” or the simple “twatface”.
• Best Prince Impersonation – The prisoners have a talent show that involves one female prisoner singer and dancing  à la Prince with striptease included. Again, not something that I think happens in most prisons.
• Familiar Faces – You women behind bars fans will recognize Roberta Collins as Miss Dice, but this time she is playing someone on the other side of the bars. The Judge is played by Will Hare, whom I always remember as Dollars in Enter the Ninja. 
• Best Rhyme – “Once you go brown there’s no turning around.”
• Best Quote Probably Heard Only in a Women’s Prison – “Move your saggy nips out of my face.”
• Vendetta Presents – Be on the lookout for A View to a Kill on a theater marquee and a Street Girls poster in Kay’s cell.