Bullet Points: Dead Trigger
The things we love are often times the same things that hurt us the most. In this particular case, my fandom of Dolph Lundgren and my need to watch any movie he makes is starting to cause me more and more harm. If you had told me 25 years ago that Dolph would be making zombie movies I would have straight up handed you my wallet. Now, it’s all I can do to just stay awake through the thing.
Synopsis: A mysterious virus has killed billions and turned many others into bloodthirsty zombies. Unable to stop the virus, the government develops a video game, “Dead Trigger,” that mirrors the terrifying events that curse the world.
- Video game generation: We live in a world where most people’s ideas of warfare and combat come from video games like Call of Duty and Fortnite. You can tell that when characters in a movie all have their little eye black on like they’re playing in a junior varsity football game. They try sneak in words that make them sound tough or that sound soldier-like but they’re rarely used in the right context. This group of 20 somethings come complete with tough girl, criminal black guy, and Asian tech dude. Don’t forget the white bread blonde and other guy who tries to hook up with her the entire movie.
- Recruitment: A narration tells us that a zombie apocalypse happened and the world has gone to shit. The year is only 2025 and everyone is playing some dumb game that apparently notifies big brother of your potential talent to be a zombie killer. It doesn’t work very well because everyone that gets recruited sucks major balls! Dolph Lundgren is there, however, to help train these puny little turds and hopefully turn them into fighting men and women.
- Walker and the training: Lundgren brings along his Russian buddy Oleg Taktarov to help train the punks. A few of them instantly die during the training and somehow no one bats an eye. Later, Oleg tells them “if you do not have a weapon, you must become one.” Then he uses a machete to kill like six zombies. It’s hilariously bad. Worse than that is the weapons training and the fact that this special group of new soldiers go out at night to drink and play pool. Not in my Army, Dolph!
- Suicide mission: It isn’t but a few days into their training before they’re called upon for the real thing. I would be turning in my resignation letter immediately if I were Dolph but he goes along for the ride and ends us realizing that their mission to rescue a different team is really just a suicide mission. Why did they get sent in? Who sent them in? Should I even care?
- Cyglobe: The evil company that started this whole mess pops up every once in a while. It’s more or less annoying by the end because I’m expected to believe this company wants the war to stay ongoing to sell weapons when they would most certainly make more money selling pharmaceuticals. Whatever! I guess someone had to take the blame for outbreak…or did they? What would Romero do?
- Every man for himself: For being in the situation that they’re in, these folks sure do turn on each other a lot. I would imagine that keeping more people with guns around you would make you safer than running off on your own but these guys must think differently. Any semblance of story is just a waste of time by now as the few remaining survivors are just trying to make it out alive. Dolph does his best but there is not a babysitter on this planet that could save this movie from being a garbage pile.
- Put your dukes up: If you’re anything like me, you’ll practically be begging for this movie to end. I have definitely seen worse movies in my day but it shouldn’t be this bad when your story is simply “people with guns try not to get killed by zombies”. The finale attempts to crank up the action with a throwdown between Dolph and real life badass Oleg Taktarov. Let me tell you, I’ve seen Taktarov fight and this movie didn’t do him any favors. Hell, he and Dolph had a legit boxing match back in 2007 so you’ll probably be more entertained if you just go watch that on Youtube.
The Verdict: If he’s not careful, this is what people are going to remember Dolph Lundgren for in 20 years; the dozens of terrible films that he starred in that are so bad that they’ll overshadow the good ones he did early in his career. Dead Trigger is the type of movie that I would be embarrassed to be a part of. I don’t know how such a shitty script and story makes its way into production with guys like Dolph and Isaiah Washington attached. Zombie movies don’t need to be Shakespearean but this one doesn’t have a single fleshed-out character and there isn’t one scene that was truly memorable. Don’t waste your time on this one.
