Bullet Points: Let’s Get Harry

Sometimes a movie looks so good on paper. Let’s Get Harry should be one of the greatest action movies ever made. The cast is to die for. The plot is all about kicking ass and saving the day. What could go wrong? Here at BPA we tend to look for the positive. We love our action. It is my pleasure to bring you BULLET POINTS for Let’s Get Harry.

• Alan Smithee:  The name which strikes fear in a lot of movie fans. Alan is not a real person. He is a pseudonym for directors who hate the movie they directed so much; they want their name taken off the credits. We will not even mention the real name of the director. It is said the director had some disagreements with the big wigs who sign the paychecks during post-production. His vision of the film wasn’t the finished product. We all wanted Harry to come home, right?

• All about Harry: Just so you know, this is a story about bringing Harry home. Who is Harry? Probably, the coolest guy ever. Mark Harmon is Harry, an engineer / plumber who gets kidnapped by a version of the Columbian Cartel. These baddies want to trade Harry and this random ambassador guy for some “political” prisoners. Remember, the United States doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, so it is up to his friends, not the government, to bring him home.
• The A-Team:  This cast is to die for. We already know about Harry but let me tell you about this cast. If I was ever kidnapped, and Chuck Norris was too busy selling exercise equipment, I would want these guys to come get me. Listen to this cast of characters: Harry’s brother is played by Jake from Sixteen Candles. Harry’s friends are Biff from Back to the Future, Glenn Frey of The Eagles and Rick “The Nicest Man in Hollywood” Rossovich. Now remember, all these guys are plumbers, not professional hostage rescuers. They need some help. 

• Help Wanted: I think I would put an ad in the newspaper like these guys did to find me a badass to help save my friend / brother. Unfortunately, they pass on Black Rambo, but they do find a man with one of the coolest names ever, Robert Duvall’s Norman Shrike. How badass is the last name Shrike? And, they call him Stormin’ Norman! He’s a Medal of Honor winner from Vietnam who wears a Yankees cap like a boss. I’m a Sox fan, and I think he looks pimp as hell in his Yankees hat. How are the guys going to afford Norman?
• We Need Money: Remember, the government is not helping in the rescue mission. How are the fellas going to pay to save Harry? Professional hostage rescuers aren’t cheap. Who do you call? Gary Busey! You see, Gary plays a car dealer named Jack. He lets you make your own deal at his car lot and he always has hot babes in his commercials. He is Capitalism with a capital C. Not only does he have the money, but he likes to go on big hunting trips. He’s also a master blower when it comes to using the deadly blow-dart gun and he has a signature quote throughout the film, and it deals with eating animals on a stick. Gary in his mind is doing the Lord’s work, while Making America Great. So of course, he comes on the mission to save Harry. I told you this cast was awesome!
• Cowboy Cocaine Courage:  To the untrained eye, Let’s Get Harry appears to be a War on Drugs / Just Say No piece of action movie propaganda. Not so fast! Yes, the bad guys deal cocaine and drugs are bad, but I honestly believe the movie’s message is: Recreational use of cocaine is cool, and it will help you kill all the bad guys. Here’s my case: Glenn Frey is one of Harry’s friends and he has one of the best-looking mustaches in the history of mustaches. He also is the only friend of Harry’s to have no fear when it comes to the rescue mission. Harry’s brother goes soft at times. Biff is scared of his own shadow and Rick Rossovich has so much doubt, he chickens out on the mission. Not Glenn. Why? Because of the sweet sweet candy that is cocaine. He is seen doing lines throughout the film. He even steals cocaine from the drug dealers during the rescue mission. His friends find out about his habit, and Glenn says something like it is only a little bit of blow. His nose stays red like Rudolph’s, but he’s never scared. He takes his Uzi and plows baddies down all in the name sweet cocaine. There’s a scene where Gary Busey finds a megaton of cocaine, and the look in his eyes, is the EYE of the Tiger. He understands. He knows the power of the blow. Duvall is the pro; he’s not supposed to be scared. Gary and Glenn need that extra boost: The line, Baby! This movie would’ve been over in 10 minutes if everyone did cocaine for courage. 

• Send in the Plumbers: How did these guys learn to fight? Did they play a lot of Super Mario Bros.? This is one of the most unlikely group of potential rescuers. I’m told, scenes got cut showing Duvall training our band of heroes. The guys practice the art of Spray and Pray. They hold the Uzi and just let it go. No aim. No control. It is pure luck if they hit the target or not. You really start to wonder how everything will play out once a certain event happens that you should see coming from a mile away.
• The Billy Sole Theory of Survival:  Ever heard of the saying: Too badass to live? In a lot of action movies, there’s that one guy you could bet the farm will bite the dust, even though he is badder to the bone and more badass than all the other characters combined. I first discovered this theory watching Seven Samurai. There’s a badass swordsman named Kyuzo. He went into the woods with just his sword to fight like 2,343,454 people. You knew he wasn’t going to come back, but damn he was a badass. However, I named this theory after Billy Sole from Predator. We all know how much of a badass Billy was. He went out like a boss. One of my favorite scenes ever in the history of action movies was the courage Billy showed. So naturally, you can take a good guess who will not make it to the final stage of Let’s Get Harry? I’m not giving anything away, but I’m sure you can recognize a badass when you see one. 

• The Final Thoughts:  Here’s the thing: The movie is awesome at times. I love seeing a rad rescue mission. However, we also have a hot mess of a film. It is mainly due to the focus of the friends trying to bring Harry home. Nobody really cares what Jake and Biff are up to, and their feelings. We want to see Robert Duvall and Gary Busey kicking so much ass until it hurts. When Robert and Gary are on the screen, the movie excels. When they are absent, the movie suffers. We also have baddies we simply don’t care about, and some scenes happen which I still can’t explain. You could easily make a case for Let’s Get Harry as a prime example of an actual Mission Impossible. Still, if you love action, Let’s Get Harry might be the movie for you.

What? Just because the director didn’t want his name attached to the film doesn’t mean you don’t get Bonus Bullet Points!

• Vote for Pedro: Oh man, I didn’t talk much about the baddies, but the main guy looks just like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. Someone get that guy a Vote for Pedro t-shirt. 
• Duvall Hate: Mr. Robert Duvall hated this movie so much, he tried to block it from getting released. I guess you will have to watch the film to see why. 
• Hess and Burns:  I noticed Jere Burns from Justified as some government guy when the fellas go to Washington, D.C. to try and get help for Harry. However, I need your help in telling me where David Hess is at? He is credited as a Mercenary, but I didn’t see him. Please comment on Twitter or on this post to help me find Mr. Hess. Also, to sneak something in, Ben Johnson is a cool guy. He plays Harry’s dad.
• The Magic of Marlboro Cigarettes: How much profit do you think there is in the drug making business? Especially, if you lived in some poor country and you are the big boss? Well, our main baddie has an old man named Pablo on his payroll and he makes the best drugs in the land. You would think he would be rolling in the dough, but Pablo only wants one thing for payment: A carton of Marlboro Cigarettes.