Bullet Points: Dollman
It probably would have been smart to review some sort of scary movie for Halloween day but I didn’t plan anything so get off of my back. Instead, you get to read about this gem directed by Albert Pyun and starring Tim Thomerson. If you’re not hooked yet, just wait.
Synopsis: A hard-boiled, intergalactic policeman lands on Earth where he is only 12 inches tall.
- The Lowdown: 10,000 light years from Earth is a planet called Arturos. Despite it looking exactly like our own world, we eventually learn that everything there is a fraction of the equivalent size it would be on our world. It doesn’t mean much when we’re there but becomes much more laughable when the heroic Brick Bardo (Thomerson) finally makes his way to Earth.
- 12 Inches of Justice: Brick Bardo is one bad MF’er! He has an uber-powerful gun that blows dudes to smithereens. Turning them into 160 lbs. of ground beef right in front of our eyes. It also has some sort of cool Thor-like ability to fly back to his hand from the ground or any other place.
- Fighting back: Brick Bardo crash lands his ship on Earth and runs into Debi Alejandro, played by Kamala Lopez. Like Bardo, she is a total badass. She is fighting back against the very crooks and drug dealers who are turning her neighborhood into a pit of crime and indecency. She and her young son take in Brick after he blasts a couple of thugs trying to get fresh with her. Jackie Earle Haley plays the leader of the gang and the man who has kept Debi safe to this point. Now, of course, little Brick Bardo is there and he’s about to kick the shit out of anyone trying to hurt poor Debi.
- 12 Inches in the Bronx: Frank Collison plays Sprug. He’s another tiny person from that other planet but he is essentially a floating head who is intent on ruling one planet or another. He hooks up with Jackie Earle Haley and promises him use of his dimensional bomb. Sprug is fantastic! He’s so evil yet also worthless. I loved it!
- Dimensional bombs ain’t what they used to be: Dollman makes a leap out of a window and lands on the back end of a moving car. Yes, a man only 12 inches tall does so without a single injury. Only Brick Bardo, folks. The final showdown is in a commercial area where plenty of destruction can occur. Bardo’s gun isn’t as powerful on Earth but that doesn’t mean that it can’t blow a hole clean through someone.
The Verdict: Dollman shouldn’t be any good at all but anyone who likes and appreciates Tim Thomerson will enjoy this one. It’s ridiculous. It’s very funny to watch, at times, and did I mention that it has Tim Thomerson? It’s a very short film which also works toward its favor and Albert Pyun does enough without screwing anything up. I would say Dollman goes best with about 8 beers in you, but most things do. Either way, it was a fun watch.
