Bullet Points: Animal Among Us
Another release from UNCORK’D ENTERTAINMENT is coming very soon to a Redbox near you, and I had the pleasure of getting an advance screener for John Woodruff’s Animal Among Us. A film marketed as Friday the 13th meets Dog Soldiers. Now, with my trusty Bullet Points, I will examine if it is worth your time and money.
- Tell me about the story: We have a writer, Christian Oliver’s Roland Baumgarner. He’s written one book in the past seven years. The book was about a double homicide at Camp Merry Maker. Oddly enough, he received a fan letter from one of the owners of the camp. The camp is reopening, and the owners would love for him to come to the festivities. Being a somewhat arrogant writer, he jumps at the chance to leave his very pregnant wife to visit his fans. Red flags should be going off, but then we wouldn’t have a movie to talk about.
- Camping is so much fun: Camp Merry Maker is owned by a pair of sisters. One (Larisa Oleynik) you might recognize from The Secret World of Alex Mack and two (Christine Donlon) you might or might not remember from her work on Femme Fatales. I remember her playing a nurse in an episode with featured everyone’s favorite goon covered in tattoos, Robert LaSardo. Alarms should be going off, because something, once again, isn’t quite right. Why would these sisters want the writer to come visit? I’m pretty sure his book was one of the main reasons the camp had yet to reopen. Maybe, everyone wants to get together, sing campfire songs and roast marshmallows?
- Sir Squatch: Some random reporter shows up at the camp looking for Big Foot, or as I swear I heard him say, Sir Squatch. Yeah, you gotta blame something or someone for the murders, because the crime was never solved. The reporter (Jonathan Murphy) looks goofy, but then I realize he wrote the screenplay. So I guess he gets a pass. The screenplay is fairly well written. Nothing too stupid, and the pace of the film moves at a strong pace, even with the lack of a lot of action.
- Where’s the good parts: I was really excited at the beginning. I saw two attractive women with lollipops in their mouths, obviously a clue we are going to see some hot sex later on. Unfortunately, the closest we get is a shower scene where our lady friend forgets to drop her towel. Come on, man! Don’t tease the audience. I honestly feel this could’ve easily been a Syfy TV movie. I don’t know if I would’ve rated this one an R. I’m still trying to remember if anything I witnessed justified an R rating.
- Final Judgment: I thought Animal Among Us was going to be a non-stop action horror movie about chasing killers and trying to avoid Big Foot. When I watch movies like this, I look for 3 things: Boobs, Practical Gore and Action. We don’t get much of any of the 3. However, the film still works without the ingredients I enjoy the most. That’s a big compliment to the people involved. In no way should they have tried to compare the film to Friday the 13th and Dog Soldiers, but I can’t help but recommend you give Animal Among Us a view.
Of course we have Bonus Bullet Points!
- Question for y’all: Camp Merry Maker is billed as the scariest camp since Crystal Lake, I challenge the reading audience to name a campground scarier. I think they forgot a few.
- Another question: Hit me up with the answer in the comments or on Twitter. A lot of the movie focuses on the Writer / Professor, Christian Oliver’s Roland Baumgarner. What do you think of his character? Did he deserve his fate?
- Burl Wolf Howl, now that’s a cool name: Cheers to actor, Don Frye. He steals a lot of scenes with his mustache and chewed cigar.
- But Wait There’s More: Check out my video review below…
