True Action: The Icebreaker

I have two truths and a lie for you. The Icebreaker ship Mikhail Somov was trapped in the Antarctic ice for over 100 days back in 1985. The 2016 Russian action movie The Icebreaker tensely portrays the harrowing ordeal of the similarly named Mikhail Gromov. Titanic is the greatest iceberg movie of all time. While Titanic is one of the most popular movies, thanks to James Cameron’s wizardry, a likable lead in Leo, and that song, it is the lie thanks to the True Action tale of The Icebreaker. The film may take some liberties with the facts (with the ship name being one) but it is in order to make a tense action film that will send Titanic to the bottom of your iceberg action movie list. For those of you that don’t remember or forgot about the story of the Mikhail Somov I just so happen to have some True Action Bullet Points for The Icebreaker. 

• Вершина айсберга – The crew of the Mikhail Gromov are delivering supplies to an arctic research station and are taking on many of the scientists as they are headed down to Australia. It is a long way down under and before they get very far the ship runs into some serious ice and it is a this point you know The Icebreaker is not messing around with its action set pieces with the combination of a practical set and believable CG. A word to the wise, if you plan on watching The Icebreaker, you might want to have a sweater on hand because I started to get cold from just watching a few minutes. After the ship hits some of the ice you dog lovers might have a hard time (spoiler alert the dog survives) but you will still get a kick out of the iceberg attacking the ship. That is right, it is almost as if the 100 meter high iceberg is on the offensive.

• Правила вечеринки – Captain Petrov (Pyotr Fyodorov) is a friend of the crew and while that can be seen as a positive, especially when he risks the ship to save a man (and dog) overboard, there are others, especially a weasley first mate who sees his actions as not in line with the party. Communism… them’s the breaks. The ship turns out ok, with only some minor damage and one sailor losing his voice. That doesn’t stop the powers that be to send a new Captain, Valentin Sevchenko (Sergei Puskepalis) to take over and will probably end up with Petrov in jail when he gets home. Sevchenko is flown in, but the helicopter catches fire as it lands and now there is no getting off. We know right from the start that Sevchenko is a hardass and not a sailor’s captain like Petrov because he throws a Rubik’s Cube overboard (spoiler alert the Rubik’s Cube survives… for awhile). The ship gets stuck in the ice and as a party man, Sevchenko awaits orders from Moscow and ignores Petrov’s warnings that the iceberg is on its way.

• Лед сломан – If you ever think things are moving slowly for you in your life, think about the crew in The Icebreaker and the crew in real life. They sat stuck in the ice for over 100 days with only the supplies they had on board. In the film, it took the crew two and a half months to finally start to realize that maybe they are on their own. See if they all die then it is easy to blame the crew and not that ministry that dragged their feet in deciding to send the ship on the resupply mission so late in the season with the high risk of ice. And to make matters worse for the crew, the killer iceberg that has been stalking them (slowly stalking them) is close to catching the ship. The ice starts to crush the ship and water enters the ship. I’m unsure how much you know about ships, but they tend to work better with water on the outside. The crew steps up and saves the ship, but at the cost of losing most of the rest of food and fresh water.

• Бунт – I love a good mutiny! The crew has had enough of the hard ass Sevchenko and decides on a mutiny. Their plan is to take some of the remaining fuel barrels and ignite it out on the ice to break it up. Are you kidding me, The Icebreaker? A frickin’ mutiny with an explosion? Hell yeah! Explosions make everything better… except in this case because all it does it kill the doctor and waste some fuel. On day 133, the mountainous iceberg reaches the ship and as a surprise to no one, the seemingly always at odds captain and previous captain must work together, and Petrov even risks angering the ministry even further by risking the ship again for one man. It is all very exciting though and I really enjoyed the fact that the ship had to go down the crack to survive.

The Icebreaker is top notch Russian action, and while the story of the crew of the real life Mikhail Somov might not have been quite as exciting (like the run in with the killer seal) but that doesn’t mean their ordeal was any easier. Did I mention how cold it was? The Icebreaker also jams in two stories about both of the captain’s wives but all it did was pad the run time. Watching The Icebreaker will leave no one yearning for the days of Communist Soviet bureaucracy, but without their red tape and ineptness I would have never been able to watch The Icebreaker, and for that I salute you, Comrades. As a small token of my appreciation, I am bestowing some True Action Bonus Bullet Points for you to enjoy.

• Also Known As – You might find The Icebreaker as Ледокол in the native language of the film.
• Familiar Quote – “…iceberg, dead ahead.”
• Semyon Semyonovich – I enjoyed the shout out and footage of the classic Soviet film The Diamond Arm. 
• Translation Question – My Russian isn’t perfect, so I am not sure if all the times the subtitles said “Dudes” were correct, but I like to think that sailors in the mid 80s were calling each dudes like on the Mikhail Gromov.
• But With Better Accents – The Icebreaker has a real K-19:The Widowmaker feel to it except above water, with its stern replacement captain, heroic efforts by the crew, and lack of acknowledgement by the Soviet government.
• The End – The end credits feature a song by the Soviet band Kino which is good on its own, but even more fitting because the lead singer of Kino, the late Viktor Tsoi gets a mention in the film.