Bullet Points: Raven
There will never be another Burt Reynolds. What a life! I’m a huge fan, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I discovered Raven, deep in the gutters of Amazon Video. Now, with my trusty bullet points, I’ll guide you through this awesome action adventure from 1996.
- Mission of Doom: Every exciting action movie deserves an awesome opening sequence. Raven definitely delivers an opening to remember. The Raven team is on a mission for the government. Their mission is to retrieve a weapon of mass destruction. The entire team is killed except for Burt, and affordable Rick Rossovich aka Matt Battaglia. Bullets are flying, and terrorist are dying. Somehow, Burt and Matt make it back to the chopper. Matt is pissed. He wants out of the soldier life. He’s tired of killing for a living. Burt is pissed as well. He knows the government people who sent him on the mission, knew there was a very good chance the team wouldn’t make it. This leads to an argument, Burt reaching for a gun, Matt falling out the chopper and the chopper appearing to crash with Burt still in it. We don’t really know what is up, because Matt wakes up from his nightmare, with his hot girlfriend by his side.
- Hot for Krista Allen: When I realized Krista Allen was in Raven, I figured we would see some steamy nakedness. Raven was released right after Krista’s Emmanuelle days. If you haven’t seen the Emmanuelle TV movies, you obviously grew up in a different generation than I did. I still have the theme song in my head. She’s so damn fine. She plays Matt’s girlfriend. She looks great in and out of her bikini. They share a romantical night after they get engaged. However, something tragic happens, that threatens the chance we see Krista naked again. I’m not going to spoil it for you, but if you dig hot nudity, hang in there.
- The Mystery of Raven: When you write a screenplay, I would suggest you write a clear story. This all has to do with Burt Reynolds. I’m pretty sure he tried to kill Matt on the chopper. He also blows up a Federal Building, killing a Senator. He murders another Senator, while the fella is getting it on with Lauren Hays in the back of a limo. He maybe just maybe kidnaps Matt’s girlfriend after pretending to kill her. He also kills a peeping pervert, and he fucks up some Iranian general. Oh hell, this is getting deep. My advice: Just roll with it.
Raven is a confusing yet entertaining action movie that I discovered by accident. Remember, logic is not your friend when you watch. I have some Bonus Bullet Points in the form of some awesome quotes from the movie…
- Quote the Raven: I’ve known you since I was thin.
- Quote the Raven: You are a great lay, but not that great.
- Quote the Raven: You have some set of balls. I’ve never heard that from a man.
- Quote the Raven: What is the difference between me and the clap? You can get rid of the clap.
- Quote the Raven: Compassion? I took it in night school, I failed it.
