Bullet Points: Green Ice

There are times when I am very envious of movies that others have watched but I have never seen. Sometimes it is because the monetary cost is too high to see the movie. Other times it is because I might just be naive to the movie. When I finally get to see one of the movies I get down right sick for having missed it for so long. One such film is 1981’s Green Ice and lucky for you I happen to have some Bullet Points for the action adventure heist film.

• Lime – Green Ice opens in Colombia with some hikers pretending to be college students who are actually smuggling emeralds out of the jungle. We later learn the hikers are smuggling the emeralds to stop the evil emerald concession from destroying their native land for profit. The hikers are stopped by some Colombian soldiers, who we later learn are working for the concession, and shot execution style for their trouble. The one female hiker is almost raped, but she gets shot also before any nasty business. I really enjoy early 80s violence that you got in PG films before the PG-13 rating.

• Olive – Joseph Wiley (Ryan O’Neal) is a down on his luck electrical engineer who has found his way to Mexico because he just lost his job and divorced his wife and is now looking for excitement. Things start to pick up for Wiley when he runs into Holbrook (Anne Archer) who needs a ride to local hotel and the attractive pair quickly engage in some romantic banter. Turns out that Holbrook is a wealthy socialite whose sister was the one nearly raped and then murdered in Colombia and she is out for revenge. I think Wiley just found his excitement that he was looking for.
• Chartreuse – Wiley ends up in the wrong room at the hotel and when he gets a call about an emerald deal Wiley decides to play along because he thinks that he needs money to impress Holbrook. The emerald deal goes south very fast with Wiley getting shot in the hip and forcing to escape by swimming out to sea. Wiley is then conveniently rescued by Holbrook who is piloting a speedboat that has a rope off the end that Wiley is able to grab onto. It is all very fantastic and the start of some of the over the top action set pieces in Green Ice.

• Forest – Meno Argenti (Omar Sharif) is the head of the emerald concession, and the one causing all the trouble in Colombia. The thing is, Argenti screwed up awhile back and has been exiled to Mexico by the diamond concession of which Holbrook’s father is a part of. Argenti is wooing Holbrook to get in the concession’s good graces and Holbrook is getting close to Argenti to take him down. Argenti has the emeralds flown from Colombia to his fortress in the sky in Mexico which is an ultra secure vault.
• Teal – Wiley and Holbrook join up with the Colombian revolutionaries trying to take back their country. They need emeralds to pay for their fight and this leads to some quick and shocking murders. Two thumbs up again to the early 80s PG rating. The most shocking murder comes after Wiley is thrown in prison for a short time and we see a man getting eaten alive by hogs. After he is released, Wiley and Holbrook decide the only way to stop Argenti and the concession is to rob his fortress in the sky. Enter WIley’s friend Claude, played by John Larroquette with a southern drawl. I can forgive the lousy accent because Claude introduces a Cloudhopper as a method of transportation to get to the vault. If you don’t know what that is, just imagine a hot air balloon with a person just dangling where the basket would be. In other words pure awesomeness. A balloon attack may be a slow going affair but Green Ice doesn’t slow down after the attack as Wiley and Holbrook are on the run from Argenti.

Green Ice is probably a movie that you might have missed the first time around or forgot about it after all these years. I am very excited that I got a chance to see it because it is filled with action and adventure that hit all the right notes for me. Ryan O’Neal and Anne Archer aren’t the first names I think of when action movies come to my mind but I can’t picture anyone else as Wiley and Holbrook. Omar Sharif has some mystery about him which is exactly needed for the character of Argenti. There is an almost James Bond quality to Green Ice with the globetrotting locations, super villain, and loads of unique gadgets. If you are looking for a movie to make your friends jealous, I have to recommend Green Ice. If you are looking for just a little more info I have to recommend the Green Ice Bonus Bullet Points.

• Browne Ice – Green Ice was based on the book of the same name by Gerald A. Browne and even though the movie was originally released in 1981, American viewers did not get to see it until 1984.
• Satisfaction – Former bassist for The Rolling Stones Bill Wyman scored the music for Green Ice with the highlights being “Floating” during the Cloudhopper scene and the instrumental version of “(Si Si) Je Suis un Rock Star.”
• Licence to Be Very Similar – The opening credits are a dead ringer for a James Bond film which makes complete sense when you realize they were designed by the same man who did many of the Bond films, Maurice Binder.
• If You Ever… – Wanted to see Ryan O’Neal and a Colombian coffee farmer take turns spitting vodka into a lantern to create a big flame then Green Ice is for you.
• Familiar Faces – If you have ever seen The Pumaman you will definitely recognize the unique mug of Miguel Àngel Fuentes. I was however more excited to see the mom from Charles in Charge, Sandra Kerns, as a thirsty patron at the Mexican hotel bar.
• Ding Quote – “Tomorrow we dig for green ice.”