Bullet Points: Mr. Majestyk

Before I begin this review, I would like to state two things for the record… 1974’s Mr. Majestyk is the best Charles Bronson movie where Bronson plays a melon farmer. 1974’s Mr. Majestyk is also the best motion picture about a melon farmer in the history of cinema.

• Melon Patch Kids: After serving some time in prison due to a bar fight, Vince Majestyk (Charles Bronson, 10 to Midnight) decided to use his second chance to become a melon farmer. But Majestyk knows a farmer is only as good as his crops and that is why he is very particular about the people who pick his melons. Majestyk would rather pay a little extra for workers with some experience than hire a bunch of derelicts who will work for cheap. This is something Bobby Copas (Paul Koslo, The Stone Killer) and his band of hobos find out the hard way when they show up to Majestyk’s melon patch and decide to insert themselves into the situation. Copas even pulls a shotgun as a show of force, but that backfires and Majestyk forcibly removes Copas from his property and sends Copas’ crew packing instead of picking.

• Behind Bars: Copas then goes crying to the cops (leaving out key details of course) and files a complaint on Majestyk. The cops show up and arrest Majestyk and since Majestyk had a prior assault charge and a prison record, there’s no way he is going to avoid getting locked up… but Majestyk still tries to reason with the cops, offering to come back in a few days once his melons are picked… but the cop in chargem Det. Lt. McAllenn is having none of it and Majestyk soon finds himself behind bars and eventually being transported to county jail along with infamous mob hit man, Frank Renda (Al Lettieri, The Godfather).
• Break Out: Being connected has its perks and Frank Renda’s mobster buddies ambush the prison convoy… but they aren’t 100% successful because they did not factor in the quick thinking Mr. Majestyk. With bullet flying and prison guards and cops getting shot, Majestyk comes up with a bold plan that hopes will save his melons. Before Renda’s friends can get him off the bus… Majestyk manages to get everyone else off the bus. Then in a bold and ballsy move, Majestyk gets behind the wheel and takes off with a handcuffed Renda unable to do a thing about it. Majestyk takes Renda to a remote hunting cabin… Majestyk’s plan is to use the high profile murderer, Frank Renda, as a bargaining chip. Majestyk brings Renda in to the cops, the cops let Majestyk go pick his melons. Frank Renda tries to buy Majesty off, but Majestyk wants no part of it. He just wants to pick his melons. Unfortunately for Majestyk things don’t go exactly as planned and Majestyk ends up empty handed when he returns to the police station.

• This Time It’s Personal: Frank Renda seemingly dodged a bullet and thanks to his friend Lundy and his main squeeze Wiley, Renda finds himself out among the free while Majestyk is back in jail. But Majestyk REALLY pissed off Renda during their time on the run together and Renda, who has never killed a man for free before, wants to kill Majestyk himself! Killing Majestyk is going to be difficult though with Majestyk behind bars. So Renda tells Lundy to track down the guy who filed the complaint on Majestyk and tell him to drop the charges and it is no surprise that a weasel like Bobby Copas is all too happy to cooperate.
• Boiling Point: Once Majestyk is released, Renda really starts putting on the pressure as he plays mind games with Majestyk, including breaking the legs of Majestyk’s friend Larry Mendoza. But Majestyk has some games of his own with some help from his love interest, Nancy Chavez, forcing Renda and company to retreat to a lodge in the woods, which will serve as the location for the final encounter between Majestyk and Renda.

I loved this movie almost as much as Vince Majestyk loved his watermelons.

Al Lettieri is as convincing of a bad guy as I have ever seen. Lettieri’s most famous role as Virgil Sollozzo in The Godfather did not hurt his mobster credibility either.

An argument can be made that Mr. Majestyk was Charles Bronson at his coolest… the way Vietnam veteran Vince Majestyk deals with the cops, shows no fear where a notorious mob hit man is concerned, the matter of fact way he beds Nancy and even the way he runs his business… Vince Majestyk is one cool character.

Know what else is cool? Bonus Bullet Points…

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Charles Bronson stick up for migrant workers right to use a gas station toilet, then Mr. Majestyk is the movie for you.
• Bronsonpalooza ’74: Mr. Majestyk was released on July 17, 1974 just one week before the release of what would become one of Bronson’s most iconic films, Death Wish.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Charles Bronson ask another man for his sausage, then Mr. Majestyk is the movie for you.
• One Question: Did Al Lettieri say “da keys” more times in Mr. Majestyk than Martin Balsam said “my shop” in the greatest Bronson film of them all, Death Wish 3.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see a pile of watermelons face a firing squad not named Gallagher, then Mr. Majestyk is the movie for you.