Bullet Points: Breathing Fire

1991’s Breathing Fire is a movie that on the surface felt like it was going for a Seasonal Films vibe, with two young martial artists having to step up and overcome the forces of evil.

But instead of a feel good movie like No Retreat, No Surrender or American Shaolin, Breathing Fire manages to bring together a cast of characters that are all horrible human beings…

• Bank Job: Michael Moore (Jerry Trimble, One Man Army) is a single father of two sons, Tony (Michael’s biological son) and Charlie (Michael’s adopted son)… he is also a criminal mastermind who robs a bank with his co-conspirators moments after dropping off Tony and Charlie at a martial arts tournament. Michael’s crew includes Thunder (Bolo Yeung, Double Impact), Alan, Tank and Jenny (who is also Michael’s love interest)… they also have a man on the inside, Peter the bank manager, who served in Vietnam with Michael. The gist is Michael and his crew steal a bunch of gold bars and lock it up in a vault that requires two keys to unlock… Michael makes mold of these keys in a plastic pizza (Michael is apparently in the plastic food business), before destroying the original keys. The pizza is then cut into 6 pieces so the only way the keys can be recreated is if all 6 put their pieces together. This also means there will be no double crossing going on.

• Problem Children: The good news, Tony and Charlie (Jonathan Ke Quan, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) both win trophies at the martial arts tournament and now advance to the nationals. The bad news, they are both dicks. Charlie is especially abusive to Harry… a nanny of sorts who helps Michael Moore raise Tony and Charlie since the “plastic food business” eats up a lot of Michael’s time. And given their estate, the “plastic food business” also seems to be quite lucrative… we get a nice tour of the estate after Charlie refuses to clean his room and Harry starts chasing after him… the chase ends with Charlie physically assaulting Harry, while Tony laughs. After the assault on Harry, Michael forbids Charlie and Tony from going to the beach until they finish a painting project… Tony manages to insult dancing and RoboCop before the brothers hoodwink their buddy Mickey into doing all the work while they sit back and relax… because they are dicks!
• Hard Knock Life: The guilt of being involved in this heist is eating away at Peter… he wants out. But Michael warns him that Peter is either with them or against them. Peter rushes home and puts his piece of plastic pizza in an envelope… he plans on sending it to Michael’s brother David Moore (Ed Neil, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers), who also served alongside Peter and Michael in Vietnam. Peter comes clean to his wife and daughter, when his wife suggests that they call the police, Peter puts the kibosh on that idea immediately. Peter then gives the the envelope with the plastic pizza in it and tasks his teenage daughter Annie with getting it to David… that’s about the time Michael’s crew shows up and MURDERS Peter and his wife… Annie is now an orphan but manages to deliver the envelope to David. When some guys posing as cops track Annie down at David’s place, David realizes he needs to get Annie to safety and he knows a place where they can lay low… his brother Michael’s house!!!

• Out of the Frying Pan: David shows up at his brother’s place and explains the situation to Michael, who plays dumb. Harry helps Annie get settled in and that’s about the time that David meets his nephews for the first time!!! What the hell!?!? Let me get this straight Uncle David… you live in the same city as your brother and his family. You are totally comfortable going there and asking for a place to lay low… but you have never met your nephews who are now teenagers?!? Well actually that isn’t 100% true… David met Charlie when he was just an infant in Vietnam. We see in a flashback that Michael killed Charlie’s mother, because he believed she was Viet Cong (she was not) and then David shamed Michael into “doing the right thing” and adopting Charlie. Hey David, what about your brother killing an innocent woman made you think he was good father material!?!
• One Can’t Grieve Forever: Let’s add Annie to the asshole list. First of all, I know her dad said he didn’t want the cops to get involved… but I don’t think he expected that his wife was going to be murdered and that he would be murdered. At some point the cops are going to find out Annie’s parents are dead and they are going to have some serious questions for her. If not reporting the murder of her parents was bad, not grieving their murder is even worse. I know everyone grieves in their own way, but Annie seems completely unaffected. Her parents are murdered one day, the next day she’s involved in a montage with Tony and Charlie as they try to impress their new house guest, frolic in the swimming pool and go horseback riding. Annie’s fun would have likely continued but Thunder and Tank and some nameless goons show up and try to kidnap her… but Tony, Charlie and Uncle David step in to save the day and the battle lines are drawn!

• Back and Forth: Charlie, Tony and David figure out the bad guys hang out at a dance club… when they go to investigate David ends up with a busted up knee courtesy of his own brother Michael! Michael disguised himself with a fake mustache and strobe lights. Feel free to re-read that last sentence if you want. With David on the sidelines, he imparts his martial arts wisdom to his nephews. But what is going to happen when David, Charlie and Tony find out that Michael Moore is the movie’s criminal mastermind?!!?

How can a movie filled with a copious amount of plot holes and so many unlikable characters be so much fun to watch? It makes no sense, but there’s not much about Breathing Fire that makes sense (including the generic title) so I suppose it is par for the course.

What does make sense? Ending this review with some Bonus Bullet Points…

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Bolo Yeung in drag, then Breathing Fire is the movie for you.
• Familiar Face: T.J. Storm making his acting debut under the name Juan Ojeda plays Tony and Charlie’s breakdancing friend Mickey. T.J. Storm would go on to star in movies like Enter the Blood Ring, Doomsdayer, The Martial Arts Kid and Kickboxer: Vengeance.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Bolo Yeung stick a guy’s head into a urine filled toilet bowl, then Breathing Fire is the movie for you.
• Favorite Quote: “Get ready to meet your mother in hell!” – Michael to Charlie