Bullet Points: The Package (2013)

Steve Austin had arguably the hottest run of any professional wrestler in the history of that business… but when it comes to the movie business, Austin has yet to come remotely close to the level of success he enjoyed inside the wrestling ring.

But that’s not to say Steve Austin has not had a few highlights in his movie career. A prime example of that is 2013’s The Package. Austin got to work under the direction of action maestro Jesse V. Johnson and opposite a true icon in the action game, Dolph Lundgren…

• Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter: The opening scene of the movie takes place at a bowling alley, where we see shit talking Luis doing his best to be the center of attention of the entire alley. But Luis is about to get some unwanted attention when two collectors who work for Big Doug show up to do what collectors do… collect money or impose penalties. The collectors are Tommy (Steve Austin, Recoil) and Julio. Despite making bets with his friends at the alley, Luis has not bad his debt to Big Doug… Tommy asks him if he has the money, Luis does not so Tommy and Julio take advantage of their surroundings and use Julio’s purposely poor bowling skills and the ball return to bust Tommy’s nose!
• No Good Brother: Afterwards, Tommy checks in with his boss, Big Doug. We learn that Tommy’s brother, who is now serving time in prison, stole a lot of money from Big Doug and even though Tommy is a valued employee of Big Doug Incorporated, Doug can’t let the debt Tommy’s brother owes slide. But Big Doug offers Tommy a job that will wipe out his brother’s debt… all he has to do is delver a package to a crime boss known as The German. The contents of the package are a mystery, but this package is imperative for a turf war that is going on between The German and two rival crime bosses in British Columbia, a turf war that The German intends to win.

• Turf War: We get our first look at The German (Dolph Lundgren, Showdown in Little Tokyo) as he pays a visit to Nicholas, one of The German’s rival crime bosses. The meeting is cordial at first, but turns ugly quickly… The German ends up killing all of Nicholas’ soldiers and last but not least, Nicholas. Much like the bowling alley scene gave Austin’s Tommy a chance to make a great first impression, the same can be said for this scene where Dolph’s The German is concerned.

• Two Man Race: With Nicholas out of the picture the race to be British Columbia’s #1 crime boss and it is between The German and a guy named Anthony. Anthony has gotten wind of the package that is on its way and how badly The German wants said package… so naturally Anthony wants to get it first, so when Tommy rolls into town, Anthony sends a welcoming party for Tommy and the package in the form of ex-military for hire types led by Devon (Darren Shahlavi, Bloodmoon). This kicks off what is essentially a gauntlet of opponents for Tommy to square off with as he tries to deliver the damn package… including Devon and a memorable encounter with the female member of Devon’s crew, Monique (Monique Ganderton, S.W.A.T. Under Siege).

• The Main Event: For The Package to have a satisfying ending, two things have to happen… first, the mystery of the package needs to be revealed and second, Tommy needs to battle The German! The Package delivers on both counts with a brutal battle between the two headliners.

For those of you who fall on the “Dolph makes a better villain” side of the debate, The Package is a strong argument for your case. Dolph’s The German is an interesting character, it allows Dolph to show off that big brain of his in addition to the brawn that you’d expect.

Seeing the late Darren Shahlavi shine as he does in his supporting role in The Package is always bittersweet. Shahlavi added to any project he was part of and his talent was undeniable.

Not surprisingly, Austin pulled off the fight scenes like a champ and I would categorize The Package as one of Austin’s better movies. But with that said, you could sense Austin’s comfort level was not where it needed to be in some of the non-action scenes.

These Bonus Bullet Points are exactly where they need to be…

• The Name Game: Not to be confused with 1989’s The Package starring Gene Hackman, Tommy Lee Jones, Pam Grier and Dennis Franz.
• Familiar Faces: Tommy’s incarcerated brother Eddie is played by Lochlyn Munro. Munro has been in a ton of direct to video action movies, most recently Sniper: Assassin’s End… Jerry Trimble (One Man Army) as Anthony’s right hand man was a pleasant surprise as was the fight between the Golden Boy and Stone Cold!
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Steve Austin kill a man with a single head butt, then The Package is the movie for you.