Bullet Points: Welcome to Sudden Death
Michael Jai White has built up a lot of clout in the action world after a few decades of being a badass. Whether it was Black Dynamite, Undisputed 2, or landing the starring role in 1997’s Spawn, MJW has approached his career as an action star by walking the walk, and talking the talk. For many an action fan, MJW’s first real sighting on screen was probably Universal Soldier so it is quite apropos that his newest film is a continuation of a former JCVD vehicle. Giddy up!
Synopsis: Jesse (Michael Jai White) is a security guard at a professional basketball team’s arena and brings his kids to opening night of the season. At the same time, a group of terrorists take over the VIP suite and hold several important people for ransom. It’s up to Jesse to take back the arena and save his own children from certain death.
- The good old days: We see a younger Jesse (MJW) somewhere in the Middle East as a prisoner and it only takes a couple of minutes before he gets fed up with getting his ass shocked and he escapes by beating the utter crap out of these guys. The prisoners then run out of the building as it explodes and the survivors get some shrapnel in their backs for their efforts.
- A family man: Like many military men, MJW’s Jesse returns home to his family and has a hard time adjusting to the new life in front of him. Not surprisingly, killing dudes at an incredible rate doesn’t translate well to civilian life. Also, his two youngish kids are on him like a hawk to stop working so hard to be around more often. You have to give it to MJW as this felt like the first time in this film where the script started to steer in the wrong direction for me. Movies like this are already playing off of that old Die Hard formula and really need to find a way to stand out instead of just being that same old thing.
- Enter bad guys: Jesse brings his kids to work, which is a professional basketball arena where the opening game is happening and the mayor and governor are going to be in attendance but the most important person there has to be the financier of the arena and that is a Ms. Diana. She’s a billionaire tech leader who is using her money and power to reinvigorate the underprivileged area that she grew up in. In fact, the Governor is a super douche, the Mayor is fine, and Diana is the shining star personality. It’s no surprise that the Alpha Tech boys sneak in under the guise of tech support gurus and take over the arena.
- Speaking of bad guys: Okay…this movie is a continuation of the Sudden Death “franchise” but is certainly a Die Hard ripoff to the highest degree. That isn’t a total negative, though. I love Die Hard ripoffs and often give them the mega thumbs up that they deserve. One major issue with Welcome to Sudden Death that presents itself early is that the villain is so poorly written that he’s laughable. He gets put in his place by a 10 year old girl and does nothing at any point to appear either intelligent or brutal. I enjoyed the way they got their weapons into the arena, but at no point did this man (I have no idea what his name was) present a threat.
- The take over: The bad guys make their way into the arena and immediately take out the security guards who can’t carry guns. No biggie. What they don’t plan for, however, is that MJW is loose and will literally beat the crap out of anyone and everyone. Eventually, his daughter is in the wrong place at the wrong time and witnesses the bad guys doing some bad things. It finally gives some leverage to Alpha and his crew and it should have made MJW’s job more difficult.
- Nope, not even a little: Holy crap! MJW dispatches the worthless, nameless losers in this movie so easily that he doesn’t even break a sweat. They should have just given them red shirts and ski masks and called it a day. I can’t remember a film where the main star had zero trouble blowing through the henchmen to get to the final boss. If this were a video game, it would be a record breaking turnaround time before you resold it to the used games store. It’s both hilarious and indicative of a poorly written action film. With a dude like MJW in the lead, there needed to be someone (ANYONE) who posed a threat to him.
- The highs and the lows: Welcome to Sudden Death doesn’t shy away from the stereotypes that you would typically see in movies like this and that works for the most part. Where it doesn’t work, though, is very clear, MJW ends up teaming up with the head maintenance guy named Gus. He knows the building well but is every bad comic relief gimmick wrapped into one. 15 years earlier and they would have cast Rob Schneider in this role. A high point in the “use stereotypes instead of developing characters” is when they have this mercenary group come in looking for an easy money grab. It’s a shame that they didn’t have a leader worth a damn or just more people…
- The finale: There are finally some positives to talk about. I’ve been joking about using my belt as a weapon ever since I saw Fist of Legend as a kid and my boy MJW finally does it. And even before that, he takes one of those annoying t-shirt guns and uses it in a Mexican standoff. That has to be a first. Eventually, we get the final bit that we’ve been expecting and Jesse and Alpha square off with little on the line except for Jesse’s daughter. Like every other villain in this movie, Alpha is woefully abused in the fight and it almost feels like Jesse feels sorry for him and lets him stab him. We’re given a couple of more lame attempts at humor before Jesse finally disposes of Alpha and turns into nothing more than pink dust particles in the air ventilation system.
The Verdict: I think I’ve bashed this movie enough. I generally enjoy Michael Jai White’s films and believe that he could be a massive action star given the right role. This may have been the right role for him but it is absolutely the wrong script. There were long stretches of this movie where it felt like nothing was happening and while the initial break-in happens only 15 minutes or so into the film, it felt like it took a while to get to anything exciting. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Michael Jai White is a jacked dude who KNOWS how to fight. Cutting up his scenes and sticking him in there with nobodies does him no good. Give him credible henchmen to beat up and just one scene where he gets to act and see what he can do. If MJW was the lead in White House Down instead of Channing Tatum then that movie would have been a home run. Sadly, Welcome to Sudden Death is not. Hell, the term “sudden death” makes no sense with a basketball game and it never even makes it to over time.
