Bullet Points: Hard Target

I could talk forever about John Woo’s Hard Target. Instead, I decided to do a quick review that highlights some of the reasons why I love this film. 

• The Most Dangerous Game: I enjoy Most Dangerous Game concept films as much as I enjoy a watchable Die Hard ripoff. I’m a sucker for humans hunting humans and when the hunter becomes the hunted. The plot of Hard Target fits this concept: Bad guys led by Lance Henriksen’s Emil Fouchon hunt and kill homeless veterans for sport in the streets of New Orleans. When a curious young lady, Yancy Butler’s Nat can’t find her dad, she hires Chance Boudreaux to help her find him. Chance isn’t just any fella, he’s Jean-Claude Van Damme or JCVD for short. JCVD rocks one of the greatest mullets in the history of cinema. Not only does his mullet kick ass, but so does his fighting and gunplay skills. A lot of the credit must go to John Woo.
• The Man. The Myth. The John Woo: Hard Boiled might be the greatest action movie ever. Woo followed Hard Boiled with his Hollywood debut, Hard Target. In my opinion, Hard Target plays a lot like a Hong Kong action flick. The slow motion. The doves or other birds singing. The leaping gunfire. The tiny hint of sappy melodrama. The over-the-top baddies. The usage of motorcycles. The insane stunts. The ungodly amount of bullets in the air. The way characters look at each other. I can picture Hard Target as a Hong Kong film with Donnie Yen as the lead, and Simon Yam as the main baddie. You can also insert some other actors to complete the cast. 

• JCVD ain’t no joke: In my opinion, JCVD is close to perfection in Hard Target. The way he shoots a gun is outstanding. Especially, when he’s riding a motorcycle while shooting. His kicks are on point. He is definitely not wooden with his martial arts. His kicks are quick and deadly. The amount of air time JCVD had, probably made Michael Jordan jealous. JCVD’s cool factor is off the charts. You can make a case he doesn’t have the greatest chemistry with Yancy Butler, but in all honesty, it doesn’t bother me. Yancy just hangs out. She’s pretty much JCVD’s driver. I doubt Chance and Nat lived happily ever after. 

• The Baddies: Lance Henriksen does what you expect him to do. He’s a great heel. However, it is his main henchman, Arnold Vosloo’s Pik van Cleef who absolutely steals the film. He has the badass look down. He is a menace. He is a psycho. He has a lot of hilarious one-liners. He also has evil eyes. I’ve heard stories that JCVD was upset with the original edit of Hard Target. He felt the film focused too much on Lance Henriksen’s Emil Fouchon. The final edit makes this theory seem true. We don’t focus a lot on Lance. But, it seems they left Arnold’s part alone. To me, his role as the henchman sticks out more. In other words, Arnold Vosloo gets the most out of every scene he’s in. The other bad guys are nothing more than jobbers. The only baddie close to being relevant besides Lance and Arnold is Sven-Ole Thorsen’s Stephan. The only reason why you might remember him is the cigar he’s constantly chewing on. 
• Diabeetus: God Bless, Wilford Brimley. His Uncle Douvee character doesn’t appear until an hour in, but you can’t help but love him. I couldn’t understand a word he said, but that’s the beauty of it all. He’s a master with a bow, and he always knows what to mumble when the going gets rough. Wilford Brimley was 80 years old for 30 straight years. How many actors can say that? 

Hard Target has some of the hardest action I’ve ever seen in a Hollywood production. From the motorcycle mayhem to the rumble in the building with all the old carnival rides. The film is nothing but insanity. A must watch for any action fan.

There’s no way in hell you could celebrate JCVD’s Birthday without Bonus Bullet Points for Hard Target…

• Yummy Snake: You actually thought I wouldn’t talk about JCVD bitting the rattler off the rattlesnake? It is a genius move, because no one will hear the snake strike. 
• Kasi Lemmons: Probably the most underrated character in Hard Target is Kasi Lemmon’s Det. Marie Mitchell. She has a hard job, because she’s the only cop working in New Orleans due to a police strike. If you’re looking for a great movie to watch, check out Eve’s Bayou. Kasi wrote and directed it, and it is one of the most unique films I’ve ever seen.
• Nut Shots: How many people got shot in the nuts in Hard Target? A lot would be the correct answer. Like I said earlier, Yancy Butler doesn’t do much, but she is responsible for one of the coolest nut shots in the film. 
• Favorite Quote: “Wakey wakey, you fat f*ck!” Said by Pik van Cleaf to this fat slob named Poe. Don’t feel sorry for Poe. He definitely ain’t no saint.