Bullet Points: 10: The Secret Mission

Sometimes movies are realistic and show the audience a slice of real life that the viewer can enjoy without the danger of actually being there. Other times movies have a complete unrealistic premise that nobody watching would believe. Either form of action movie can be enjoyable and I recently watched one that fit into the second category. 10: The Secret Mission is an Indonesian action movie from 2017 that has us believe that the best option to rescue hostages is with 10 female models-cum-commandos. While that seems like an improbable premise, it doesn’t matter because it is an entertaining action movie and I just happen to have some Bullet Points for 10: The Secret Mission.

• Diez – When you start a movie with a helicopter getting blown up you are telling the audience two things. First, get ready for an action packed ride, and second, the CG budget is not very high. Luckily for 10: The Secret Mission the action stays consistent and there isn’t too much need for CG. We soon learn the exploding helicopter is the Indonesian military attempting to rescue some hostages, including the daughter of the US Ambassador, on an island. When it is not successful, the Secret Intelligence Service realizes they need a new plan. As you can probably guess, the SIS decides to recruit models, models with particular sets of skills, to become commandos. Why models will be able to better infiltrate an island compared to trained professionals is anybody’s guess, although we might learn why later. Turns out the SIS has a history of recruiting civilians to do their dirty work and that is all the explanation that I need.

• Dix – All the models excel in martial arts or another valuable skill. The women are also recruited because they have financial problems, seeking revenge, or have family members that could use some help from the government. Having ten models becoming commandos is a unique and intriguing premise, but there is one problem. Ten different characters is too many to get to know with any sort of detail, but 10: The Secret Mission tries. We meet the models with a short flashback for each member that has a screen shot with their name and disciple, including wushu, silat, Krav Maga, karate, taekwondo, aikido, Muay Thai, archery, parkour, and sniping. All disciplines are needed to succeed in their mission and we get to see them all.

• Zehn – The 10, as they are known, are led by three SIS members. Colonel John is the field leader. Major Cathy is the lead trainer (or trainner as written on screen) and additionally the major pain in the side of the 10. She rides the women hard, but only because they have less than a week for training.  Capitan Dalton is the other field expert and along with Cathy is one of the SIS to actually go on the mission. We learn pretty quickly in the training that the 10 can hold their own through some training montages, but don’t fret if you want there to be some time for personal relationships. The next montage shows why the models are better in infiltrating an island… bikini photoshoot montage. 

• Sepuluh – Once the 10 get to the island we finally learn who the terrorists are and 10: The Secret Mission takes a downturn. The bad guy is an American named Paul, and doesn’t that name strike fear in your heart. Paul is mad at the ambassador because he wanted to be with the ambassador’s wife. All of that is ok, but the problem is how Paul was portrayed. Paul is the loudest, but slowest talking villain I have ever heard. Some of that might have to do with the Dutch Hans de Kraker doing an American accent but it is distracting. His sidekick Jane, on the other hand, is a real ass kicker. Unsurprisingly, not everything goes smoothly during the attack. Will the 10 save the hostages? Will they all make it out alive? Will there be a battle royal with a variety of weapons to end the movie that lasts over 10 minutes?

I don’t want to spoil 10: The Secret Mission, but I will answer the last question… Yes! If the unique premise for 10: The Secret Mission isn’t enough to get you to watch, the ending fight should get you to watch. I’m talking over 10 minutes of all the major players in the movie going at it with a variety of weapons. Throw in a room with a foot of water and 10: The Secret Mission all of suddenly deciding to get very bloody (dig the throat ripping). Many of the actors in 10: The Secret Mission don’t have very many roles in their filmographies, but they work, with their physicality and emotions definitely are a plus. What else works is ending the 10: The Secret Mission Bullet Points with some 10: The Secret Mission Bonus Bullet Points.

• Subtitle Syntax – 10: The Secret Mission is mostly in Indonesian with subtitles. Subtitles that are filled with grammatical errors (not that there’s anything wrong with that). My favorite is when Cathy said she was running out of patients (instead of patience.) What is she a doctor now?
• No Fair – As I said, most of the film is subtitled, except for the Americans, and when Cathy is dropping F-bombs and S-bombs. The sentences with curse words are in English. I already know those ones. How am I supposed to learn to swear in Indonesian?
• Disturbing Quote – As if Paul wasn’t bad enough, his grandmother told him that “piss makes good medicine.”
• R.I.P. – I have never been to Indonesia, let alone an Indonesian cemetery, so can someone tell me if it is common to see handwritten tombstones?
• Final Thought – I love the bloopers during the end credits.