Bullet Points: The Dragon’s Showdown
Whether you prefer your classic “Kung Fu Theater” flicks with subs or dubs, you have to expect a certain level of the original dialogue is going to be lost in translation.
1980’s The Dragon’s Showdown either had more lost in translation than usual or the source material was completely nonsensical. Either way, I’ll do my best to make sense of it all in this edition of Bullet Points…
- Separated at Death: The movie begins with a notorious bandit and his two heavies trying to force a farmer and his family off their land. The farmer refuses, this land has been in his family for generations and he plans on passing it down to his three children when he is gone. The farmer then goes inside for his sword but the numbers game is too much… the farmer is killed. The farmer’s wife begs for mercy, but she too is killed. The farmer’s eldest son was hiding nearby and witnessed both murders. The farmer’s other son is a toddler who was fortunately spared from the carnage thanks to a quick thinking nanny who got out while the getting was good. And lastly was the farmer’s infant daughter who is “adopted” by the bandit.
- 20+ Years Later: The movie jumps ahead and we are introduced to the man who was just a toddler at the start of the film, Lee Chin-Tai (Dragon Lee). Lee Chin-Tai is sparring with a young lady named Shirley (Cheryl Meng), the flirtatious sparring session is interrupted when Lee Chin-Tai gets news that his aunt (presumably the aunt who raised him after his parents were murdered) is gravely ill. Lee Chin-Tai rushes over to see his aunt on her deathbed. His aunt’s dying wish is that Lee Chin-Tai avenge the brutal deaths of his parents… Lee Chin-Tai has no intentions of not granting his aunt’s dying wish and his mission of vengeance is about to begin.
- Surely You Can’t Be Serious: Shirley wants to accompany Lee Chin-Tai on his journey (to both assist Lee Chin-Tai and make sure he’s not stepping out on her), but Lee Chin-Tai tells her she needs to stay home and that he will be back once he’s dished out some vigilante justice. Shortly on his way to the town where his parents’ farm was located, he is stopped by a “man” who starts grilling Lee Chin-Tai about where he is going and what he is doing. It turns out that the “man” is really Shirley wearing a hat… if you are the type of person who takes umbrage with how Superman can disguise with nothing more than a pair of glasses, then you’ll really hate that a hat is enough for Shirley to go incognito. Shirley professes her love for Lee Chin-Tai, who gives in and allows her to join him.
- Coming Home to Roost: Lee Chin-Tai is not the only orphan out for revenge. His older brother, Lee Chin-Tung (Marty Lam, Secret Ninja, Roaring Tiger) is also looking to avenge the death of his parents. We learn that five years after the murder of the parents of the Lee Chin boys, the bandit responsible changed his name to Hu Cheng-Peng (Martin Chui, The Dragon’s Snake Fist) and moved to a house on top of a hill… the strange thing is everyone seems to know about Hu Cheng-Peng’s past so the new identity is basically useless. When Lee Chin-Tung arrives in town he is immediately harassed by Hu Cheng Peng’s men, but Lee Chin-Tung gets the better of the underlings. This trend continues until Lee Chin-Tung squares off with Hu Cheng-Peng’s number two guy, Master Ma (Lee Ye-Min, Golden Dragon, Silver Snake) and his magnetic sword!
- Magnets, How Do They Work: When Ma activates the sword’s power, a metal necklace that was being worn by Lee Chin-Tung is attracted to the sword and leaves him defenseless… Ma then pulls out a dagger and stabs Lee Chin-Tung in the gut. A mortally wounded Lee Chin-Tung wanders off and instead of chasing after him Ma decides he won’t get very far and instead goes to brag to his boss about how he took out one of the people looking for him. This sets ups a Lee Chin-Tung and Lee Chin-Tai meeting. Lee Chin-Tung warning his younger brother about the magnet power. Lee Chin-Tai seems to alternate between knowing and not knowing he is speaking to his older brother (and honestly there’s no way he could know) but the conversation does give Lee Chin-Tai the idea to create some magnet gimmicks with reverse polarity to the sword that he can wear on his hands. This will be a valuable weapon when he battles Hu Cheng-Peng and his magnet power!
And it is the final battle between Hu Cheng-Peng and the tag team of Lee Chin-Tai and Shirley that saves this jumbled up movie. Dragon Lee’s fighting skills and over the top antics paired with some highly entertaining sound effects end the movie on a strong note.
Let’s end this review on a strong note with some Bonus Bullet Points…
- AKA: The Dragon’s Showdown is also known as The Dragon’s Infernal Showdown.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Dragon Lee fight a final boss while desperately trying to hitch up his britches, then The Dragon’s Showdown is for you.
- Twisted Sister: Remember earlier how I mentioned Hu Cheng-Peng adopted the infant sister of Lee Chin-Tai? Well, when he realizes that there are people coming for him, Hu Cheng-Peng has his “daughter” locked up in a room to keep her safe. By the end of the movie, she just ends up leaving with Lee Chin-Tai and Shirley and doesn’t seem to be all that upset about the fate of her “father”.
