Bullet Points: The New Gladiators (1984)
Director Lucio Fulci is most synonymous with the horror genre, directing movies like The New York Ripper, Touch of Death and Zombie 3.
But in 1984 Fulci would dabble in the post-apocalyptic action genre with the movie, The New Gladiators…
- The Ratings War: The year is 2072… after decades upon decades of war, violence has become a way of life in society… something that does not go unnoticed by the big two broadcast television networks. The most watched show in the world is Kill Bike, a human demolition derby of sorts with combatants from around the world on motorcycles racing inside an arena and trying to eliminate one another by any means necessary. Seven Seas’ rival network is the World Broadcasting System (WBS for those in the know). The top rated show on that network is called The Danger Game, where contestants are hooked up to a dream generator that places the contestant in a certain death situation… if they don’t panic, they win a fantastic all expenses paid vacation. While The Danger Game is a hit for WBS, it can’t touch Kill Bike in the ratings and the higher ups at WBS are getting sick and tired of playing second fiddle…
- The New Gladiators: WBS programming chief Cortez (Claudio Cassinelli, Hercules) gets word from his boss, the seemingly omnipotent Sam, that the network has plans for a new show that is a take off on the gladiatorial games that took place in The Roman Colosseum centuries earlier. The network has already arranged for 20 condemned criminals to participate in their New Gladiators show but they realize they need a hero if this series is going to take off and they have the perfect candidate….
- The Superstar: The runaway success of Kill Bike has made a star out of the Kill Bike Champion, Drake (Jared Martin, Karate Warrior). Cortez knows if he gets Drake to be the star of The New Gladiators it will guarantee that show’s success. But how is Cortez going to get Drake to jump ship!?! It is simple really, he dispatches some whistling intruders to murder Drake’s wife and frames Drake for murdering the men who killed his wife. This puts Drake on death row and makes him available to be a part of The New Gladiators.
- The Cast of Characters: Drake shows up at WSB headquarters and does not receive the warmest of welcomes from his fellow gladiators… most notably Akira who tries to fight Drake the moment he lays eyes on him. In addition to his fellow gladiators, Drake meets the drill sergeant like trainer Raven and WSB’s computer tech, Sarah… who seems to be a little sweet on Drake. After Drake takes a stand against hard ass Raven… enlightening him to the fact that the gladiators are necessary for The New Gladiators show to work, Raven is not. That makes Drake “The Golden Goose” and isn’t long before some of his fellow gladiators start warming up to him… most notably Abdul (Fred Williamson, Original Gangstas).
- The Truth: Computer whiz Sarah does some digging into the night Drake’s wife was murdered and finds out that Drake did not kill the men who murdered his wife and that he was in fact framed… this puts her firmly on Drake’s side now and the two begin to team up to upset the apple cart where the World Broadcasting System and Cortez is concerned. And speaking of The New Gladiators, the show debuts to a monster rating, despite not delivering what was advertised. The show is absolutely nothing like the Roman Gladiators of old. The truth is it is just a Kill Bike rip off, with the motorcycles being gussied up to look like chariots. Are there no lawyers in 2072 to contest this obvious intellectual property case!?!
The New Gladiators had a lot of promise and interesting premise combined with some of the elements that made The Running Man and Mad Max enjoyable, But it felt like for every good thing The New Gladiators did, it also did something poorly… so you end up with a movie that isn’t good enough to be considered good, but not bad enough to be considered unwatchable.
These Bonus Bullet Points are good enough to be considered readable…
- AKA: New Gladiators had a bevy of aliases including Rome 2033 – The Fighter Centurions, Warriors of the Year 2072 and Rome, 2072 A.D.
- Strobe Light Montage: There are several sequences where the gladiators are in training (mind you not on motorcycles) that utilize a strobe light effect.
- Out of Context Quote: “Ok Raven, now I want you to zap me with your magic stick.” – Drake
