Bullet Points: Robot Jox
If Internet lore is to be believed, it is a minor miracle that Empire Picture’s Robot Jox ever saw the light of day.
The movie was plagued with creative differences between director Stuart Gordon and writer Joe Haldeman over everything form the title of the movie to the tone of it.
Robot Jox also had the biggest budget of any film ever produced by Empire Pictures… in fact the budget was probably too big because Empire declared bankruptcy during the production of the movie. Empire’s financial woes would delay the release of Robot Jox which actually completed principal photography in 1987, but didn’t hit theaters in the United States until November 1990.
- No More War: Robot Jox takes place 50 years after mankind was nearly wiped out by a nuclear holocaust. Not wanting to repeat that terrible chapter in history, war has now been outlawed and all territorial disputes between the two surviving nations, the Market and the Confederation, are now settled in singular combat. That combat is done via giant robots and the brave men that pilot these robots are known as Robot Jox.
- Collision Course: The movie quickly establishes Alexander (Paul Koslo, Mr. Majestyk) as a stand out of the Robot Jox… and seeing Alexander in action, it is also quickly established that Alexander has a sadistic streak. Alexander represents the Confederation and it is clear that Alexander is on a collision course with the last of the Market’s Robot Jox, Achilles (Gary Graham). The two gladiators find themselves in a battle for Alaska but the fight ends in disastrous results… Alexander illegally launches a projectile fist that is heading straight towards the fans sitting in the bleachers cheering on their hero Achilles… Achilles maneuvers to get his robot between the fans and the fist… but the blow from the fist knocks Achilles’s robot off balance and Achilles and his robot fall backwards into the fans killing more than 300 people. The fight is officially ruled a draw by the governing body for these fights and a rematch is announced… a rematch that Achilles wants no part of.
- The New Generation: With Achilles seemingly out of the picture, the Market turns to some of the genetically created humans they have that were created solely for the purposes of giant robot combat, known not so affectionately as “Tubies” (short for test tube babies). The two stand outs of this new generation of Robot Jox are Athena (Anne-Marie Johnson) and Sargon (Thyme Lewis). Sargon is cocky and full of bravado and has a sense of entitlement a mile wide. Athena doesn’t lack confidence in her abilities but is not as verbose about it and she definitely shows more respect for those who came before her and takes a great interest in Achilles and what makes him tick. Achilles takes some interest in Athena and is more than a little sweet on her… but chauvinistically does not believe there’s a chance in hell that a woman will ever be one of the Robot Jox.
- Rematch of the Century: Achilles heads home to visit his brother, his sister-in-law and their house full of howl at the moon kids. And it is at his brother’s house that Achilles sees the news that Athena won the competition to be named the newest of the Market’s Robot Jox and will battle Alexander and the Confederation in the rematch for Alaska. So Achilles cuts his visit short and is out of retirement just as fast as he was in it. This sours Athena on Achilles, not only because she gets pulled from the fight but in her mind she believes that Achilles retired as a negotiation ploy to get more money to fight. In reality, Achilles returned because he was worried about her and didn’t want Athena going up against someone with the killer instinct of Alexander in her first fight… but as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… and Athena goes to great lengths to make sure she is the one piloting the robot in the fight for Alaska.
- This Time It’s Personal: All of Achilles’ fears in regards to Athena mixing it up with Alexander turn out to be true but fortunately for Athena, Achilles comes to her aid and takes her spot mid-fight and we get the rematch that was teased between Achilles and Alexander in a fight that becomes much more than a fight over Alaska… because this fight is personal!
I would not rank Robot Jox above any of the other action oriented films Empire Pictures produced during its run like Eliminators, Zone Troopers or Trancers… but given the trials and tribulations the movie endured, I guess that is to be expected.
With that said, Robot Jox was still a fun little piece of Empire goodness made in a time before CGI ruled the roost and practical effects were king. So if you yearn for yesteryear, Robot Jox isn’t a bad option.
If you yearn for Bonus Bullet Points, yearn no more…
- Familiar Faces: Danny Kamekona (The Karate Kid Part II) plays Dr. Matsumoto, the brains behind the Market’s Robot Jox program and the man who designed the Market’s robot and the robot’s weaponry… Michael Alldredge (Iron Eagle) plays Commander Tex Conway, Conway was one of the winningest Robot Jox in history and now serves as a coach to Achilles and the other Robot Jox hopefuls.
- Hostile Work Environment: At one point in the film when Achilles and Tex are talking at the gym, Professor Laplace, the scientist in charge of the “genetically created humans”, hands each of them a cup and asks them for a sperm sample. At that point, Achilles looks over at Athena and says he would rather make a “direct deposit”.
- Espionage: There is talk of the Confederation having a spy in the Market camp through out the film. This isn’t just sour grapes from the losing side trying to discredit Alexander’s success, there is truth to it and this aspect of the story is paid off in a major way before all is said and done.
- Break a Leg: In the world of Robot Jox it is bad luck to wish someone good luck so instead they say “crash and burn”. Full Moon Pictures would recycle the robot footage from Robot Jox for their 1990 movie, Crash and Burn.
