Bullet Points: The Ultimate Fight
When I found The Ultimate Fight while scrolling through Prime Video, the name of the movie and the cover art set some expectations in my mind about the plot of the movie.
When I actually watched The Ultimate Fight on Prime Video all those expectations went right out the window…
- Tha Crossroads: The movie begins in Manila, where we see Pinoy (Shishir Inocalla, Mask of Death) engaging in some stick fighting and doing so quite successfully and to the delight of the spectators. But Pinoy is having an internal struggle far tougher than the fight he just engaged in. Pinoy is wondering what the hell he is doing with his life (I had a similar feeling with every passing minute of this movie). Pinoy goes to his Master and he tells Pinoy that if he has any hope of moving on in his life, he must find himself and the silence inside him and there’s only one place for him to do that… America.
- Coming to America: Pinoy hops on a plane and he’s coming to America… TODAY! But before Pinoy arrives we cut to Seattle, Washington where we meet Jesse (Ernie Reyes Jr, The Rundown). Jesse is a cocky young punk who decides he’s going to mess with The Dragons, a street gang who have been tasked by their boss to deliver some narcotics… but Jesse decides he is going to disrupt their plans and he starts some shit with them, despite them having a big numbers advantage. This decision seemingly backfires on Jesse as The Dragons start to beat the crap out of him in a back alley. That’s about the time Pinoy shows up in a taxi. Why he asked the taxi to take him to a rough part of town is a mystery, but an even bigger mystery is the little kid who pops up out of nowhere in the middle of the night and tells Pinoy that there’s a guy getting beat up in the alley and that he needs some help. Where did this kid come from? And how did he know Pinoy would be able to help?
- Fast Friends: Fortunately for Jesse, Pinoy does decide to help and he kicks some major ass, saving Jesse and allowing Jesse to abscond with the narcotics that The Dragons were set to deliver. Jesse then brings Pinoy back to the foster home that he lives at (a foster home run by drug dealer Nancy and her right hand man Senior (Ernie Reyes Sr, Surf Ninjas). To repay Pinoy, Jesse offers the services of Susan, a fellow foster home resident who turns tricks. Pinoy respectfully declines and is just happy to have a place to stay, since he used the last of his money on the cab ride.
- Parker Lewis CAN Lose: The Dragons have to break the news to their boss Hitler… yes, they named the villain in this movie Hitler. Hitler is played in eccentric and over the top fashion by Corin Nemec (Drop Zone). Hitler has an equally eccentric secretary/lover and I can’t forget Kimo. Kimo is Hitler’s muscle and is played by Kimo Leopoldo. As you might imagine, Hitler is pissed off because those drugs were a part of a major deal between Hitler and an underworld colleague who is not going to be happy about not getting what he paid for. The rest of the movie revolves around Hitler and The Dragons attempting to recover the drugs that Jesse stole from them and I’ll let you guess how that turns out.
There are a lot of negative things I could say about The Ultimate Fight… the characters, the plot, the editing …but I think I will let the movie speak for itself and share this bit of actual movie dialogue with all of you. To set it up, this is where The Dragons first show up at the foster home and call Jesse out for stealing their drugs in front of Jesse’s fellow foster home residents and Senior…
“He’s the mother fucker right there. He’s the one!” – Dragon #1, referring to Jesse
“I fuck mothers too.” – Dragon #2
“So, let’s see you fuck your mothers.” – Senior
Actually finishing The Ultimate Fight felt like the ultimate fight for me, but finishing this review of The Ultimate Fight will be much easier courtesy of these Bonus Bullet Points…
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Corin Nemec wear women’s lingerie, then The Ultimate Fight is the movie for you.
- Triple Duty: Not only was Ernie Reyes Jr one of the stars of The Ultimate Fight, he also directed the movie and co-wrote it with Manu Tupou.
- AKA: The Ultimate Fight is also known as The Process. “The Process” is referenced a couple of times early on in the film. First by one of The Dragons when he mentions that Pinoy was “using a new process”. Shortly after that Senior has a discussion with Nancy about “The Process” but the explanation behind “The Process” confused me and made me believe the writing process of this movie involved copious amounts of ganja.
- Disturbing Quote: “Give me the report or pull my dick out of their ass.” – Hitler
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Ernie Reyes Jr. transform a pool table into a guest bed, then The Ultimate Fight is the movie for you.
