Bullet Points: Crank

Jason Statham probably doesn’t get the credit he deserves for being the new blood that action movies needed at the start of the 21st century. After building his reputation and making a name for himself for a few years, Jason Statham officially put the action world on notice with 2002’s The Transporter and after that there was no looking back.

Statham continued to build his fan base and action resume in the years that followed the release of The Transporter, including 2006’s Crank…

• The Set Up: The movie starts off hitman Chev Chelios (Jason Statham, Wrath of Man) waking up frantic, realizing something is very wrong with him. The use of the Chev POV shots at the start was a great choice, putting the audience right in Chev’s discombobulated shoes as he stumbles around his apartment before spotting a DVD by his television labeled “FUCK YOU”. Chev pops the DVD and finds out what happened to him… he was attacked from behind by scum bag drug dealer Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) and one of Verona’s baseball bat wielding goons. They knocked Chev out and then injected him with a poison all because Chev’s last job did not go exactly as planned. Chev freaks out after basically seeing his own murder, destroying his television in the process. Chev is not just going to wait around to die so he hops in his car, a 1972 Buick Riviera, and goes on the hunt for Ricky Verona.

• The Adrenaline Rush: Crank has one of the best premises in action movie history, because in order to survive Chev needs his adrenaline to be pumping, essentially making him the human version of the bus from Speed… which means an almost non-stop stream of action and I can’t recall any action fan complaining about too much action in an action movie. When Chev is not driving fast and recklessly on the streets of Los Angeles with the cops in hot pursuit, he is driving fast and recklessly INSIDE a shopping mall like he was one of The Blues Brothers. Chev is also starting fist fights, raiding a convenience store for all their energy drinks and trying to acquire epinephrine from a local medical facility and arguing with a man who just suffered a heart attack, culminating with a hospital gown wearing Chev stealing a police motorcycle and performing tricks on it.

• The Girlfriend: The action does slow down a bit when Chev is finally able to reach his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) on the phone, knowing that Verona will be coming after her since his plan to kill Chev is taking longer than expected. Chev manages to get her out of her apartment and the two go out to lunch and it is there where we find out that Eve had no idea that Chev was a hitman for hire, she believed that he was a video game programmer. Chev comes clean, telling her about how he decided he wants out of the hitman game after he couldn’t go through with killing his last target, Don Kim played by Keone Young (Side Note: I was happy to find out that Keone was the voice for Storm Shadow on the classic G.I. Joe cartoon series as well as the voice of the Super Ninja on Chuck Norris’ Karate Kommandos). He then tells her as a result of his refusal to do the job he was contracted to do, he has now been injected with a poison that will kill him, unless he keeps his adrenaline up… Eve doesn’t believe a word of what he is saying at first. But the next thing you know, one of the more memorable scenes in the entire movie takes place when Chev and Eve engage in some public fornication in Chinatown.

• The News: Chev’s antics at the mall, at the hospital, on the streets of L.A. and in Chinatown have him plastered all over the news making him Public Enemy #1 with the authorities who have completely failed to capture this madman during his entire adrenaline junkie spree and some of Chev’s underworld associates. The movie culminates with a criminal showdown, first on the roof of a swanky downtown hotel and then on a helicopter high above Los Angeles and what I would classify as an unexpected ending for our hero, Chev Chelios.

Crank is a fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride action movie that showcased the talents of Jason Statham with its chaotic mix of action and humor.

Now let me avoid chaos and mix in some Bonus Bullet Points to this review…

• Bang Your Head: The movie gets off to a good start with Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health” playing as the opening credits roll.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Jason Statham snort cocaine off a men’s room floor, then Crank is the movie for you.
• Familiar Faces: Chev has plenty of enemies in Crank, but he has some allies too including his personal physician, Doc Miles played by singer-songwriter/actor Dwight Yoakam. There’s also Chev’s friend Kaylo played by Efren Ramirez of Napoleon Dynamite fame. I had totally forgot Efren was Kaylo, and after seeing him I had the desire to vote for Pedro so all my wildest dreams could come true.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see an extremely aroused Jason Statham in a hospital gown, then Crank is the movie for you.
• The Sequel: Statham would reprise the role of Chev Chelios in Crank: High Voltage.