Bullet Points: If You Meet Sartana, Pray for Your Death
The Western genre was given a jolt of energy by Sergio Leone and the birth of the “Spaghetti Western” and the career of a certain man named Clint Eastwood would rocket into the stratosphere. The term has become synonymous with the director/actor and the slew of films that came after their legendary trilogy would see an insane amount of success both domestically and internationally. There are others who carried the torch of the genre after Clint moved on and this film is starring such a man; Gianni Garko. He would reprise a role played by fellow Italian Franco Nero and find massive success with his character Sartana.
Synopsis: A cabal of dignitaries hire Mexican and American gangsters to steal their bank’s shipment of gold as part of an insurance scam, but master gunfighter Sartana interferes with their plans.
- I’m your pallbearer: The film opens and we instantly get the idea of the landscape. These Spaghetti Westerns always play the environment as a character and it feels so open and empty at the same time. A carriage is riding through this canyon and while it gets attacked and seemingly everyone gets shot by a mysterious dude in the rocks, a lone rider comes out and absolutely wipes the floor with the men surrounding the carriage. When they question who he is he simply states, “I’m your pallbearer”. What a boss…
- Never trust Klaus: If there is a face as untrustworthy in all the world as the one that Klaus Kinski wears then I haven’t seen it. He’s in league with some other crooks in this movie and they have planned on stealing a truck full of gold that belongs to the town’s bank. Kinski has a devilish look to him no matter what part he plays and his character in this one starts off on just the right foot for that sort of behavior.
- Backstabbers: Most of the film is played out with various bad guys shooting one another while trying to get their hands on the gold. Sartana rolls into town and makes things very difficult on both the crooks in the town and Kinski’s character named Morgan. He does so by first winning all of his money in a game of poker and later by taking turns killing Morgan’s lackeys in and outside of the town.
- Twins: Just when you think that Kinski can’t get more dangerous we get to meet his twin brother. He’s not the crack shot that his brother Morgan is with the rifle but he has some sweet moves with a knife. The sad part is that as soon as we’re introduced to the ugly bastard he gets offed by Sartana.
- Dirty old whore: Everyone in town is trying to get to that loot and only Sartana is standing up to them. Even the local prostitute who seems to know everything about everything is attempting to get one over on the man. Luckily for him, he has some wild contraption with some rope and chair that saves his bacon.
- Physical Action: One of the things you have to love about Gianni Garko in the role as Sartana is just how physical the action scenes can get. He’s running around and diving from rocks. He’s tumbling around on the ground and duking it out with baddies with the best of them. And he has a cool little pistol!
- The Team-up: Even more of the crooks in town, including the Mexican General and his goons, start gunning for that gold and it finally comes time for Sartana and Morgan to team up against them. Morgan even gets to break out his gatling gun again and the death toll rises even higher.
- All good things: No matter how good or short their team up was, it doesn’t last long. Morgan never loses sight of the prize and Sartana isn’t the type to trust him more than he can toss him. The final showdown between the two is also relatively short and I have to say that it’s not amazing. When you have Klaus Kinski in your film you’re almost guaranteed that he’ll die at some point but one thing that happens in this Sartana film is that we almost become sympathetic to him.
The Verdict: If you’re not in the know, you might go through this entire movie thinking that you’re watching Franco Nero. I know this because I did the first time I watched it! That rings as a pretty good endorsement for the film because it feels like you’re watching a couple of real masters at their craft. The setting and landscape feels a bit lacking when you compare it to the Leone films out there but director Gianfranco Parolini definitely has an eye for the genre. Sartana racks up a serious kill count and always looks cool in his black cloak. Having Klaus Kinski as the villain is like putting Sean Connery in your film as a mentor. It’s a home run. If You Meet Sartana… Pray for Death might make sense for the hoodlums in this movie but it’s not how you’ll react as a viewer. This is a classic vision of the “West” and one that deserves to be treasured.
