Bullet Points: Bail Out

Bounty hunting is something that always seems so exciting in the movies. Is it really as action packed in real life? I don’t really care because I think action movies need to be exciting so a little embellishment won’t hurt anyone and I don’t ever plan on needing the services of a bail bondsman or bounty hunter (fingers crossed). The 1989 movie Bail Out takes some likable actors and throws them into a crazy bounty hunting situation that doesn’t seem like something that would happen in real life. I have some Bullet Points for Bail Out and if any of you have ever been a bounty hunter or were the bounty make sure to let me know if it was anything like the action/comedy in the movie.

• W.B., Blue and the Bean – David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider) stars as bounty hunter/tennis instructor Roger ‘White Bread’ Donaldson and he mercifully goes by W.B. He has a couple of bounty hunter friends that help him out. Former Oakland Raider Mason ‘Blue’ Walcott (Tony Brubaker, One Man Force) and the consistently hard up for money Casper ‘Bean’ Garcia (Thomas Rosales Jr.) It was great seeing some top stunt men like Brubaker and Rosales getting some meaty roles and Hasselhoff is his same charming self that has kept him around for so long. Of course having a Caucasian character with the nickname White Bread and a Latino character with the nickname of Bean isn’t great and additionally they are probably the least offensive of quite a few offensive jokes in Bail Out. If you can look past the jokes that were more prevalent in late 80’s movies you should be ok.

• Nice To Officially Meet You – Right from the start of Bail Out we are introduced to the main characters in fun ways. Blue punches out a bounty in a boxing ring (I see you Bob Minor behind that boxing headgear). Bean is tracking a bounty in a junkyard that culminates in a shootout with a grenade being involved (standard gear for a bounty hunter I assume.) W.B. is interrupted during a slow motion tennis practice to be given his next case, the heiress Annette ‘Nettie’ Ridgeway (Linda Blair, Savage Streets) was arrested with her Columbian boyfriend with a whole bunch of cocaine in his trunk. W.B. calls on his buddies to help him out and even hatches a plan to get a little extra money from Nettie’s rich father Mr. Ridgeway (John Vernon, National Lampoon’s Animal House).

• Columbian Gold – W.B.’s first attempt to get Nettie fails after she is kidnapped by the Columbians who want their cocaine and money back from the arrest. W.B., Blue and Bean are now involved in trying to get Nettie back from some dangerous Columbians and this is where the action and comedy get turned up. Bail Out has some surprising large action set pieces with car chases, shootouts and explosions happening in far larger numbers that you might expect. The comedy doesn’t stop either, even if it can be offensive to some, with W.B. being at a unique hotel with Nettie being an unexpected treat. 

• Great Scott – Holy Crap! We are over half way through Bail Out and we meet the head Columbian, Cesar Zalazar played by Gregory Scott Cummins (Action U.S.A.) I don’t know if there is an action movie website that loves GSC more than BPA but having Gregory Scott Cummins play a Colombian with an accent and everything may be a stretch… Nah, I loved it. Our heroes eventually track Nettie and her kidnappers to Mexico which sets up an action packed finale that even sees our heroes take to the sky.

Bail Out is a unique movie that shows why Hasselhoff has consistently been on television and in the movies since the 80s and was great to see Brubaker and Rosales get their time to shine. Bail Out probably would not be made today, or at least as written, as there are several insults to all races but if you are able to look past the humor, the action is surprisingly entertaining and I can never be upset at a movie with a 90 minute runtime. If you thought this Bullet Points was going to be over without anything extra, don’t worry I have some Bail Out Bonus Bullet Points.

• Has Anyone Heard From Michigan J. Frog? – Bail Out is also known as W.B., Blue and the Bean. While Bail Out is a generic title it is superior to that wordy nonsense. Although, I did like hearing the names in the end credits song.
• Familiar Faces – Besides seeing Bob Minor getting knocked out, I loved seeing George ‘Buck’ Flower (Blood Games) as a bum and Danny Trejo (513 Degrees) as a tough, roles they have both played numerous times with aplomb.
• If You Ever – …wanted to see David Hasselhoff sing “La Bamba” while taking a shower than Bail Out is for you.
• Words to Leave You With – “May the bird of happiness fly up your nose.”