Bullet Points: American Siege
Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived 2021. A New Year is now here. 2022 is live, and I can’t think of a more appropriate first review of the year from me than American Siege starring Bruce Willis. Instead of running away from Bruce Willis DTV I have embraced it with “Arms Wide Open” like Creed fans in 2000. We all have a purpose, and I now believe reviewing Bruce Willis movies is my calling / legacy in this life.
Look for American Siege In Theaters and On Demand January 7, 2022 from Vertical Entertainment. Also some breaking news: American Siege will be getting a Blu-ray released on March 8th. Start saving your pennies now.
- Pillow Meter: Who needs a plot description, I’ll get right into the pillows. Bruce Willis starts American Siege ASLEEP in a rocking chair on his front porch or maybe the front porch of his deputy he is probably banging the hell out of. Yup! Bruce Willis plays a member of the Law Enforcement community. He is Sheriff Ben Watts. Ole Ben is a drunk, and probably one of the worst Sheriffs in the State of Georgia. He is not evil, he just doesn’t seem to see the obvious: He doesn’t run the town. He is a puppet for Charles Rutledge (Timothy V. Murphy). Rutledge is rich old money. He even has his naïve son, Kyle (Trevor “My Dad is Wayne” Gretzky) act as one of Ben’s deputies. Why does all this matter? Ben and Kyle are about to be in the middle of a hostage / siege situation. Someone wants answers to a decade long disappearance, and the answers lie within a house owned by a pharmacist. What? I’m confused explaining the plot. I thought I was skipping the plot?… American Siege has Bruce in his comfort zone. He only shows up for a day, gets the lead, and somehow is not the worst part of the film. This is another movie made in around a week. Edward Drake directs. Drake usually directs the worst of Bruce. I’m looking at you Apex and Cosmic Sin. There’s something about Bruce making fun of himself in American Siege that makes the film almost watchable. Bruce is still lazy as hell, but the laziness is part of his character, and it actually HELPS his pillow score… 2 out of 5 pillows
- Southern Charm: Georgia is on the mind in American Siege. It has a very stereotypical portrayal of people living in Georgia. The “bad” guys look like trailer park meth heads. The accents are all exaggerated. Haven’t you ever heard me talk on the Bulletproof Podcast? That’s a real southern voice. Timothy V. Murphy is a good actor, but his Southern Mumbling needs subtitles. The problem with American Siege is there’s way too much plot. Way too much talking. You spend way too much time listening to words that don’t make a lot of sense. I still don’t understand the “disappearance” mystery plot line. The lack of action is frustrating. Why even discuss a DTV action movie anymore when the action seems to take a nap for almost the entire film. (A sleep joke in a Bruce Willis review)
- Final Thoughts: Is American Siege a good or bad start for Bruce Willis in 2022? That’s a question I’m still not sure of the answer. The lack of action. The plot that no one cares about. These are warning signs. I guess American Siege is better than Cosmic Sin and Apex put together, but that’s not saying much. Reviews that only slam Bruce are lazy reviews. American Siege is loaded with issues, but surprisingly, Bruce is one of the bright spots in one hot mess of a movie.
- Grade: D+
