Bullet Points: Deathstalker
If you told me last week that between the first two movies in the Deathstalker franchise that the movie directed by Jim Wynorski had less boobs on display than the movie NOT directed by Jim Wynorski, I would not have believed you… but then I watched 1983’s Deathstalker…
- Pardon the Interruption: The movie begins with a damsel in a great deal of distress, a thief has claimed her as his own and is about to have his way with her when a group of ogre like creatures show up… are they there to help her!?!? No, they just want her for themselves… talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire! But once again, the damsel narrowly escapes certain sexual intercourse but this time because Deathstalker (Rick Hill, Class of 1999 II: The Substitute ) shows up and takes out the ogres and the thief… FINALLY the damsel in distress can breathe easy… AND then Deathstalker exposes her breasts and it looks like Deathstalker will succeed where the others have failed… BUT then Deathstalker is interrupted by a man representing King Tulak.
- A Royal Request: King Tulak asks Deathstalker for help to reclaim his kingdom from the evil clutches of Munkar. But Deathstalker isn’t hearing it… even after the King mentions his daughter Codille… but where King Tulak fails, Toralva the witch succeeds. Toralva tells Deathstalker that the evil Munkar has 2 out of the 3 Powers of Creation, which ain’t bad but Munkar is looking for the last piece and if that happens everybody is screwed. As luck would have it, Toralva knows where the third Power is (a sword that makes the holder invincible) and points Deathstalker in the right direction… a cave where Deathstalker encounters a giant and the keeper of the sword, Salmaron. When it is all said and done, Deathstalker is in possession of the sword and gains a sidekick in Salmaron, who returns to his human form after leaving the cave he had been in for decades.
- The Road to Munkar: As Deathstalker and Salmaron make their way towards Munkar’s kingdom, they happen upon Oghris (Ricahrd Brooker, Friday the 13th Part III). Oghris is a warrior on his way to a tournament that Munkar is hosting to determine the greatest warrior of them all… he stopped to help a woman in need (being a woman in this world has to absolutely suck) but the odds were not in his favor, until Deathstalker gives him a hand… but there’s one more warrior Deathstalker will meet along the way and if you look up gratuitous nudity in the dictionary you will likely find a picture Lana Clarkson as the topless Kaira.
- Let’s Party: When Deathstalker, Salmaron, Oghris and Kaira arrive at Munkar’s kingdown the night before the tournament is set to begin, they find themselves at a party that was somewhat reminiscent to the feast that Han threw for his fighters in Enter the Dragon. The party was quite the spectacle, with plenty of scantily clad women, drunk and horny warriors, a hulking pig man eating a roast pig, little people, acrobats, dancers, a fire breather, some intergender mud wrestling (where was Gene LeBell?) and Kaira even covered up her nipples for the occasion. Every thing comes to a halt when Munkar shows up to address the warriors telling them all his time is coming to an end and the winner of the tournament will win his kingdom. Then Munkar introduces his newest bride, Princess Codille (Barbi Benton)…
- A Generous Host: Munkar then offers up Codille to the warriors with Pig Man stepping up first, but then chaos breaks out in the room, Kaira tries to free Codille while the men battle it out, Oghris is swinging from a chandelier for some reason and in the end it is Deathstalker who ends up with Codille in his arms… Deathstalker asks Munkar if he can have Codille for the night and Munkar obliges saying he will send Codille to Deathstalker’s room later that night. But that doesn’t quite happen… as Munkar was hoping to eliminate Deathstalker from the tournament before it even started. In fact, Deathstalker has just as much (if not more) non-tournament action than he does actual tournament action.
- Spoiler Alert: You probably won’t be surprised to learn that Deathstalker wins the tournament or that he ends up in a climatic battle with Munkar himself, but I will say I was surprised with how that battle ended.
From everything I had heard, I expected Deathstalker to have a much different vibe than Deathstalker II, a movie I absolutely adore. What I did not expect was to be as entertained as I was by Deathstalker. Rick Hill was great in his role, the beautiful women certainly didn’t hurt and why in the world wasn’t Richard Brooker in more movies!?! After enjoying Deathstalker, I am now curious to check out the rest of the series.
If you’ve enjoyed this review, you may be curious to check out these Bonus Bullet Points…
- The Comeback: While Rick Hill did not reprise the role of Deathstalker in Deathstalker II or Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell, he was back in Deathstalker IV: Match of the Titans.
- Words of Wisdom: “Heroes and fools are the same thing.” – Deathstalker
- Directed By: James Sbardellati directed Deathstalker (under the name James Watson). Sbardellati would only go on to direct one other movie, the 1988 action comedy Under the Gun starring Sam J. Jones and Vanessa Williams.
